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Neighbour and my child’s autistic meltdowns

105 replies

acaciafinch · 29/03/2026 13:33

I am growing quite concerned about my neighbours due to my child’s meltdowns especially with summer coming and people being out in their garden more and windows being open.
My dd is prone to meltdowns after school and has always done this but it’s got worse recently recently they have taken on a more colourful tone where she will continuously shout and scream swear words at the top of her voice and absolutely nothing will stop her.

I was already concerned about her meltdowns upsetting neighbours in the summer but now I imagine the neighbours will soon be complaining about the language to the housing association and our family being evicted.

There has not been any complaints to my knowledge yet but with summer approaching I am worried.

I cannot stop these meltdowns or the language and I know the neighbours have a right to live in peace and relax in their garden or have visitors in the garden without having to hear her.
I don’t want to be evicted either because then she’ll still have the disability but we’ll be homeless too and we have other children but It feels like it’s going to be inevitable.
Our back garden backs onto another road and so it’s not just immediate neighbours it’s the whole area and so people are bound to make complains hearing screaming and swearing regularly, she repeats fuck over and over with every breath until she comes out of the meltdown which can be 15-30 minutes several times a day.

OP posts:
NobodysChildNow · 29/03/2026 13:49

I think your fear of complaints is rational - I have a young child and I wouldn’t want him to hear another young child screaming obscenities for 15 minutes or more.

Can’t you just keep the windows home after school? Since the timing of the meltdowns appears to be quite predictable. Could you also play really loud music at the same time? I’d rather hear 15 minutes of music than 15’ minutes of someone screaming and shouting the F word.

Octavia64 · 29/03/2026 13:43

Possible courses of action:

try to keep her inside more
write a note and pop it through letterboxes

how audible is your garden from other prole’s gardens? Tall fences and hedges etc can really stop sound.

Pearlstillsinging · 29/03/2026 13:42

Does you DD have a diagnosis? Or an EHCP/attend a specialist school or unit? If so she and you fall under the auspices of the Equality Act 2010 and any attempt to evict you would be discrimination, she has a disability and you are a carer, as are other family members.

I would consider talking to the Housing Association about your concerns and would advise talking to your immediate neighbours. You can explain that this is likely to be a phase she will grow out of, as she gets older. Do you have any outside support, maybe respite care?

acaciafinch · 29/03/2026 13:41

plims · 29/03/2026 13:35

Can you get ahead of the issue by going and speaking to your neighbours first. People are more likely to be understanding if they’re fully aware of what’s happening

I have spoken to immediate neighbours because we know them but it’s the people over the back who’s gardens all back onto our roads gardens and side roads, we live in a cul de sac with roads all around.
I don’t know any of them in those roads.

OP posts:
plims · 29/03/2026 13:35

Can you get ahead of the issue by going and speaking to your neighbours first. People are more likely to be understanding if they’re fully aware of what’s happening