AIBU to be baffled by colleague on same wage living lavishly?

I find this OP utterly baffling, that's a lot to know about a work colleague, and then to ask others, I would be uncomfortable if it was me, I would not be answering personal questions and i have said it out loud, why do you need to know where i live, i dont need to tell you what i do when im not here, privacy should be respected,

Lol...

I tend to not concern myself with other peoples finances,try it,you will be more content.

People probably think this about me but it's because I prioritise travel and doing nice things over pretty much everything else.

I don't have any beauty treatments, wear cheap clothes and have a small house and low mortgage.

Also if you book when flights are cheap and aren't fussy about luxury accommodation holidays don't have to be expensive.

Just wrote a long reply but it only posted half of it and now it won’t let me delete it, only edit it, so you have got this instead… :)

I guess you have no idea what her partners income is.
You have no idea about inheritance, I inherited money from people other than my parents.
Maybe she bought a house early and has no mortgage or a small mortgage.

Maybe she has had a significant compensation payout due to an injury (this is the case for me, accident was 30 years ago, current colleagues wouldn’t know - it paid for a 50% deposit for a house for me).

I’m on similar pay as you. My DH earns £150K. We are comfortable. Also inheritance can be from grandparents, wealthy old Grand Uncles and Aunts who have passed etc. I have a grandparent who left me a house worth £600K. I don’t have any debt other than mortgage. I holiday 3 times a year abroad, two long haul and one Europe trip. And a few trips within the UK. We don’t eat out much unless on holiday as I love cooking.

I used to have a super chavvy friend who failed the 11+, dim, struggled with jobs. He then casually told me he and his wife were buying a £1.5m house, hardly any mortgage and he told me he got £400k inheritance from his grandfather. They were a dirt poor family from council estates. My ex-friend then admitted he was married to a hot-shot lawyer and for the first 10 years of his kids’ lives he was a stay-at-home dad. Fast forward to the kids grown up and the wife divorced him for being a selfish lazy unemployed deadbeat dad who complained 24/7. The house was sold and he got a very modest crappy 2 bed and was unemployed. Nobody batted an eyelid at Mr divorced in his 50s in a 2 bed house with a revolving door of girlfriends.

Low mortgage is the obvious answer, perhaps due to an inheritance or lots of equity from a previous house sale etc.

Other than that, a highly paid partner.

Then you get onto less legal/honest ways, i.e. a drug dealing/money laundering partner, or she's a part time escort or on Only Fans.

What does her husband do? Are the kids his (i.e does she get CMS from rich ex) A grandparent could have left her money? Also sounds like she’s been a saver so maybe she has enough accumulated to treat herself

Unless you know her fairly well and all the ins and outs of her financial commitments this is really odd.

I earn more than most of my coworkers but I’m the most broke because I’m a single parent. I have coworkers who are constantly on holidays, but their wages are essentially pocket money and their DHs cover the household bills.

I also have a coworker that looks gorgeous, always has her nails, hair, lashes etc done….. but hasn’t paid her rent in like 4 months. Priorities.

Lottery win clearly, but not crazy win like £200m just a pocket amount of £1-2m

10 years ago, DPs grandad died. This enabled us to pay off our mortgage. 3 years later, my Mum died, which let us buy a new house outright and rent out our old one.

In the space of 3 years, I went from saving almost nothing every month to being able to put nearly a grand away every year. We're not quite there these days (DD in uni), but I'm still saving 300 quid most months.

In some ways, we're really lucky. If rather still have my Mum though

Is she older? We have no debt or mortgage i only work 10 hours a week and husband retired.we order food all the time go on holiday once a year. I eat out twice a week at weekend and go on trips and holidays with my daughter 3 to 4 times a year. We have great savings. It happens that way as you age

FFS if you're so nosey why don't you just ask her?

There are any number of reasons why she's much wealthier than you.

Unless you know her exact circumstances it’s impossible to say, what some people deem expensive might not be to anyone else. My husband earns £££ compared to me and our lifestyle hasn’t changed, we’ve also sold a property and had some inheritance but I would never discuss these things at work as they are personal.

She obviously receives more money than just her salary.

Obviously got money already.

Maybe she has a trust fund, maybe she has a wealthy spouse?

There could be so many reasons - people’s means can be wildly different.

I learnt this a few years ago. DH and I have both worked hard and earn reasonably well as a result but have had limited family help - more or less everything we have has been the result of our own work. We’ve moved to a fairly expensive but naice area. A few years ago we met a couple round the corner who were planning a renovation. They were a similar age to us and in very similar jobs, so I earnestly recommended our builder and a couple of other tradespeople we’d met, imagining that having spent £1 million+ on the house they’d have stretched themselves a bit financially and would be doing a small renovation on a budget. They graciously took the recommendations without saying anything, bless them.

They’ve subsequently demolished the house and built a huge 6 bed luxury house - borderline mansion, to be honest - in its place. All timber and bespoke brickwork - there’s absolutely no way it cost less than a million to build. The builder they used only accepts jobs with a build cost of over £500,000.

In their case it’s family money. Her parents have given her a couple of mill now so that she can use it now to build an appreciating asset and doesn’t have to pay inheritance tax when they die. But the point is is that people have wildly different means and their jobs may not be their only source of income.

My friend once told us all how she’d never ever have savings, own a house or do anything other than scraps by because her and her daughter will always live life to the max. My other friends launched at her trying to talk her out of her mindset- I said it sounds epic to me! We save then something breaks or our insurance jumps by hundreds or something else takes everything. Your colleague sounds like she’s living!

Inheritance doesn’t only come from parents? The hefty deposit for my property came from my Grandparents. Or her partner earns a lot? Or it’s none of your business?

Inherited wealth?

Yes, the most obvious explanation here is her DHs wage.

Because even if he's only on NMW, 40 hours a week at that would give them a 75k household income. You can actually have a lot of treats on that if you don't have a big mortgage or childcare costs. Maybe OPs wage covers the essentials and day to day spending with his for holidays and treats.

I earn about 12k more than that and have a lovely lifestyle. Dh earns similar. We have one teen. But we moved from London to a much cheaper (though nicer) area so we’re mortgage free at 37. Life is for living and I love holidays, theatre and concerts. Very little debt (hotel in currently at would only accept cc so that’s a little bit). Perhaps she’s in the same position.