AIBU to tell my close friend I have feelings?

Good advice...and it's not really friendship now anyway, it's desire.

His mother absolutely knew you would overhear lol. She was smart. 😂

Be really honest with yourself - has he given any indication that he has feelings for you? You can usually pick up how a person feels about you.

Is there a way of testing it out without being too direct.. ie if you are out somewhere and conversation is flowing could you say something along the lines of ‘sometimes I wonder if we should just be done with it and we give it a go’ in a kind of jokey way and see how he reacts? That way oh are not quite bearing your soul but still hinting 🤔

Hmmm my best friend for years got into my 20s and realised I actually loved him more than a friend and decided not to say anything as didn't want to lose our friendship. One day we were at his mum's and while using the bathroom I heard her say "are you ever going to say anything to her and him mumble "I can't or I will lose my best friend to" later that day we were out with some other friends and after eating they wandered next door to a different pub and we stayed at the first and I just burst out "I like you more than a friend" people around us must have thought we had been drinking because he jumped up, came around the table looked straight at me and said omg I've loved you for ever......we've been married for 22 years and 9 kids and I'm still as happy as that day

Yes I'm married to my best friend. We were besties for about a year first. We would drop hints and be flirty with each other though. Does yours ever do that with you? We ended up sleeping together and I figured it was just that and no more but that I was in love with him. One day he was talking about how he can't wait until his wedding day that he'd cry when he saw his bride and I had to walk away because I was going to cry as I really believed it wouldn't be me.
Well one day he blurted out that he loved me out of nowhere and that he wanted it all, marriage, to grow old together. I was so shocked I had a panic attack and cried my eyes out. I told him I loved him too of course and we've been together for 12 years, married 9. He's my absolute bestie still and we never fall out. I adore him.
Go for it OP.

Can you go out for a couple of drinks and flirt and possibly kiss him ?

I am. Because the friendship is going to go down the pan anyway, since every time she doesn’t text me back fast enough / signs messages with one x instead of two / mentions her boyfriend, I feel like I’m 14 years old. This needs to end. It’s completely consuming me.

For context, I filed for divorce from DH a few months ago, in part because I realise that I want to date women - if not her that’s very sad but so be it. There’s a bit of backstory involving this woman and a massive health scare I had, and suddenly seeing her in this way. And I did tell her about seeing myself with women from this point.

So I’m bracing myself for the most awkward of awkward conversations but I don’t see how else to do this.

Oh god really? You’re going to tell her? I’d love to know how it goes. Obviously thought about doing it a hundred times in my dreams but never would

This.

I’m in the same situation as @Bright0nian and will be telling the (surprised, straight afaik!) woman the next time she suggests meeting up etc. It’s not a friendship really if one of you is torturing yourself pining after the person.

Ask him what he thinks of the Taylor Swift song where she sings “my advice is always ruin the friendship, better than to regret it for all time.”

But you won't be the same friends if he doesn't feel the same. How does every poster responding know this...
We've all been there at some time. But you can waste years wondering and never form other relationships because you are waiting for a signal. That's the real down side, not the chance of rejection, the wasted time if yiu fear rejection. If you stay friends and never do anything your future boyfriends will either struggle with your intimacy with him, or you won't have future boyfriends because they will never compare to what you think it would be like with him.
So make the move. Good luck.

Yeah, that's a load of bollocks. Plenty of men are complete rubbish at making a move, myself included. My love life would have been much crapper had I not known a few women significantly braver than me.

I was fine at chatting up a random on a night out, but absolutely god awful at making the first move when it was someone I already knew and liked.

If you like someone, tell them, don't get caught up in some rubbish that it should be the man doing the asking.

Then go for it.

Oh I think you should say something. You won’t be able to make these feelings go away so you may as well find out. He might feel the same way!

I am similar but my friend is a woman and single. Sadly I’m married to a husband.

2nd post by you and yet to tell us if you are both single....

I agree with this. Drop hints and let him make the move. I confessed feelings to a friend 20 years ago and the humiliation of the rejection still haunts me! I learned that if a man hasn't made the move then he doesn't like you like that. Just drop enough hints, flirt etc so that he is clear he's safe to go ahead

Rather than going from friends to telling him, you need to introduce some middle steps! A night out at an atmospheric, more romantic restaurant. Testing the water with little comments. I hope it works out for you :-)

You've left a massive detail out - are you both single?

Assuming you are both single I'd say tell him but be aware that if he's not romantically into you then you'll lose him as a friend. I think though, you probably need that to give you a chance to move on. Otherwise you have his friendship but spend so long investing your time and emotions in him that you never meet anyone else.

It's not really a friendship if you're pining away in the background (or foreground, as it sounds). It's not good for you – it'll be stopping you from finding someone else meaningful and if he gets into a relationship, it will be very hurtful to you.

In the words of Taylor Swift: My advice is to always ruin the friendship, better that than regret it for all time.

It will ruin the friendship. You have romantic feelings for him.

If he's single, say something. If he's not, distance yourself.