Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

They're literally handling sea water which is full of shit. Washing after the bacon is pointless.

All sounds annoying as fuck

Sea water possibly handling crabs it’s a dirty germ ridden activity
I’d ideally wash my hand at the end if that wasn’t possible I’d just make sure I washed them before I’d eat or drink anything
tbh it just seems an unnecessary interaction
it would of pissed me off

I don’t think I should respond well to another adult telling me to wash my hands, either.

Hand sanitiser doesn’t emulsify fats, so wouldn’t be as effective as hand washing. Soap and water lifts matter off of your hands and then of course the water sends it down the drain. After handling a high risk item (raw meat) I just would not want to risk it in this scenario for the 3yo alone really! The pub aspect - could maybe have popped for a cheeky one after hehe perfect excuse!

Yes he needed to wash his hands but a rinse in the water and hand sanitiser would have sufficed.
The stroping and insults is very unattractive

It's not hygienic to touch raw bacon and not wash your hands. I always used cooked bacon or ham for crabbing. Never thought of using raw bacon

That’s why they are called ‘opinions’ - in fact PP did actually mention that it was their opinion

I wouldn't because I'm a vegetarian and an animal lover, but if I had touched raw bacon and was then going to be holding my 3yo's hands and potentially touching a whole host of other things too, I'd wash my hands before and after the activity.

Sounds like he was lining up for a fun activity.
He should not have stormed off, but that sort of prissy, joyless behaviour would make a big dent in my day too.

How would you have responded If he had gone to the pub and then came back and said “When you asked me to wash my hands in the pub, I felt patronised, I think it is absolute overkill, and it really spoiled my day. Can I ask that you don’t interfere in me and DD having fun for something I feel is prissy nonsense”

I can imagine being annoyed at being told to wash my hands mid-activity. As others have said, crabbing is altogether a bit of a dirty activity, you'll potentially be touching the crabs, sea water etc, so you are just careful not to eat or touch your mouth during it, and then wash your hands at the end.

More than that seems overkill.

But regardless, it's probably much more about the WAY it was said. That's usually the case. None of us were there, so we don't know how you spoke to him, but clearly it felt rude to him.

What you do now depends on whether you want to be right, or happy. If you want to be right, keep insisting that you are, and that he was wrong to get upset. If you want to be happy, maybe listen to his point of view and consider whether he may have had a point regarding the way you spoke to him.

Why should he though? He’s a grown man with a job. If someone spoke to you like you were a 3yo, would you really thank them and explain that you don’t want to do it at the moment but…

He doesn’t need reminding. He would be getting filthy again anyway and presumably he can be trusted not to put his hands in his mouth! As for the child, presumably she wasn’t handling the bacon and the DH wasn’t going to put his hands in the child’s mouth.

The fact that OP said he’s been like this a lot lately makes me wonder if she makes a habit of speaking to him like that.

@Hoolieghoul how would you go crabbing?

We used to go crabbing all the time, if we washed our hands everytime we touched the raw bacon, we wouldn't have enough time for crabbing.

There's no point washing your hands after putting it in, you'll need to add more at some point and you'll be touching the crabs and the net that's been in the sea water.

As long as he keeps his fingers out his, yours and your child's mouth there not reason to wash his hands until you've finished.

Top tip for next time, take wipes with you.

It is definitely NOT safe to eat raw bacon. Even though cured and sometimes smoked, it's still considered a 'raw meat' product.

None of the crabbing equipment will be sterilised (including the crabs). How often are they expected to wash their hands?

For all you "bacon is cooked! Eating it raw doesn't make you sick! I inexplicably have D&V nine times a year!" lot...

I’d have rinsed my hands in the water and wiped them on my jeans. Just me? 🤣 Handling the crabs is probably just as risky hygiene wise.

If it was chicken I would have expected him to wash his hands - but this is bacon, which is cured. You could eat it raw if you wanted to.

this. Also as people have said bacon is "cooked" like smoked salmon, prosciutto, etcet. is cooked. and yes, you are out with a child and not carrying wipes?

Opinions are not facts...

Perhaps your DD is so ill because she's not exposed to any dirt.

But why didn’t she have sanitiser if she was that bothered? Going into a pub to wash your hands and buying nothing is cheeky AF.

If someone told me to wash my hands I would react strongly too

She is the mother of a three year old who she's trying to keep safe. It's not infantilising to remind your partner of something they clearly have not thought of themselves. Some of you have a bloody weird chip on your shoulder if you think that every instance in which your partner suggests you do something is infantilising.

And in any event - if he felt infantilised, a normal and decent way to behave would be to say something like 'Thanks for the reminder, but I actually think it's fine not to wash them since I'm going to be grubbing around in an estuary anyway. I can do it if you'd feel more comfortable with it, but I don't think it's necessary. Let's pack hand sanitiser for next time.' Not calling OP names, insulting her, and storming off like a nasty twat.

Bacon is much more like chicken than a real cured meat - you can google this with astonishing ease if you don't believe me. See what comes up when you type in 'should I wash my hands after touching raw bacon'.

You were outside, crabbing. Hands will be dirty. Everything will be dirty. Zero point in washing hands mid crabbing.

He wasn't right to storm off, but I question whether he really did, or just quietly muttered about the insanity of the request while going to do it anyway.