AIBU to discourage uni for daughter, I'm worried about debt without career plan?

It's her decision but a lot of 18 year olds don't seem to appreciate that this is a loan that they, not mum and dad, will be paying for decades.
Perhaps you need to sit and have a discussion about the different options and the career implications.

1. Degree at home based uni. Less debt because no maintenance but you still have to pay off tuition fees.
2. Degree away from home More independance but possibly a much bigger student debt.
3. Don't go to uni - either find an alternative path into work, work for a charity for a year or defer until you really know what you want to do and what degree you need. Or get a job and apply later to offset some of the cost.
4. Find an apprenticeship or industrial sponsorship.

I get this.
I'm a teacher who helps lots of kids get into uni, but whereas it used to be pretty much all of them, now a number are thinking of other options.

I went to uni. Dh didn't. It feels wrong to be the first in my fault to go to uni and then deny the dc the chance. But where I live, many people earn v well without degrees. Having said that, much of it is because of male dominated industries that require engineers- and my dc do not veer that way.

The holy grail is a degree apprenticeship- but you need at least a vague career plan for that. Dc1 wants to do an academic subject with theoretically lots of career options, but he'll need to be more career savvy (unlike i was) if he doesn't end up teaching it. Dc2 is at the stage where being a dr is the thing to say. But I'm not convinced.

Ds graduated last year. He had a paid internship each long vacation, then another one immediately after graduating, and is now working. I’m 56 and he’s already paid more than me. So I’m a fan of university. The graduate job market is tough but so is the school leavers job market. Your dd doesn’t have a plan for that either, presumably. I would definitely encourage her to study if that’s what she loves and is good at.

One of ds’s friends is not working after graduating, he’s travelling at the moment. He did a non graduate job for a while to earn some money for travelling, and can go back to that. This all seems completely normal to me. Apart from him, every single child I know who graduated last year/this year is working and doing fine.

Admittedly ds did a degree which most people would see as having a strong employment path, but not according to the more clickbaity articles in the media. Remember that in an unbelievably competitive market, the media sell anger and worry, not reassurance.

It will be her debt, so her choice.

As long as I had sat down with her and clearly explained how the current system works, and she understood that even if she doesn’t earn enough to trigger the repayments the interest will continue to accrue, then it really is up to her.

Will you have to help with finances? Does she have any plans other than uni?

Honestly, DO NOT GET INVOLVED.

If her life goes pear shaped, it will be ALL YOUR FAULT.

I know it’s hard but it’s her life, her future, her debt. Just be supportive in the background.

DD chose the wrong uni. I knew it, and made some gentle suggestions, but she had to choose herself.

It’s part of letting them go…

And universities know this - the support on offer is specifically tailored to help students explore their career options.

I’d encourage her to take a year or two to work and save up. I wouldn’t discourage university but it does need to be an informed choice and I’d ideally be wanting to find out what reforms the government are going to make to student loans first.

The deductions are a lot of money each month and the repayment threshold is so low! She needs to know that the student loan deductions won’t stop her from being able to afford to rent a basic one bed flat on a full time minimum wage - right now, that’s very difficult. Rents are high, wages are low, graduate jobs are harder to get, food prices are increasing, so is council tax, energy bills, petrol, etc.

I was told the student loan deductions wouldn’t be noticeable because I’d be earning enough money for it to not be a big deal. Like a phone contract coming out of my wage each month I was told. Wrong! I definitely notice them and I need that bloody money because although I’m earning more, the housing and cost of living crisis means I can’t afford to save, can’t afford holidays, etc. I don’t have the financial stability I was told a university education and professional job would provide me with.

I am a university lecturer. Students like your DD who are academic and live learning get so much out of their degrees! It’s not just about the subject, it’s about the skills you learn which are highly transferable. Bright, motivated students also find their own opportunities and generally do really well afterwards.

Students who go to uni on auto pilot get a lot less out of their degrees ime, and I would def encourage someone in that position to think again.

I agree with this. Figuring out what they want to do while at uni is very common.

I’d say just make her aware of the ridiculous interest rates on loans etc. and also present her with some good alternatives but then let her make her own decision.

I graduated when loans were a lot less but personally I’d have went regardless. I went to a great uni, had amazing experiences, met people from all over the world and made several friends for life.

