Neighbour and my child’s autistic meltdowns

This would be funny if it wasn't so stupid and unhelpful. Wrestle a lot of melting down 8 year old do you?

Hope you're never neighbour to a disabled little child and their stressed but considerate parent.

What do you think you're contributing here? I'm sincerely curious.

Did you grow up in an Enid Blyton book?

You're really horrible. Children hear profanity at school, yes even primary school. That's where I learned of the C word and other profanity. I grew up in a very religious household and had never heard of swear words before I attended primary school. So stop accusing the OP for this.

As for your judgement of a child who very likely has Tourette's Syndrome - shame on you.

Parents of autistic children with Tourette's syndrome, like myself do not need your nasty judgmental attitudes.

Tourette's is quite common in autistic people, my daughter has both.

Your DD is masking all day at school and it all gets unleashed when she's in her safe space at home. A lot of parents of autistic children home educate, as it vastly reduces the meltdowns caused by masking at school.

You don't need to be a teacher, you can use an informal approach, such as child-led learning. You don't have to sit around a table to recreate school at home, it's usually better not to with many children.

I highly recommend it, any questions, feel free to ask.

Spot on😁

I have a 7 year old who has suspected Autism and ADHD. When she is overwhelmed and having a meltdown she gets unbelievable strength. She's in fight mood. I'm a lot bigger than her but is almost impossible to move her. She can be very aggressive. If you try to lift her or try to move her she will make her body a dead weight or fight. Honestly, it's easy to say move her to a room and close the door and the windows. Realistically, the best thing you can do is remove everyone else from the area to keep them safe and stay as calm and quiet as possible. Shouting doesn't help. Consequences don't help. My daughter doesn't hear me or understand when she's like that. The only thing that helps is keeping her safe and loving her in calmly in that moment.

You can only control what you can control. I'd pop a note into the neighbours.
Dear Neighbours,I just wanted to let you know that my daughter is autistic and sometimes struggles with emotional regulation.When she becomes overwhelmed, she may shout or use inappropriate language.We are supporting her and working on this, but there may be times when you hear colorful language especially as the weather gets warmer and everyone has their windows open more. I apologise for any upset this may cause and appreciate your understanding.
Kind regards,

When she has a meltdown she gets put in one of the bedrooms with the windows closed and door shut. When she stops she can come back out. Noise will be quieter for neighbours then.

Did you think repeating the OP's concerns back to her was going to add anything useful?

As has been stated several times kids learn this at SCHOOL. The op cant keep her child in all the time and if she starts having a meltdown outside its pretty impossible to move them. It also sounds like her child possibly has some kind of tic disorder, maybe tourettes.

My child has touretes including coprolalia too. I cant keep him inside/away from other children. He isolated enough already. It is what it is, if he swears when we are out we just ignore it a anything else will make it worse. You as parent need to educate your own children on WHY some people/children may behave differently. Perhaps go do some research and educate yourself so you can be less judgemental.

Could you write a couple of cards, not apologizing, just explaining and pop them through the doors of people who back on to you?
I'm ashamed to say that many years (20+), we had new neighbours and the teenage son would stand in the garden screaming abuse at anything that caught his eye - birds, a passing car, my dog innocently sniffing in our garden.
I was outraged - looking back now, I can almost laugh at my 'hoiking up my pants' attitude.
But I got talking to his dad one day, and yes, he had tourettes, a vastly under recognized condition at the time.
Because we knew, we were far more relaxed and accepting of it. My late husband took him fishing in numerous occasions, to give our neighbours a break.
Without that knowledge, we would have been whining on for months about the 'problem neighbour'.
Find a way to just let them know. If they still complain, that's their problem, not yours xx

You won't be evicted because your child falls under the vulnerable umbrella. You are safe in your home. You do need to ask for help from the local authority. A self referral to family services will get you a lot of help. Ask your GP for referrals, too.

Make sure your HA has a record of your daughter's disability and record this under vulnerabilities and disabilities. You won't get evicted for this.

You can dislike it as much as you like. But autism is a registered disability and the meltdowns occur as part of that disability.

So judge away. You're judging someone for being disabled. I bet you hate people with blue badges and vote Reform too.

Sterling member of society.

Since autism is a registered disability, the housing authority wouldn't be able evict you on the basis of behaviour that forms part of her disability.

Who did her original diagnosis?

Well that's not going to win her any fans, is it?

The neighbours wouldn't be 'sticking their nose in' to enquire about the loud and offensive intrusion that is frequently bothering them. And the appropriate response would be 'I'm so sorry for the disturbance, I try my best to keep it to a minimum but unfortunately due to my child's diagnosis, there is little I can do.'

Not 'mind your own business.'

Honestly, attitudes like yours sum up everything that's gone wrong in our society.

Im 52 we heard swear words at my nice middle class convent primary school...

I empathise. Youngest DC is severely autistic and from the ages of 2-6 had the most horrendous meltdowns with really loud screaming and shouting. We lived in a mid-terrace (newbuild with paper thin walls 😩) I felt so so awful for the neighbours. We were incredibly lucky with how lovely and chill they both were- one kindly insisted she never, ever heard him (lies) and the others said not to worry, they just felt more sorry for me if anything. We live in a detached house now although his meltdowns have calmed right down, I only wish we could have afforded one at the time.

School unfortunately. I was devastated when my 6 year old was taught the f word by another 6 year old. Swearing is absolutely rife in primary schools.

No idea when your 'time' was but I'm 57 and would hear swear words at school and in the street/shops etc.

Also just to add to my above post, there should be a "local offer" I think it's called, with extra services and support for sen families, all the way from quiet sessions of activities up to weekly overnight care away from home, but it's quite hard to find out about and the sencos are not always up to speed. It can pay to keep your eyes peeled for any extra help or opportunities.