AIBU to try to help my wife lose weight? Somehow.

'handicapped'?!

What? That he wants his wife to be healthy? Are you for real?

I’m sure this is what wi happen eventually. His wife will realise the kind of man she is married to.

Double standerds again on MN.

Your wife is attending WW so thats a start that she knows there's an issue. If you can't take over shopping or cooking can you request a no junk food rule in the house to help YOU resist overeating? I can't have chocolate, crisps or biscuits in my house because I will mindlessly graze on an evening in front of the telly.

Also agree on the invites for a walk.

However please don't do what a PP said and stage a family intervention using your daughter. Please don't involve your daughter at all. Xx

Also don't keep banging on about her weight, just make changes in the spirit of your own weight loss journey without it being seperate from hers. I'm sure you can take over cooking a couple of nights a week or maybe set up online shopping so you can have some control?

Yep, his attitude stinks

@HelpMeHelpMyWife it’s very worrying for you all that her weight is causing her mobility issues at such a young age (yes 51 is still young).

Why has the doctor not offered the jabs? This stops the hunger noises and reduces the need to eat so much. Suggest she asks to try these.

I’m not overweight but I do eat a lot of ‘junk’ if it’s in the house. I just have no willpower. Remove all junk food from the house!

I had a morbidly obese mother, and I think I pandered to her too much that the weight wasn’t an issue (never discussed). Looking back, I should have made her do a great deal more for herself to remain more active. Even getting up to get her own cup of tea, making her own lunch etc… she would probably have consumed a lot less if she had to get it herself! Her bones were really affected by the weight, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Weight watchers should be working with she’s following it correctly unless there’s an underlying medical issue. She could speak to the doctor about this.

There’s still time to get this sorted and you’re right to try now, as in 10 years time she may be unable to walk at all.

Best of luck!

If this actually true and not made up I think the best way for your wife to lose unwanted weight would be an appointment with a divorce solicitor.
I’m sure it would really help her longterm health and happiness.

I don't disagree with what you have written, if my husband was overweight I'd absolutely tell him to do something about it, and I'd expect him to do the same to me if I was too. You aren't wrong to tell her, I guess the best thing you can do is be supportive, cook healthy meals (my husband does the food shopping and all cooking, we eat very healthy as a result), go out for evening walks together now the evenings are lighter, I guess change your lifestyle together in a way (I realise you probably already have having already lost weight). I guess going more from a supportive angle rather than saying you are fat and heading to an early grave via a mobility scooter! I'd leave your daughter out of it though, it isn't her problem to help solve. I guess the biggest step to losing weight is actually wanting to do it and having the drive/willpower to stick to overhauling bad habits built over many years. Also it isn't easy to lose weight at 51, there's a lot going on around then with menopause, if it was easy no one would be overweight in the first place besides.

Good idea! @HelpMeHelpMyWife Why can’t you cook some of the dinners?

At least you are admitting you have no intention of trying to make your wife's workload any lighter. Just complain.

WW won't tell her about drugs, because that's not their thing.

To get weight loss drugs on the NHS you need to fulfill certain criteria. you can also pay for them.

Do you and your wife have a good relationship aside from this issue?

Please do not involve your daughter in this, it is not a good idea.

Overeating is a serious issue (one I suffer from!) there are various options aside from drugs. Some people go for Overeaters Anonymous. I did not find it helpful.

If your wife is not willing to face the issue, I am not sure what else you can do. It's likely that overeating does have some issues rooted in experiences/mental health etc. mine was first caused by OCD.

OP, you can absolutely say you want to cook 3-4 nights/7, that you'd like to do a joint online food order so you can plan for your 3/4 nights of cooking, and whatever, you're going to do the lion's share of post cooking clean up.

So aggressive.

I might have missed a message cause what I did read didn't clearly come across that you've had genuine conversation about health and future. I did notice mentioning it, but to me mentioning and conversation are different things. If you have come at it from health and her future with kids and grandkids, offered to take over cooking and shopping, asked about her mental health, suggested doctor and therapy. Then that is all you can do. She knows what she should do. No need to bring it up anymore.just be there in case she wants to have a change but don't give up on her. Keep asking if she wants to go to the cool waling path or try badminton or come for a swim but accept her answer

The instructions in the box literally tell you to change your lifestyle:
Mounjaro is also used together with reduced-calorie diet and increased physical activity for weight loss and to help keep the weight under control in adults

If you chose to ignore that, good for you but it's irresponsible of you to tell others to do so.

Are you going to take on the responsibility of online shop order, menu planning and shared cooking and clean up for the whole family?

No you shouldn't do that again. You are looking at this from completely the wrong angle. You cannot change someone else. You can only change yourself.

Stop trying to change her. She doesn't need you to tell her anything, she knows it already. She has made her choice.

You need to focus on yourself and what changes you can make to yourself to be happier in your life.

How much overweight is she? Does she need to lose 3 stones like you did or is it more ?

My DH lost 10kg without being told he was going on a diet - I just changed our menus. Maybe take over the family catering?

My suggestion would be to say to her you’re worried she’s heading for a premature death and you really don’t want to lose her. That’s what my friend’s wife said to him about his drinking, and he did reduce it. It might be a bit near the knuckle though. YANBU.