Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

Well he's probably had to deal with being treated like a child and told what to do over and over again. I would have stormed off myself in those circumstances. People who obsess over hygiene are annoying, and yes, hard work.

Any pub round here, you would have to buy something to use the toilets. Might as well enjoy your purchase.

Over the many, many years we have been crabbing, we have never washed hands until finished and packed away, baby wipes are handed out, if using tinned fish in oil, which is our preferred bait ( the crabs love it too ) just because its so messy.
Nobody has ever been sick on holiday, despite our apparently very lax hand hygiene.

Oh god you sound like a pain in the arse, I think your husband is old enough to decide if and when he wants to wash his hands. A bit of bacon on his hands whilst undertaking a pursuit whereby he would be handling sea creatures, isn’t going to kill anyone.

Id have went to the pub like you asked, and had a pint maybe 2.

90s children also survived clambering around for rock pools, picking up all sorts, paddling/swimming in the sea and then having a beach BBQ without sanitiser or a pub to wash our hands.

I assume from this that you have never been crabbing.

You told your husband to go & wash his hands like he was a 3yr old child…

I mean unless that is his actual level of capacity, no wonder he huffed and puffed. Is it like this all the time?

This, tbh. Generally speaking, I'd completely support the idea that you should always wash your hands after touching uncooked meat and would happily extend this to bacon.

But in context of hands in the (very dirty!) sea I think this was a bit like insisting on sterilised crockery while eating off filthy cutlery!

His rudeness and unpleasantness sit at the top of the food chain of wrongs for me, though. Can't bear angry, sulky people.

I love this.
@Unsurree of course you were unreasonable. Your husband is an adult , you were ordering him around like he’s an infant.
Last time I tried to use a pub toilet (with potty training toddlers before I’d bought a drink) I was publicly shouted at and felt humiliated.
lots of pub owners react this way, i wouldn’t have dreamed of just popping in to wash my hands after crabbing , especially if someone else told me to do it

Bacon’s the least of your worries…it’s the turds in the sea you want to worry about.

Seriously, crabbing is a bit of a mucky activity anyway- like lots of fun things kids enjoy doing. If you’re regularly so uptight about hygiene, perhaps DH feels you suck the joy out of other fun activities too?
Maybe a little bottle of hand sanitiser is a reasonable compromise?

So again how often should he have washed his hands whilst doing a job where they would be dirty continuously?

I’m sure you would be ‘petulant’ if your partner was treating you like that.

Lol not like everything else then.

Of course you wash your hands after handling meat, but;

There's no point if as soon as you get back you'll be handling more bacon, crabs and water from the estuary. You do it when you're finished, and obviously, before anyone eats anything.

You can't just waltz into a pub to use the facilities if you're not a customer.

Being sent to wash his hands like a child must have spoiled what should have been a fun activity he'd just spent time setting up. Nothing like ruining the moment.

I’d be pretty pissed off if my partner was treating me like a child and telling me ‘now go and wash your hands’.
im not a child.

If you have a major issue with cleanliness like this
1- have a word with him about it, as an adult to adult
2- plan ahead - has anyone got wipes or a small bottle of alcohol gel? I mean, what would you have done it there had been no pub nearby? Worry? Ask him to drive somewhere he can wash his hands? Forget about it and carryon enjoying your day?
3- I get you’re worried about taking some days off to care for your dd. But then the answer here is to SHARE the care of your DD. She is his child too right? And let’s be honest here, how often has she been off ‘because if bad hygiene’ vs getting ‘a virus’ from other kids…..

It's still covered in bacteria.

He sounds nasty and dirty.
Are you happy OP?
It sounds like a very stressful set up.
Washing your hands after touching raw meat is so bloody basic.
He sounds like a petulant man child.

Gawd, it's basic hygiene! Raw meat = wash hands so no, not being unreasonable. I have this issue with my partner too. He'll put a chicken into the oven for the cat, but forgets to wash his hands before he uses oven door and temp knobs. I have to remind him like a schoolboy, not a 60 year old adult who should know better. It's every time whenever he handles raw meat.

This entirely. You can't mitigate against life. Let the nipper develop an immune system.

A 3-y-o is more likely to get ill from whatever's in the sea water than from supermarket bacon.

So how often would he need to wash his hands to be acceptable?

You are being unreasonable to think what he did was your choice. I'd have left you to it as well. Let another adult make decisions for themselves.

Bacon isn’t exactly raw meat.

However if you’d said it was raw chicken I’d agree with you.

No they're not - they eat bacon.

Honestly, he has a point.