Partners family have a habit of not saying goodbye

If I have a long drive I want to head off as soon as possible. I want to get ahead of the traffic and leave myself a good portion of the day at home to decompress before heading to work the day after. Some of us despite loving our family members need to rest or recharge after events like this.

There’s no way I’d enter an adults bedroom to wake them unless it was an emergency. I’d feel so uncomfortable if I found a friend or relative in my room just to say goodbye. Whilst id be a tad confused in your situation as you’d already had plans for the day I would much prefer a note rather than being woken up.

I’d be tempted to message and just say something like. I hope everything is ok, we were a bit worried with you leaving in such a hurry. If they stay again I’d also be saying to them will you be here when we get up in the morning or shall we say goodbye now.

Wouldn’t bother me. Sometimes we pretend we have to get back for something as we have friends that don’t want us to leave and we end up staying longer than I want to.

Don't see the problem but, your baby is in his own room already?!

Yanbu op, I think that's really weird and rude! They should at least have waited till you got up, and given you had plans I think they should have stayed for the breakfast and seeing your mum. It's really rude to leave early without a discussion and especially rude to sneak out! I wouldn't invite them again.

I think it is weird. Any possibility they thought they would have to offer to pay for everyone’s breakfast as you had cooked and hosted? Maybe they were avoiding that.

That's totally understandable!

Unfortunately though it's not going to change/help anything! All you can do really is be there for him & your relationship will be his rock, not his extended family. It is hard to feel let down by extended family when a much loved parent dies.

Ah apologies, I thought the Dad was there who normally does it….In which case it’s a one off and because they couldn’t sleep.

I wouldn’t take it personally or get upset over it, but yes we’re all different.

Perhaps DH is over sensitive because it’s something his Dad makes a habit of doing.

Same.

Almost every one of OP's posts are all about her and what she wouldn't/wouldn't do etc.

People are different and when you add in that they got no sleep, leaving a note and going without waking them should be understandable to anyone, no matter what you are or aren't like yourself.

If both Dad and his sisters have this habit, it seems like there might be more of a family link about it. Are they all insomniacs? Do they have OCD about using strange bathrooms? Are they all a bit anxious? I’d be looking for some personality traits or background that could explain this! My assumption would be they all don’t feel comfortable in other people’s homes. I guess the aunts couldn’t sleep, waited 5 hours (I’m guessing this is 3am summer time) which is a long time in the night and then felt in desperate need to go home.
Of course it would be nicer if they’d stayed to say goodbye, but I sense there might be some social awkwardness here on their part??
Overall I’d be a bit surprised/disappointed but you have learned about the aunts for the future and won’t be surprised next time!

It sounds like it’s just their ways of doing things. And they left a note. I wouldn’t be annoyed.

I wouldn’t have wanted to knock on your door and wake you up TBF. What if you’d been shagging? A polite note and a quick escape far better.

Bit odd that they knew you’d arranged/ suggested something for breakfast but maybe they just felt too rough after a bad night’s sleep and thought it didn’t matter that much as you (I think) hadn’t booked and paid or anything.

I wouldn’t say it’s rude, more a bit odd if it’s something they make a habit of doing like you say….but out of interest if it’s usual they do this then why did you bother making plans for breakfast and them meeting your Mum?

Is it normally the same reason for them leaving early?

If I had been up since 3am I wouldn’t want to be going out for breakfast, socialising and then having a long drive home after either.

I would actually much prefer guests to leave early and a note than a long drawn out goodbye or waiting for guests to leave, that’s the worst!

Okay your update that you had plans that day and they weren’t planning to leave first thing does change things and makes it stranger that they cut the visit short.
If the driver was really tired they could have perhaps missed the breakfast and had a nap or worked something else out.

And yes them actually knowing that it upsets your DH when his dad does this makes it stranger. Perhaps that’s why they left the note.. it does seem unusual behaviour.

Ahhh, more info has been added since I replied.
If you had made arrangements to go out for breakfast, and if it had been arranged for your mum to come over and spend time with your aunts, then Yes, I do think it's weird they altered all the plans and left early.