Six year old trans girl ‘tries to cut off her penis’ after Guide ban

I think its a little naive to think there are no parents who are not highly receptive to, if not extremely encouraging of their child being trans. The allies with a self view that that they are progressive, enlightened and alternative who wear it like a badge of honour.
It brings attention, praise, a sense of community with those they consider like minded and feeds a sense of their child being special and unique.
While I doubt many are deliberately setting out to make their child's life harder, they rationalise the hardship by blaming it on the bigots rather than their steering of their child, and make fighting the bigotry their purpose.
I do know that being a parent to a child who states they are trans can be an incredibly difficult road, and agree that few would choose it. However for some, in some circles, unconditional acceptance and encouragement of their child's supposed 'transness' does bring social reward.

Offhand, about 7. Could be another couple I've forgotten though.

Having autistic young adults and one in the theatre scene, there are an awful lot of their friends who identify as non-binary or trans.

I speak to them using their chosen names. I try remember every now and again to say They, but I absolutely won't say She for the boys or He for the girls. I'm sure you've come across Barrackers outstanding essay Pronouns Are Rohypnol.

I get on well with these young people, I cook for them and make them drinks when they come over. They are nice kids on the whole (well, one's an asshat, but that's just people.)

I absolutely wouldn't allow them in any single sex spaces according to gender expression, but for all the many times a person's sex is irrelevant, I respect their right to express their gender as they choose.

Where sex matters, I am hardliner. Where it doesn't, I don't have a problem.

I don't lie to children.

The parents are lying to their son be allowing him to be a girl/she/her. It's not fair on the child. As this boy is now finding out just because mummy and daddy say you're a proper girl the majority of the rest of society know he's a boy.

Society don't know his gender identity but they can tell his sex.

At 6 can he even explain why his gender is different to his sex? Past dresses and toys and being happier when he plays with the girls? Can his parents? As I've yet to hear an explanation from anyone that doesn't just go on about stereotypes and not much else.

The lad is at an age when if told when he grows up he can have some medicine and an operation and will then be indistinguishable from all the other girls will believe them. A boy that has yet to go through puberty, a boy who will not understand the process and years it takes to go from child to adult. A boy who has no clue what his parents are suggesting comes with massive health implications A boy who has no clue that the medication has side effects and unintended consequences. A boy who has no clue the surgery will involve turning his penis inside out to create a open wound that is permanently trying to close itself.... Do I need to go on?

So whilst it all seems harmless and cute at 6 and what is the harm in calling him her? All they are doing is setting this boy up for an unhappy future where despite his wish to be a girl, despite the medication and the surgeries people will still see him for the male he is.

Much better to give him the truth now. He can call himself Emily. He can wear tights and pink dresses, he can play with the Barbie doll, he can grow his hair long and have bunches. But he needs to understand that none of those things make him a girl. And nothing that he does along the way, not medication, not surgery, not wishful thinking is ever going to change the fact that every part of him is a boy.

Honestly I'd rather upset a 6 year old and tell them the truth than lie to the extent this boys parents have done.

https://www.judgments.fedcourt.gov.au/judgments/Judgments/fca/single/2024/2024fca0960. This was Tickle v Giggle in 2024 in Australia. The 2025 appeal of Giggle v Tickle is now waiting for the verdict to be handed down so the definition may yet change.

See Part 4, para 87 from Mr Justice Bromwich. You have to shop in the clothes department of your choice.

@Ollldy78

I read posts on threads like these and it seems as though people imagine the parents of trans children to either be plotting some nefarious world dominating ideology based around public bathrooms, or hearing their child express a gender questioning opinion and immediately throwing a trans flag around them and changing their pronouns. The reality is very different, much more nuanced. I would really like to know how many of the “I’d just tell them that’s not real” brigade have ever met a trans person / child?

Yes, I know two trans adults and one child. (And others that are just acquaintances). None of them are nuanced...

The child is the worst. Their mother basically did do what you said, child said in passing they wished they were a girl (whilst still identifying themselves as a boy) and their mother went all out saying they were trans, introducing them as her "daughter", suddenly all pink v "girly" clothes, joining trans groups and posting on social media about being a mum of a trans child, got a trans flag badge for the child to wear at all times.

This is a child I used to babysit for frequently (for the separated father) so I saw it happen close up and knew the child well.

A lot of us have seen things like this, although hopefully most not so extreme!
Either way, it's not "nuance" to lie about reality. Yes, people may deeply wish to be the opposite sex. They can't be though.

The public bathrooms thing is almost a red herring. Pretending men can be women is far more fundamental (and dangerous) than that.

I absolutely agree that children can feel pigeonholed by societal gender expectations (feels like a very wordy way to say that!). However, hand on heart I do not know where these crept into my child’s orbit

It's difficult to avoid the stereotypes and people often don't realise they are imposing stereotypes.

There was a TV programme a few years ago when they dressed baby girls in "boys clothes" and gave them boys names and dressed the boys in "girls clothes" and gave them girls names. They then filmed the interactions between adults and the children. The adults treated these babies very differently depending on whether they thought they were boys or girls based on names and clothing

"is it a natural result of allowing such young children to change their gender identity?"

