I want to get off benefits

Yes, I mentioned that in my original comment. She did say it was going to be slow progress. So a second job is still a good idea. Anyway, she'll figure it out, if she's serious.

She has updated saying she has a better job.

Oh well, she'll just have to figure it out I suppose.

Like I said, she can get a second job. If she's serious. Such is life.

OP said she could not afford £50 for a GP letter. How much do you think moving house costs?

It's good they do compliance checks. You should look at getting a second job or you will have to try hard to get a better paid job if you're serious about changing your situation (I see the job situation has somewhat improved though).

You could also consider moving somewhere cheap to live. I know you will probably immediately dismiss these suggestions and many will pretend they're unreasonable, but they're not.

Your energy is only going to decrease as you get older, so doing something about it right now is your only hope.

Congratulations that’s great news. Well done 👏

Hope the return to school goes well. And your ex has found a conscience

£1750/month for the same in east London - zero insulation, mould, terrible area. And you are stuck forever until landlord will decide to sell.

Shitty wages
Crazy rents
Childcare

Just to add that making CMS payments affecting UC would mean that financially abusive NRP could still continue to have a hold on the RP.

OP - so you gave a Saw degree. When you say you couldn’t do the work, what do you mean? Which team were you in? Was it children’s by any chance? You could go back to social work - there’s so many difffereng teams. Hospital discharge? That’s where I work and I love it (I’m discharge in adult mental health MHSOP)

Because there are so many non-paying NRPs.

it used to be that the RP could only keep £20 a week if they were on benefits. The rest was owed to the Sec of State to go toward the welfare bill.

There ended up being so much money owed to the government it was decided that something had to be done… so they decided that RP’s could keep all of the money that we know is unreliable and often not paid and it would not count as income for benefits.

Previous to that system it was counted as income. My grandparents were calculated as having the £64 a week my father was ordered to pay. He never paid a penny and CSA never got a penny out of him. It left us horrendously poor.

This. It p-s me off to an inordinate degree that my money as a taxpayer gets used here when fathers should be subsidising.
I suppose if the father doesn’t earn much it’s a problem.

I couldn’t agree more. From my perspective you’re doing very well. I spent years on top up benefits due to single parenting a disabled child and always felt inferior because of it, and back then we didn’t have the media pile on directing public opinion in the way it does now.

It wasn’t really until I was finally able to start my own business and do ok with it that I realised that I’d nothing to be ashamed of and in fact the shame is the fault of successive shitty govts failure to manage the country for the benefit of normal people.
There is still a culture of exceptionalism here - as in rich people think they’re rich because they worked hard, and that then infects people like us who think we’re not earning ‘enough’ and it must be our fault. It isn’t always the case.

But you must know how much an absent parent pays is based upon their earnings.

OP, schools generally subscribe to an employee assistance service. Give them a ring and see if there's maybe some sort of counselling you can access?

You seem like a pretty together person raising three children in a difficult situation and doing a challenging job. Now you just need to believe it yourself!

I recently got an academic contract that said a PhD was essential. It wasn't. No-one even mentioned it...

I want to come off benefits.

My child is now 16 and is going to college, and I have worked all my life, working both full-time and part-time hours. I have been receiving UC for 7.5 years and I feel it's time to try and get off them.

I currently work 25 hours a week in a job I have had for years, so i'm stable in a job I enjoy, but they haven't got anymore hours to give me.

My shift patterns make it a bit difficult to find a suitable second job to help top up my hours. I was offered a second job recently, but because I work 1 in 4 Saturdays, they couldn't work around it, so I couldnt take it. I don't want to leave my main job I have because I feel safe and comfortable there. Its local and i know the job, but I just feel so trapped in a part time role and its making me feel quite sad and depressed. I worry i'm going to have to find a full-time job else where in the next few years, so I've been stressing myself out trying to find a second job.

My biggest struggle is that it took me years to gain my confidence back after bad relationships, bullying, and just being a single parent raising my kid and I am now confident in my abilities at work and believe in myself, but I worry I will regret leaving for another job and then it not working out and I lose everything.

I want to come off UC, so i can move forward with my life and save more money, because it would be great to be self sufficient again. Is anyone else in a similar situation?

This is high key not your fault.

By all means, look for another job with better pay. Try to improve your circumstances. But do not feel guilty about using a system you pay into. You will pay it back tenfold over your working life.

This!!

My rent is 1400pcm for a 3 bed mid terrace in pretty poor condition. There's literally nothing cheaper here. If I could rent a social housing property in the same area i'd be looking at 550 max. I could pay that in full without any assistance from UC. It's mad.

I think op you're likely selling yourself short. I have applied for lots of jobs where I've looked at parts of the description and thought oooof that would be a learning curve but in reality it's fine and if you work hard and are motivated you'll learn on the job. Most places expect to do some level of training for new staff as well. I think a bit of career guidance/ mentoring and maybe some counselling or similar to boost your confidence would serve you really well. I have worked in safeguarding related posts for a long time and honestly it's not as daunting as it sounds, the key is being passionate about it. "Would I be happy leaving my child in this situation - if not then what's missing" type of attitude. That's the only part you can't train into someone.

…reading the job descriptions I feel it’s completely above me!

That’s your lack of belief in yourself and your abilities again!

Can you analyse why you think like this? What needs to happen for you to gain the qualities and knowledge this job requires? Is it a matter of studying informally or gaining additional/formal qualifications - or is it possible that you just need to reframe your existing qualifications and job experience to fit with such a job?

Please try and find a way of enhancing your self esteem and talking yourself up instead of down! Could you perhaps find a mentor?

I respect your attitude OP. Property prices and frozen tax thresholds have gotten us to this ridiculous point where someone working full time requires a leg up from the state. Property prices is a complex subject but it seems nuts to me that you pay income tax yet receive in work state benefits.

Its easier said than done, but the only answer really is to earn more. Don't under-sale yourself and don't think jobs are above you. Get your foot in the door and fake it until you make it.