AIBU to be baffled by colleague on same wage living lavishly?

Yes, the simplest explanation is probably the closest to the truth.

Likely she has a smaller mortgage than you, and her partner earns more?

That's quite an assumption. I'm on less than 30k and aside from mortgage don't have any debt and never have. What makes you think that can be the only way people are living?

I know right? its completely bizarre to me too.

I cant imagine spending time trying to work out what my friends earn or how much they have. I couldn't give a shit.

That time is far better spent working on your own investments and income streams than it is worrying about other people

Investments. A high earning partner. Family trust. Inheritance - may have come down from grandparents vs parents. Not sure why any of these possibilities would be baffling?

These posts are ridiculous. What do you want us to say. Nobody knows. But the answer is - she has more money/debt than you.

Inheritance, investments, property, rich partner, another income source from somewhere. Lots of people have access to more money than they earn at work.

Key bit of info OP hasn’t commented on is so they have a DP/Dh?

You haven't mentioned a partner - if she has one earning megabucks, or at least enough tp fund their essential costs, then her £50k is "fun money" for them.

You can’t possibly know this.

The obvious answer is, her finances are different to OP’s. Being on the same salary means nothing.

What does her DH do for a living? What does yours do?

Or a part-time high-class whore.

I consider myself to be a high earner. For years I was on about £50k and Dh about £30k. We have what I consider to be a good lifestyle, 2 kids in private school & we paid off our mortgage. We actually removed Ds from private school after year 8 and from then on that money could fund luxuries.

we just happen to live in a cheap area & bought at the right time. We go to the theatre and eat out a lot but don’t go on holiday abroad. I have a company car so we only have to fund the running costs of dh’s car.

Yes - this Why do people do that?

I know plenty of people like this. Much lower salary than me, yet 5 or 6 holidays a year, constantly shopping, even house extensions. I don't give it a much thought, but assume that they just have no debts or a partner who earns a lot.

My SIL was on a £16k salary in her 20s but has now married into money. She now has a 5 bedroom house in a very sought after market town where I live, doesn't ever need to work again, all mod cons, 3 holidays since January this year alone, huge Jeep, etc.

Mind you I don't know how my neighbour does it. She doesn't work, is single, yet has the exact same house as us (we are both fairly good earners) and is constantly out shopping, has two cars, has her windows and bins cleaned by a private company every week, and just got a very expensive garden upgrade. She isn't in a council house.

I mean, I could definitely afford to do many of those things and my highest ever salary was about £45k. I currently earn in the £30k something range probably (I’m a company director so I don’t draw a normal salary). I think you’re earning very well to not be able to afford a few weekend breaks and a spa day now and again.

I have a big house (5 beds with 5 acres of land and outbuildings), but relatively low mortgage for the value (£1600). I have a horse that I keep in livery. I don’t do big shopping trips because I’d rather poke my eye out than go on a shopping trip. But I go to London for the weekend usually once a year. I’ve been on two holidays to Spain already this year. We’re away on a UK self catering holiday for Easter. Kids do hobbies. Dh does (relatively expensive) hobbies.

We don’t really count the pennies and we generally never run out of money by the end of the month. But we also don’t have car finance. We don’t eat out, I’m very much a packed lunches and cooking from scratch at home sort of person. I’ve never had a credit card in my life at 45. I think Dh only has one for business purposes. We don’t have lots of day to day expenses, which I think makes a difference. We do a lot of stuff ourselves; for example, we had a burst pipe the other week. Plumber wanted to charge £1500 just to come out with his fancy detector and find it. We got the digger out and found it ourselves and fixed it. Probably saved £5000. That stuff adds up over time.

But with 2 incomes, our household income is over £100k, so we are very comfortable but not rich. We have a very nice lifestyle though.

It baffles me why people care so much about others finances. My in-laws are obsessed with how much people earn, how much their houses are worth, cost of holidays etc.

We are deliberately vague when they ask us about our finances. I’m not interested in knowing how much personal pension their friend has, how many holidays a cousin has been on, it has no interest to me at all.

What an odd post. The COL hasn’t affected everyone. The last couple of years I have been better off financially than I ever was.

Perhaps she manages her money differently.

However she does it, I’m not sure that asking a load of randomers to speculate on her financial position is particularly useful. It’s not like you are ever going to find the answer so it’s a bit odd to be that interested in it. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that…

She is prioritising these things in budget and has most likely different outgoings. It's simple as that. As pps mentioned, there are people who are good in finding any and every deal, offer and promo code. Travel can be done on solid budget too.

But why would she tell you about any inheritances- thats her business isnt it?

I have an inheritance but I dont tell anyone about it because my bank balance is noone's business apart from mine. I've been burned in the past disclosing details about money and then having people chase me relentlessly and disrespectfully for loans so now I dont tell a soul about my financial situation.

She very likely has another source of income you arent privy to

I earn same as you. I have no childcare costs and I don't have any debts. I am very diligent with my savings and I invested in a holiday property in my early 20s which I sold last year at a considerable profit.
I spend about £300 a month on my hobbies and activities which I could have easily spent on going on holidays and eating out twice a week if that was my jam. Eating out never costed me more than £30 anyway. A main and a couple of non-alcoholic drinks.
I took two trips last year with a friendship group sharing hotel room on one occasion and staying at friend's house in Europe on another. Both trips were under £400.
I don't buy new clothes and I am careful about my bill spending. I bought a new car for cash so no monthly loan repayments on that. I keep the same mobile phone for five+ years and my sim-only contract costs me £12 a month and I only have one streaming subscription.
Last time I bought any tech was a new Mac because my old one died just before Christmas. My old Mac was 12 years old and was repaired twice over the years instead of replacing.

If I had a husband to share living costs, I'd be doing very well.

Could be another relative without children. DH's cousin ended up inheriting a house from an distant childless aunt, sold it and instantly got £200K to live off. Pretty lucky as he was never able to hold down a job anyway and has alcohol problems.

On paper you could say this is me and my DH. His work colleges are always asking him when we are off on our next trip and how he affords it etc. He’s a driver. They also know that he makes extra payments to his pension as the accountant/pay roll woman has never had a staff member want to pay more and she told everybody how unusual it was. We own our own property. We go on 1-2 cruises a year for around 21-24 days and I have 1-3 other holidays and breaks away. I drive a nice car and so does he. To lots of people we must look loaded. But we’re aren’t. The property is an ex council house that we got through rtb with max discount. So mortgage is tiny. My car is a mobility car as I’m waiting for joint replacement due to a degenerative auto immune disease that’s eating my joints. Our trips are done on a shoe string budget with the cruises costing £150 a month via direct debit or savings and the other trips are Ryanair/budget hotels and penny pinching. But Peter don’t see that side, they just see that I go away a lot and take amazing photos. I once got a week in Corfu for 4 of us for £68 each with flights/hotel/transfer included. Currently looking at a week in France which is coming in £115 each in June. My. Our joint income is about £55k but in the nw that goes pretty far. Our bills are small and utilities and mortgage maybe £700 a month. I scratch cook everything and bulk buy food and although I wear designer clothes I’ve never paid full price and buy from eBay/vinted. We do our own diy and I won’t pay anybody to do anything that me or my DH can do. The only time we use a credit card is if there is an absolute bargain that’s not in the budget/savings pot and then wet pay out of asap. Got a week cruise for 4 of us to the European Christmas markets 2 years ago for £1290 all inclusive and I wasn’t saying no to that. Was paid within 4 months

What does her DH/P do for a living? I’d just assume he’s bringing in a lot more money.