“You are lucky to get £7”

Well, thank god for Op then because ‘substantial sum’ (it isn’t) or not, it certainly isn’t going to fund raising his children is it? Nowhere even close.
Wow. So many dead beat dads shirking their responsibilities and relying on strong women to raise their children alone.

I would disagree with this take. If he's paying £7 per week then that means that he is on Universal Credit or some other similar benefit.

UC, for a person over the age of 25 without dependant children, is currently £400.14 per month or £92.34 per week. Plus, there will be a contribution towards rent (where I live it is £345 per month for those under 35 and £575 per month for those over 35).

Although the OP is being paid £7, it is likely that the father is being charged £8.40 per week (the extra amount is for them collecting it directly rather than him paying it). Although out of £92 that is only 9% it is still a substantial sum, leaving him with £83.94 per week (or £11.99 per day) to live on.

It is bloody hard work with never a break and £30/month is insulting- it’s not lucky at all.

I didn’t claim maintenance as I just didn’t want that ‘tie’ like you - I’m still glad of that decision decades later. Strangely, I was all for my own child claiming maintenance as the dad’s responsibility and totally believing they should do plus some benefit to the child.

So I suppose I think I agree with all these saying claim but I still wouldn’t change what I did - it’s not black/white and for me the ‘freedom/peace’ I felt and the ‘doing it myself’ were worth it, though I occasionally think I wish I’d felt differently and so had a tiny bit more for them, but I really couldn’t. So I completely understand why you don’t want it and whilst I think he should pay, and yes every little helps the kids, you might find a sense of peace and freedom from having to be reminded of his ridiculously minor input if you stop claiming too and that’s amazing.

I also did it solo without breaks - and that’s hard but I had a time of ‘contact’ early on and that too was bloody hard so that’s all swing and roundabouts as PPs have said, but they grow and one day it will have ‘gone so quickly’ and my kids now view women as capable and strong (though I really wasn’t lol).

Your friend doesn’t seem to see the shades of difficulties across all life, childrens’ upbringing, or that others have differing experiences/views, perhaps she is really struggling with money. But no nothing is ‘lucky’ for you about the deadbeat ex behaviour but you’ll be ok.

It’s a turn of phrase. She didn’t literally mean you are lucky, she was saying ‘yes, it really is that shit. Heres my situation by comparison’!!

It's an insult OP but absolutely DON'T deny it your child when they're entitled to it. 28 a month is about £6000 by the time your child turns 18. Put it directly into a children's savings account and that could grow to almost £10000 by the time they're an adult. That might be the difference between them going to uni or not, setting up a small business, deposit on a house. You should be getting more absolutely but don't cut your child's your nose off to spite your face

There’s a race to the bottom thread, where people are asking why is there such a race to the bottom- that lady could be on one of those threads. You essentially get the same as she does and worse he probably tells people he pays without the details x

Same situation here. Self employed plumber apparently earning 3k a year. I get £28 per month. He's on and off benefits so there's about £600 arrears too. All the letters and recalculations they send me every few months must cost Cms more than he pays me. The service is absolutely dire.

How are men allowed to get away with this?!

£7 a week from birth to 18 is over £6,000
nice to pass on to your child maybe?
although you don’t say how old they are!! It’s frustrating isn’t it. I’d just set up an account and put it away. Even if you use it for new school shoes once a year.

I really like the subscription idea above. My abusive fuckhead ex pays the same as yours (initially I wanted nothing from him and he wanted us "to starve" but changed his tune and agreed the amount with the child maintenance service the day before we went to court over a protection order so he'd look like slightly less of a monster) and, inspired by that poster, I'm going to think of our Who Gives a Crap toilet roll subscription as being funded by him from this day forward.

Maybe you could do the same, OP? Start a subscription (weirdly, I think ours actually is £28 a month) and let your children enjoy the cheerfully wrapped loo rolls while you enjoy not giving a crap as you all wipe your arses on his paltry contribution!

They don't actually mean you are lucky. It's just a throw away comment. They are not lucky that their ex has them every other weekend. It disturbs their schedules interferes with clubs and friends and I my case exhausted them as they weren't fed properly or given a bedtime. I'd take it as 'were in this together ' type comment not a serious point of envy. £28 pcm is shit but it is better than nothing.

I was in the 'never paid and saw the kids once a year' camp. AND he was working! Just avoided payment.

Don't close the claim. Yes, it's a joke, but should he win the lottery or have some other huge stroke of fortune at least you could then claim against his vast income. If you close it, I doubt you'd get anything (in the unlikely event!)

And £28 a month, put away for your DC if you can do without it, will pay for driving lessons or a nice 18th birthday gift.

He sounds vile!
They definitely should be made to work even if it’s voluntary work instead of getting handouts and pity. But alas, we live in soft touch Britain so it ain’t gonna happen.

my dad contributed £8 a month.

Yes @JacquesHarlow because in this wretched society it’s the woman who picks up all the pieces.

£1.57 ? Bloody hell! How did he manage to hide and lie about bank accounts and get away with it? I wouldn’t have torn up the letter. I would have saved it to show his kids when they’re old enough to understand.

Yeah because blaming the woman is always the way to go on this wretched board.

"You should have seen this coming OP before reproducing."

Wow.

Sometimes dealing with a difficult unreliable ex for EOW visits is worse as they’re still in your life and have the power to fuck things up for you.

I would pick £7 over having to rely on a useless ex-partner to keep his word.

Both your child’s dad and hers are absolute pondlife. Did they show signs of being utter shit before you got pregnant?

This is a good way of looking at it. £28 a month might seem like nothing to you but it could be a lot to him to buy booze, fags or whatever he’s into.
In the unlikely event that his circumstances change (inheritance / lottery win/ gets off his arse and gets a paid job) where would you stand then if you close the maintenance claim?
£28 a month is a pitiful amount but save it up for your children and when their older let them know that this is what their father contributed.

Yanbu of course. I'd keep it open though just so he has £28 less a month.

My kids dad pays me a fair amount but I'd trade it all for him to want to see his children more.

I get jealous of people whos other parent are really active in the kids lifes and I really wish I had that for mine. So it's probably similar to something like that I guess.

Could he do this? Have you asked him?

What would you do if you had proof?