AIBU to be baffled by colleague on same wage living lavishly?

It’s not possible to fund the lifestyle you describe on 50k a year, even with deals and bargain hunting so your colleague clearly has additional income streams. I’m always surprised how much difference parental help makes and how little the people that get it seem to value it.

Why do these threads constantly come up on MN? Do people genuinely find it impossible to grasp that a lot of people aren't 100% reliant on their salaries? They work because it's fulfilling and they had a degree in that field. If anything, many lower earning industries (media, fashion, art, food etc) tend to attract people who are wealthy because they do it for the interest rather than income.

Similarly, most people are married. So their partners could have also built a career parallel to theirs. If one partner's work takes off, then both obviously enjoy the benefits together. Also, the vast majority of people have grandparents and parents. If one passes away, you instantly get a property or lump sum that's more than what you can earn in decades of work.

These threads always reek of jealousy rather than a genuinely wide-eyed bafflement than some people cannot possibly be living a certain way on X-salary per year.

This!

You might be think this if you met my son or his partner 31 & 27
earns around 70 between them
no kids and not having them
beautiful 3 bed house
Car
Lavish holidays abroad
weekends away
meals out
no debt and around 20k in savings

but he had a big inheritance bought his house
& car pretty much outright

I often give them a few hundred quid a month because I can afford to

if he’s got a big car bill say of 1200 I will give him 1k towards it

paid for them to come on holiday with us last year

Assuming she's truthful

It's family money or her husbands salary....

I memorable met a woman who worked at a retreat i went to think EA coordinator type role.
She was dizzy as anything and had all kind of expensive gear and drove a v ooh la la car... I was talking to the owner of the retreat and they mentioned her parents owned a large chain of caravan parks in Wales and worked "for fun"

Nice work if you can get it!

Could also be different spending habits. I never spend on things like nails, botox, fillers, teeth whitening and the rest of it. I hardly ever buy clothes and when I do, they are mostly second hand. I don't drink, or smoke, or go on nights out to gigs or other experiences regularly.

My hobbies are fairly cheap and that leaves me more money for other things.

Or she is a prostitute, drug dealer, or thief! Or maybe won big on the lottery (I know someone who did and has a similar lifestyle).

Who knows!

Just because you earn the same doesn't mean your expenses are the same.

I've had a similar conversation with someone at work who didn't understand how I can afford to go on holiday and go to gigs.

I pointed out she regularly goes clothes shopping, drinks with the girls, keeps buying handbags, regularly has her nails/hair/facials etc., done in salons and so on. I don't do any of this.

I said we're probably spending the same amount, just she spends her fun money weekly, whereas I save mine up for bigger less frequent things.

She still wouldn't have it though and is convinced I'm doing something dodgy to earn all this "extra money" 🙄

Could be a number of things:

• side business which is very lucrative
• partner or husband being a big earner
• inheritance or ageing parents gifting large sums annually to avoid the 7 year inheritance tax rule
• significant investments that have a big yield
• own a number of BTL properties which bring in a large sum.

I know a couple like this, both in normal jobs. Her a hairdresser and him a delivery driver. Three kids, mortgage etc. yet they are out every weekend, 6 holidays last year, just brought a mobile home at the seaside. Expensive birthday/ Christmas gifts for the kids. It always blew my mind how they managed to live like it until a relative of theirs told me that despite what they said it was all on credit cards and finance etc. its a reminder that was we see on social media is false!

Try to focus on your own life. Detach from knowing so much about your colleague. Who cares how/why she has funds to do what she does? (as long as it isn't illegal)

Comparing your lifestyle to others just leads to dissatisfaction. Jealousy is never healthy.

This is like me - I’m sure my colleagues might think this way - I’m on the same wage but seem to be able to afford other stuff - in my case - my husband was in IB and had been for 20 years - then opened his own company and does well with that too.

Not always, I live very much like this. No debt other than mortgage, ample savings etc. there s not always a negative side to it, some people just have the money to do these things. I have never had a credit card and I’m 40…I’m lucky to have never needed one but it’s possible to get through life without one.

Some people are really good at finding deals - it's almost like a sport sometimes. If she invested wisely when younger then she's probably got a good cushion. Or a second income of some sort.

Big win on the bounty with Calvin & Leanne?
Rich family/husband
Inheritance/financial settlement.

😆 😂 😆 😂 😆

Someone in my team inherited and has a huge house with fully paid off mortgage, massive new car etc. Her lifestyle is definitely better than mine and that of our big boss, who must earn double what she does. It just is.

I dont have any debt and I dont pay for things in instalments.

Oh dear not another jealous post.

I occasionally wondered why people who DH works with seem to have so much more money than us. Generally it’s 1) both are high paid (I earn about 20% of what DH earns) and 2) they had children significantly later than us having built up lots of funds to have small mortgages, lots of investments etc.

Nothing baffling here. I earn about double what you earn in a public sector job in an expensive city and most of my colleagues have stay at home wives. My husband works in finance. No inheritance. We obviously are able to afford things — private school, much more expensive house — that most of my colleagues can’t. Pisses me off when they assume I inherited money. Also when they assume my husband will stay at home in a crisis to look after our children!

High earning partner, inheritance, family help, freed up capital from the house sale if she downsized, investments, or it could all be on credit despite what she says; there are lots of ways people fund things other than current salary.

bit of an assumption there! There could be loads of other reasons

she possibly has no mortgage or a very low mortgage due to buying at the right time

lottery win

prioritising her spending

inhertance

side hustle

husband earning a lot

recieving benefits on the side

I live a little bit like this, not exactly quite as much, but we paid off our mortgage years ago.

Or she might have money from family or big pot of savings and wants to plough through it. Dont blame her.