The problem is if she doesn’t go, apart from her missing out on a great learning environment and what can be an amazing life experience - it may hinder her ability to apply for as many jobs.

So many jobs require a degree as a minimum even if it’s not relevant to that particular job . If she doesn’t know what she wants to do know an apprenticeship probably isn’t an option.

OR can she take a year out and work, spend the time saving money and figuring out if she has an idea of what kind of subject she would like. She could try some free online short courses in things she is interested in.

@AgentPidge that simply isn’t true, you can go into the CS at any grade without a degree, I’ve just hired an SEO without a degree. I work with G6s without degrees. It’s actually an excellent example of a career path with lots of opportunities WITHOUT requiring a degree.

I understand this. We would struggle to support two at Uni (all the parents I know pay for accommodation and living expenses on top of the loan) so it is not just their debt.
Year out with them earning some money would help solve this for us.

What does she want to study?

Can you, or her careers advisors, try to narrow down what she'd like to do as a career? Which would give her more of an idea of paths towards it.
If a degree wouldn't help, she could study for fun, in the evening; there are plenty of free options.
But ultimately, if she's academic and wants to go, I think it would be really unfair and short-sighted to stand in her way.
I was in her position and wasn't able to go. It's held me back most of my working life. For example, I joined the Civil Service as a Clerical Assistant but with a degree I'd have been able to go in as an Executive Officer (better pay, career progression etc). FIL (in the fashion trade) would only take on graduates. He took on a Zoology graduate as a buyer!
Bottom line - do your research.

So what will she do instead?
If someone is academic and loves learning then university is still a good option. She’ll have the opportunity to explore her career options while she’s there with all the support and resources in place.
Degree apprenticeships are for those with clear career plans. University is a better option for those who are unsure.

The biggest attraction of uni for many, is the moving away from home part!

My parents discouraged me to go to uni due to debt in the noughties (when fees were £3k) and it was awful. They made me feel unsupported, unmotivated and I went anyway, but our relationship never recovered

came to see how you encourage a 18 year old to do anything? 🤣

My DD17 is starting Uni in September with no clear career path. I've been 100% encouraging of her decision to go. She has the opportunity to spend 3/4 years immersing herself in doing what she loves, she can move away from home to an amazing city, it's the next stage of her growing up, she'll grow as a person and gain a lot of friends, life skills and more independence, which she's so ready for... Plus if she can delay entering the workplace for a few years then why not. She won't get this chance again. Once she's working, that's it for the rest of her life. She doesn't know what she wants to do afterwards but it'll become clear I'm sure. She certainly wouldn't know what she wants to do right now if she didn't go to uni.

Yes there will be debt but it's more like a tax. I got it free too, but the benefits from going to uni are huge and not just limited to a career path. Some people are skilled, some have a vocation, some are academic. I was always academic and while I'm in a senior level high paying job, it's nothing to do with my degree

I understand OP, it’s all very well saying it’s not your debt, but you’re likely going to have to spend thousands of pounds supporting her for 3+ years and it’s perfectly reasonable to want that money to be an investment above and beyond just “enrichment”. Yes in a perfect world we’d educate people for as long as they want, but most families don’t have endless amounts of money to do so blindly.

I would be very reluctant to support my children through university without some kind of plan.

For me it is not about the career opportunities. DS1 is very academic and is going to spend three years at Oxbridge doing a creative subject he loves, surrounded by people who also love it, this is absolutely the best course for him to take in life, he will never have another opportunity like it, even though it is unlikely he will end up working in that sector. DS2 currently wants to do a much more career related subject, which he will get some funding for - it is also his passion. Of course I am pleased that he has this funding and career path but if he changes his mind in the next two years and wants to do something else, I wouldn't discourage him. Life is about more than a career plan from the age of 18.

I recommend courses while living at home. The cost of living away is the biggest expense.

She’a bright and wants to go. You should support that decision. I am open either way for my DC.

I have 2 at uni, both on masters courses.
Both plan to have careers in the areas they are studying. The best way to for DS2 to get the job he wants in 4yrs, is to get a job (voluntary if necessary) in the field he’s interested in to make his CV look better than his peers. Job at Asda won’t help.
I know 2 people whose kids have got jobs as a solicitor and a clinical psychologist in the year they completed their degrees (2025)
I think if you want the uni experience it’s not worth the debt. If it’s the best way to get the job you want then it is.