AIBU to ask my mum to stop WhatsApping baby photos?

If you share pictures with her on your own private WhatsApp chat then turn on Advanced Chat Privacy. It means that she will be unable to share the photos with others.

@embroideredpanda - you do not have terrible judgement - please don’t think that!

Don't let all the people who are unaware of the risk of people having images of your child get to you. You're well within your rights and it is a valid concern.

Just because your mum knows someone doesn't mean they REALLY know someone. With AI these days, all sorts of sordid things can happen.

OP, have words with your mother but be aware she will likely try to hide from you in future and still do it.

Whether or not as a society in general we should be concerned about taking and sharing images of children on social media is not really the issue some folks on here are taking sides on. Nor is the fact that you feel you were neglected to some extent by your parents as a child. The issue is that your DM is brushing off your concerns and blatantly acting against your wishes concerning YOUR child. Time for a showdown. Tell her in no uncertain terms that it has to STOP. Or else. The ‘or else’ is up to you to lay down.

It’s up to you if you don’t want photos of your baby on any social media - if your mother won’t resoect your wishes, don’t send her any photos and don’t allow her to take any photos either. Tell her it’s not up for discussion. Your baby, your rules!

Not sure i've been asked for consent when pics of my kids taking part in public events have appeared in newspapers. Not that i mind

Same here!

Possibly. Having a psycho mother, being in care and bounced around foster homes will do that.
My eldest half sister had so many issues with our late mother, she was forced to no contact; made sure mum never knew the gender or name of her child and told mum tj FO when she was dying (self inflicted with substances abuses). My half-niece has never even seen a photo of her evil grandmother, as our middle sister removed them from all family photos and burned them.
Some parents deserve to be cut off permanently.

I only have pictures that my son or daughter in law send me. I do not take them myself as I don't see the children often due to distance. None of my extended family get to see them unless I show them in person off my phone like people used to do with a photo!
I come from a difficult family set up and I am happy to do this to protect the children. I have had pictures of me as a child used and shared for purposes that I am not comfortable with so always ask the parents permission first as a matter of courtesy. It's a privilege to be sent the pictures in the first place not the right of a grandparent to see, have and share them.
Stand your ground on this and only do what you feel comfortable with because once pictures are out there you can't get them back or know who else will access them

Oh ffs you sound totally unhinged !!

If she refuses to stop, threaten to report her to the police for malicious communication or similar.
Even if they don't actually do anything, the threat alone may stop a 'obsessively over sharing' grandparent from doing so.
Or go nuclear and threaten no contact with her if they don't bloody stop.
You see mad cases in the USA, were insane grandmothers with 'baby rabies' overshare all the time and think of the ''grandbabies' are there property etc.
Nightmares for the mother/parents 😑
(I really hate that term 'grandbabies' , and them even using it on six year olds 🤦)

But these are distant family friends that OP's mum is sending the photos to, not close family members and she is deliberately going against OP's stated wishes.

It may seem to many posters that OP has taken an extreme stance on her child's right to privacy but her experience of CSA from the age of 5 to 13 when her mum suspected that this was going on but neither of her parents stopped it or protected her will have had a massive negative impact on OP. After failing to protect her own daughter from CSA, surely her mother can just do as OP asks and not send photos of OP's baby to other people. This would be a small way of her making amends to OP.

I love being able to share photos with family and close friends in USA, Canada, Australia, France and the Netherlands. I don't do it ad nauseam, maybe once a year at Christmas. People are all over the world these days and no-one sends photos by snail-mail due to the cost of postage. Up to the poster what she does, but she needs to clear things up for her mother regarding what happened in her childhood and how this has affected her attitude towards her sending photos.

Saying no to a grandparent taking their GC in the car without a car seat - absolutely

Saying no to GP feeding two year old DGC whole grapes - absolutely

Saying no to a relative asking for a photo of the new addition to their family, because they're unable to visit - mean, and batshit crazy.

Some people really don’t like to be told no do they! Just because you don’t agree with it changes nothing. NO means NO.

Just checking that I understand, your mother is sharing pictures of her grandchild with family and friends on WhatsApp, not Instagram etc? I honestly can't see a problem

WhatsApp isn't social media. It's a messaging app.

Having said that, if you don't want your mother sharing photos with her friends then don't send her any.

Exactly this ! We were given so many rules about our grandchildren we don't make much of an effort. No kissing no hugging. Told off for sending pictures to great grandfather who lives too far away to visit etc etc. List is ridiculously long

well you know the answer is not to send any photos to your mum, don't you?

People can screen dump from whatsapp

Frankly, I wouldn't be sending them photos to pass along at all, hearing that. I'd either cut them off, or distance myself significantly and keep their access to my children tightly controlled. That kind of negativity and reminder of trauma isn't something I'd want in my life.

My sympathies, OP.

I guess the time will come where we all go out with masks and cloaks on in case CCTV sees us or our children and someone somewhere see the images. Perhaps we should all just go into lockdown again

Hilarious!

This post is batshit. Babies and small children can't consent to loads of things (although DS strongly disagrees with things like nappy changes or having his breakfast, judging from the wailing.)

Most of what you're describing is parenting. I'm the one feeding my child, until he can buy his own food I'm going to decide what he eats, the same with drinks (water,) he can't go anywhere by himself yet, so I'm 'controlling' what he does, and as soon as he can talk I'll be teaching him to say please and thank you.

He's going to be exposed to opposing views, no matter what I think about those views, because I do want him to think for himself. I like to see what the other side is saying. (Usually nothing good.)

And no, I don't want people sharing pictures of him online. I don't share pictures of him online either. OP is well within her rights to ask people not to.