I want to get off benefits

He could be paying £5k a month and it wouldn’t impact on the benefits OP is entitled to.

Don't be ashamed. You work full time, and due to wage stagnation and the rising cost of living, a full time wage is not enough to live on. Neither are your fault.

Frankly if you couldn’t cope with social work I doubt teaching is for you. The workload after school is awful and behaviour and expectations from parents and SLT are sending huge numbers out of teaching The money isn’t that great until you’ve been teaching quite a while.

I think you need to change your outlook tbh. You work hard and are raising your children. It's not your fault that wages have not kept pace with housing costs and an honest weeks work is no longer enough to meet your needs. And you shouldn't be embarrassed or made to feel lesser because of that.
The checks the DWP do are necessary to reduce fraud. Complying with them doesn't imply you're guilty of anything.
By all means seek to earn more. But in the meantime, don't feel bad about yourself. You're a self respecting grafter doing the best you can. Take what help you're entitled to. The day will come when your children are grown, your circumstances improve and you'll pay back in, as will your children.

No answers OP but solidarity as I feel the same. Working full time in a managerial position but still receiving UC top ups due to high rent and childcare costs. My claim is being reviewed at the moment too and it's anxiety inducing because without it we'd be screwed.

Ex contributes as little as possible despite the kids living with me full time and is determined to make sure I get as little as possible in the divorce too.

You might find better paid work but you’d then need childcare for school holidays. Contact to popular belief, working in schools isn’t cushy with good holidays, the low salary is because of the long holiday. Lots of people in schools are on UC. You are effectively an unpaid childminder as well as doing your job. I definitely don’t think your dc’s father is paying enough but would that knock out the if if he paid more?

How would a go know if your child lives with you full time. Ridiculous. Better off asking for ab email from the school or nursery.

I think high rents and the lack of social housing is more to blame. I know several people who would be able to manage if they were in LA accommodation at a reasonable rent, but living in an area where it's hard to find a 2-bed property to rent privately means that they can't afford to live without a UC top up.

In my part of the SE, you'd be hard pressed to find a 2-bed property for less than £1,200 a month, while my MIL lives in a 2-bed council house that's £125 a week. A lot of working people wouldn't be eligible for a UC top-up if they were paying that sort of rent.

I'd love to know what proportion of the "benefits bill" goes to private landlords.

You're working full time... therefore imo you're not the problem. The problem is the shitty wages in this country which means working full time doesn't bring in enough money to support a family.

Annoying administrational hoop to jump through. Unfair you’re £50 down. But you don’t need to turn your life upside down right now. With young kids and keeping a house and full time job going, you’re doing well. You’re entitled to that UC top up and don’t feel badly about it. Anyone’s situation can change at any time.

Keep going as you are for now. And explore a new career route if and when it works for you and your family. You’re already working very hard.

Have a look on your local county council website for vacancies, lots of jobs around education, safeguarding, ehcps, etc… you’ll have loads of transferable skills within children’s services and it’s not all at the front line of children’s social work…

It's also (for good teachers) quite long hours/work at home. Not ideal as a single parent with young kids & only really works at all if you are in the same area, with the same holiday dates, as you own kids.

How much more do you need to earn to drop the benefits?

have you asked their Dad to contribute mire? Pay for certain things?

If you’re in a schools safeguarding role there may be ways to progress. Many MATs have safeguarding staff working at a high level, on good salaries. Your social work qualification will open doors for you too in third sector organisations. Not all social work is high tariff statutory work.

This is the side of benefits that people don't appreciate. I'm also stuck on UC top ups (in my case due to having disabled children so working part time) and it's horrible.

I've just recently had my second audit. They can do this at any time randomly and go through 3 months of all accounts in fine detail. Then you get an interview to ask questions about transactions. I appreciate it's needed to stop fraudulent claims but its embarrassing feeling you need to explain spending. I also had to send photo of my face, my passport and me holding my passport.

I've had two audits in two years which were both standard ones (I e. Not due to suspected fraud).

Tact matters.

You are working. So you are not totally reliant. Develop a side hustle business so when kids leave home you can cover your costs?

Oh turn it in, the OP knew exactly what I meant 🙄

The words you are looking for are ‘pay his share’

It’s not help. Language matters.

You're entitled to the benefits - that's why they are there. To support you while the kids are small. The time you waste feeling bad is time you take away from your kids - so stop it.
Life changes. They won't always be small and then you'll be earning and paying more tax.

That’s awful that they made you £50 worse off. A child benefit letter should have been enough imo. Or a child maintenance letter.

I’ve heard in the last few years some people have to take photos of themselves putting the keys in their front doors to prove where they live. I can understand why you want to get out of it. Don’t feel guilty though.

I feel similar. Also earn about £30k but my issue is I don't have the confidence to cope with a better paid job. I'd like to think I'm an intelligent woman but I'm also just a bit pathetic. I hate not being able to better myself and my financial position.

Don't feel guilty, it took me a long time to get out of the benefits system and even now I'm being made redundant again so may be at risk of needing them again if I can't find a job in a tight market or need to take a paycut. People really underestimate how hard it is when you have small children to come out of the system and just how much money you don't have.
I'm looking a starting up my own side hustle to bring in extra money.