It's this one, Children are really vulnerable and believe what the adults in their lives tell them so this child possibly really believes that they are a girl in the wrong body which every adults knows (even those who tell them otherwise) that this is untrue, that the boy is in fact a boy who may not conform to typical gender stereotypes.

The adults who set children up to believe the nonsense have a hell of a lot to answer for and we will be dealing with the fallout for decades to come no doubt.

Well for me it would be letting my moustache run riot on my face and wearing trousers.

Oh wait, I seem to do that already.

Oh, Im a boy!!!

My cousins 20 year old is a FTM
As is my friends 22 year old as an adult they can decide for themselves who they are ( both have a family history of autism which i suspect plays a part)
In the case of this 6 year old though ,thats on the parents, children of six dont question their sexuality
Many still belive in the tooth fairy
Santa etc.

Sensible?

You are asking us to refer to a boy - complete with a penis - as "her" and you think you are trying to have a sensible conversation...

"Changing gender" is just another way of saying "pretend".

Dress how you like, do your hair however you want, but don't expect me to play Pretend along with you. I will use the pronouns appropriate to your SEX.

Sometimes the adults in the room have to be adults and tell the truth and not indulge bullshit because the bullshit is more harmful than being a big meanie parent.

It's called being a grown up.

With all due respect @Ollldy78 I don't want to get used to it (using preferred pronouns) apart from anything, I truly believe it to be harmful. Instead I try to avoid pronouns use altogether in front of the individual and use their correct (sexed) pronouns if speaking about them when they are not around.

As for the offensiveness of it all, I do look at these confused young men and think wtf do you know about the stresses and difficulties of being a young woman, how arrogant of you to claim that you do, but I don't voice that thought. They are, after all, young, and have been let down by the adults around them and society at large.

This case features a child who the parents are showboating about and have blogged about.

Lying to the child in the short term will not help them in the long term.

Thank you - you are the only person to reply who has actually known (a) trans child(ren).

I realise it’s a bit to get used to, using different pronouns, but just as when my nephew decided he wanted to be known by his middle name, you get used to it.
For plenty of kids, this will be a phase, like being vegan or liking Billie Eilish. But there will be a few kids in that mix who will relax a little at having their feelings acknowledged, and for them, I think it’s worth it. God knows, I bite my tongue on enough topics when dealing with pedestrian adults’ opinions to make accommodating a kid’s feelings as they learn who they are, seem inconsequential.

And we don't simply do things for children because it will make them happy.

No school and endless junk food would make lots of children happy. But we know better than to give that to them.

Yes.

His penis. He's a boy.

Because once you untether basic language from socially agreed concepts, you create trouble for everyone.

You start to call this child 'she' then you make it that much harder to argue that 'she' shouldn't have access to female spaces and services. How can you be a 'she' in language, but not a 'she' for toilets or changing rooms? How do you communicate that to the child?

How do you explain to this child's peers, that's he is a 'she'? Thus confusing everything they know about what is male and what is female? How are little girls able to maintain the boundaries they might need with this male who is somehow a 'she'?

Its not kindness to create confusion and contradictions for these children. It actually strikes me as quite cruel.

So what does a person do to change gender?
Edited to ask, and how would I have to treat the person?

I’m not presenting the argument you think I am.
I am taking about gender, not sex. I realise you cannot change your biological makeup, but you can change the way you are perceived/treated. I was initially asking how people would “parent “ their gender questioning child, but now, I would really like to know why it bothers everyone so much? I fully agree with women’s spaces for women - I’m not trying to take anything away from us. I do think in this time, in a developed world, we could probably handle some more gender neutral stuff being made available, but I don’t want women to be less safe or lose anything. However, the idea that referring to a 6 yo as “she” which would make her happy, because your principles don’t allow for such nonsense because she can pee standing up seems like a strange wagon to hitch your horse to.. To me it seems unnecessarily puritanical.

I think the headline should actually be "6 year old boy with complex psychological issue self harms, after idiotic parents facilitate make believe fantasy".

Let's leave aside the fact that many people are in absolute delusion about how well they "pass", especially men who think they pass perfectly because women decide not to confront the potentially dangerous bloke who's already indicated he doesn't give a shit about the law or their consent by entering their space. Let's also leave aside the fact that much of the trans community considers it to be transphobic to give such special treatment to those with "passing privilege".

This is a case for third spaces. As you might guess, it's been suggested. Do you want to talk to the TRAs and report back on how they take it?

Thing is, who decides who 'can pass'? And why are we encouraging deception (passing) as a strategy in the first place? There are times when it's really important to know what sex someone is - medical issues and so on.

Why wouldn't gender non conforming males be fine in male spaces? If they aren't, then surely all our efforts should be going into challenging this behaviour.

are you purposefully calling this little boy a little girl OP - to wind people up? Because YOU are part of the problem here. Do you see that? This child, is a boy. With a penis. He should have never been allowed to join an All girls club because out quite simply - HE IS A BOY. The fact that his parents aren’t locked up for abuse is one this - this is awful parenting.