AIBU to be baffled by colleague on same wage living lavishly?

How strange

Part time callgirl? Woman at my last job spent six years being shagged senseless by all sorts of city types for cash in hand, went through all sorts of financial shenanigans so a "relative" could gift it back to her legitimately and got a massive deposit down on a nice house.
Okay she had a ridiculously high sex drive, so enjoyed herself a lot I reckon. Bet she's doing only fans on her days off now 🤔
Don't blame her. And I'd probably watch her if I found she was doing it! lol

I have income from a rental property I don't mention at work. My dh has income. So I'm much better off than many colleagues at the same salary point. They probably wonder how I can afford my holidays too.

I'm not a low earner but husband earns twice what I do, and our mortgage isn't huge. One wage doesn't equal family income, nor outgoings. It's not baffling at all.

The first guy was effectively ripping off clients although it wasn't immediately obvious to them. Once one person found out then the police were involved and the other clients identified very quickly. The admin worker was in a very small company, one director, me and three admin, and again it was stealing from clients which took some time to uncover. The last one probably should have been picked up earlier, but she manufactured all the 'correct' paperwork and it was only because the interest didn't get repaid on the loans that it became obvious something was wrong. I don't trust anyone with access to money these days! But I do wonder why they don't realise that they're bound to get caught in the end.

Or OF 😂

I’m fairly low paid in a part time job but my husband earns a 6 figure salary, so you’d probably be baffled by me as well.

Agree, and friend had 50k gifted from an aunt.
Sad when people try to dissect other people's financial situation when they have bo clue and it doesn't affect them.

Same person plays poker and is good at investing.

Some people's circumstances are different, just accept it OP instead of trying to find fault.

My friend has the same income as me. Or so I thought until recently. It appears she has a private income from an inheritance. That explains a lot.

This. It's very odd to think someone would have exactly the same lifestyle as you. You have no idea what else is going on.

In my experience it is nearly all down to inheritance or significant ongoing extended family financial support.

I earn very well indeed, well into 6 figures, however I have to pay for everything myself. I did assume that was normal for most people but apparently appears not to be in many cases.

I see people earning way less talking about holidays that I would have to give serious consideration regarding affordability before committing to. They then drop into the equation that their parents are also going and no doubt funding it all. It is the same with home improvements. People talk casually about getting a new 30k kitchen and only later mention their parents "helped" pay for it.

The list is endless. Childcare being another significant one. I spent around 150k of pre tax income on childcare for DS. Many lower earners use GP and pay nothing.

Over time all this adds up to a huge amount and gives a 50k earner the lifestyle of someone on more like 150k.

Inheritance is of course the other key factor. I have friends who have only ever been in low paid work yet have inherited multiple properties so have been able to live lifestyles that are not comparable with what would normally be expected of someone in their job roles.

I have no issue with how anyone funds their lifestyle however I do think the sky high price of property has made inheritance a much bigger lifestyle factor for many than ever used to be the case.

It was meant to say we are 30 years old.
Cars are both 2013

Also have 120k in ISAs, 220k in pensions combined, but they are from before maternity leave & not been touched this year

Husband?

Some people have no/low mortgage due to buying yonks ago when houses were cheap as chips.

Sorry, we’re 30 years old. Cars are 10-15

yeah we have 2 incomes but Not during Mat leave

Got her fanny on the internet maybe?

Doesn't take a parent to die to get inheritance. A grandparent could easily leave their estate to a grandchild, especially if their own child is already set up for life (older generations more likely to have their own home with mortgage paid etc). As someone else said, if parents have a large estate and are getting on a bit, they might be gifting it now to avoid the inheritance tax later. They might've helped with the purchase of a house etc which would make the mortgage small, hence the overpayments being possible...

Both DH and I started investing young. Markets checked every day. I could have earned more but turned down promotion on more than one occasion.

We live in a modest semi. Planning on moving in about 18 months to 2 years and will buy a bigger house with some land. I think at that point our relatives and friends will be a bit perplexed how we have done it.I remember an article about The Wilson’s who were huge Landlords and both maths teachers, very controversial characters. We were considering BTL but decided not to. But that sums us up, as we worked in education. Lots of friends of DH work in financial services but he just doesn’t have that cut and thrust nature required neither do I. Plus loved working with young people and seeing them develop. I suppose we could be classed as underachievers career wise. Our investments have beaten our earned income some years.

I am fortunate not to work as I help with grandchildren and husband is a professional on £240k, however he pays hugely into his pension and ovs is taxed highly

While I agree with the latter part of your post, this doesn't really seem an unusual level of sharing for work colleagues? I accept some people keep their private lives really private, but this is pretty much within the range of normal too. What did you do at the weekend, going anywhere nice this year, idle chit chat. The things she's talking about doing aren't particularly lavish. You couldn't do them if you were on the bones of your arse, but meals out and mini breaks to places that Ryanair fly aren't rich rich territory either. I can see why someone might not think it was the sort of good fortune that needed discretion, especially in a workplace where at least some of them are higher rate taxpayers.

She may also, depending on the workplace norms around leave, have felt she needed to explain at least some of it too. If she needed a set date due to a house move and it was at a popular time, for example.

Handled money better than you / well in the past
earnt more in past
good at budgeting now
partner who earns well
inheritance
good at finding deals
more optimistic view on money
does in fact have credit cards / debts

many reasons this could be the case that don’t necessarily involve being a drug dealer !!

stop being baffled and MYOB

She shouldn’t be sharing her situation with everyone. It’ll cause her problems. Just live your own life. Can’t be hard to understand she’s just richer. You could accept it and live your life or you could become bitter and make your life harder.

A lot of parents don’t have to have died for their kids to “inherit” - quite a lot of them give cash to their kids well before the inevitable.

Why would you know about any inheritance she has? She's a colleague, why would she mention it to you?

Parents being alive doesn't mean you don't have money from somewhere.

There are a lot of ways to have money other than salary.