AIBU to try to help my wife lose weight? Somehow.

Agree. OPs wife needs something to stop the pain in the meantime so she can excersise if she wants to. This does not seem to have occured to him.

But he isn't her GP and in fact has no idea if it's definitely what is causing the issues. I agree, it's very likely to be one contributing factor but if he is genuinely concerned about her joints or mobility then his focus should be on encouraging her to see a doctor, who can discuss the many, many things that can cause joint pain, including weight.
Instead though he's just focussing on her weight. He didn't ask about pain relief, ways to reduce inflammation, how to encourage her to see a medical professional. Just how to make her lose weight.
His contrasting responses to the suggestions of therapy or WLI spoke volumes too. Therapy would take too long and be doomed to failure but pushing prescription medication (which I'm on myself so not anti) on someone who appears to have expressed no interest in it herself got a thumbs up.

You come across as a person that would cut-off their nose to spite their face!

Because you come across as smug and self-righteous and extremely irritating? Eating cream cakes in your face would wind you up delightfully!

You haven't answered my initial question as to whether you love your wife, cherish her, find her desirable? None of your responses so far suggest any of these things. Of course, it may well be that she deliberately retains the weight so that you don't find her desirable.........🤭

Good point! I hadn’t thought about WW doing that, but of course they have been to save their business!

Too much weight on your bones causes pain. I’m pretty sure if she was running marathons OP wouldn’t be suggesting the pain is from excessive weight. To OP it’s obviously her size that’s affecting her wellbeing.

At one o five you posted this

Because it's fucking ridiculous. If the topic of healthy eating is verboten to discuss then I can hardly take over the bloody shopping and cooking and cut out all the unhealthy stuff.
Yes, clearly if I took totally control of what DW eats at home that would help her (and would really help me because I wouldn't be tormented by crisps and chocolate in the house.) How do you think that would go down?

Nowhere does it say that she isnt willing to let you.

No thats the first time you have said that she isnt willing to let you

Because one of the reasons women overeat is as a stress response, another is to self soothe.

Nothing has me dashing to the fridge faster than a discussion about weight loss, even when I completely agree with them.

And there's the defensiveness as well - "I'll show them what I think of their meddling!"

It's perfectly understandable. She knows she's in pain, she knows she's judged, she knows everyone is internally criticising her. We fat people know that we're fat. It's very distressing.

The trouble is, the thing that helps us calm down is more food. The more attacked or criticised we feel, the stronger the urge to eat.

Be compassionate. Praise her (admittedly futile) efforts with WW, offer to support her and make it less difficult with the weight loss jabs, and try swapping out some of the higher calorie snacks.

I've been fat all my life. Losing 3 1/2 stone made my joint pain SO much better. Thank goodness for the injections.

Just be aware that there is no way on earth that Weight watchers will ever promote weight loss injections. It's going to be the death of their business. So you could find she has already heard lots of doom and gloom about them from the people there. "My sister's friends auntie ended up in A&E" type stories. I would suggest doing some proper research so you can say "I've done a bit of reading about them today and I think it's worth having a proper look before dismissing them.
There are plenty of threads on here where the doom-mongers try and argue against them and plenty of posters pointing to reputable research. Ultimately, the risks of taking them as long as it's done sensibly with medical advice, are far less surely than the known risks of being so obese she needs a mobility scooter.

YOU explain why you wont answer questions about you doing more of the shopping and cooking.

Not living in a society awash with UPF that mess up our bodies and our regulatory systems. Some of it can barely be accurately described as food.

If people from that era were around now, they'd be the same as we are. The food industry has completely screwed us up.

I don’t mean to be horrid, but obese (well morbidly obese to be accurate) isn’t attractive on anyone.

But I believe OP love’s his wife (and may or may not find her currently attractive) and actually is concerned about her health and mobility. That’s his main concern. He wants her to lose the weight, and I’m sure everyone in his position would want the same.

Many men leave their wives when they’ve gained a great deal of weight and can’t see past not being attractive to them anymore, obviously they never loved them enough. OP is not like this.

The fact this is all you respond to shows you don't love your wife. I doubt you even care about her health you just don't want to have to do everything in the household she does.

Your avoidance of even knowing what height or weight she is just so you can judge her is pathetic.

FWIW to anyone agreeing with him, I'm 168cm, to lose 1kg a week of fat I would need to eat 1100kcals a day. Nutracheck even tells you not to do that. According to @Notsosweetcaroline I'm obese.

ETA and I'm not even peri menopausal yet.

Has a doctor actually told her that she's likely to end up disabled? Or is that purely your diagnosis? Her weight may well be affecting her joints, obviously it's hard for any of us to even guess at that given you can't say if her BMI is more like 30 or 50+. Equally as has been pointed out peri- or menopause may be affecting them, as it does for many women. Or it may be something else altogther.
You seem incredibly fixated on her weight specifically though, rather than on joint pain, without apparently knowing if the two are linked. That won't come as a surprise to any overweight woman who's ever seen a GP about pretty much anything, but it's interesting that you came here to ask about how to help her reduce her weight rather than how to help her with joint pain.

“Currently I think she must feel that she is totally unattractive to you, so why should she bother?

To avoid ending up disabled and /or a myriad of other serious and painful problems?”

Well, I could be wrong. But my hunch is that if she did come to that conclusion, in a context where she does not feel loved, cherished or appreciated in any way, then her lifestyle change could well involve a decision to reinvent herself as a single woman.

Can you answer my post then?