“You are lucky to get £7”

Yanbu, at least if he had them every other weekend he would have to pay for food etc for those days. Although in principle I would rather them be with me so know they are eating properly and not being ignored
But £7 is an absolute joke , he would spend more on a pet dog. Disgraceful.

I get nothing, but I’d almost rather that than £7! It’s an insultingly paltry amount! YANBU.

I worked in a bank with someone who resigned rather than pay for his children when he split from his partner. Absolutely disgusting.

That’s really rough and I completely see how you’d want to cancel because it makes no difference to you. However, I really like a PP’s idea of putting it in a savings account for your DC. You could set up a standing order so you never have to think about it.

The friends ex probably doesn't work and is on benefits. He's probably calculated to pay nothing because he has the kids 52 nights per year wiping out his £7 a week contribution. CMS say that the non resident parent spends more than £7 per week having the overnight contact and calculate that a parent on benefits doesn't pay because of this

No don’t cancel it - because then when the kids get older and he reconnects with them (which they always try to do when the work is done) he’ll tell them “well I wanted to give your mum money but she refused it” (conveniently omitting that it was £7 a week)

I agree with this too.

Not lucky of course OP and very insensitive of the person who said it, however I'd hazard a guess that even someone very wealthy wouldn't chuck £28 down the drain.

And it is better in yours and your child's pocket than his.

Stash it or put it toward something to do once a month. Or as a pp said buy yourself a little gift with it. It's disgusting what men who are parents can get away with.

It's disgusting that some men get away with this but no way would I cancel the claim. I'd have no doubt it pisses him off having to pay it (and he will be paying the fee, or part of it, to have CMS pay you directly). My ex pays a similar amount which is often recalculated to nothing for a bit as he's on benefits and does have them 4 nights per fortnight - well, ds1 is at uni now. I was the breadwinner when we were together and he thought that would continue to mean he never had to pay anything, ever. He obviously feeds them at his but other than that spends nothing on them. No chance would I cancel the claim as I want him to have the constant reminders that he is responsible - they took him to court years ago and he paid £16 which at that ;point was the first time he'd ever paid anything! If I canceled the claim he'd see it as acknowledgement that I should be paying everything.

I got nothing but no I don’t think you’re lucky to get £7. It’s outrageous how these feckless men don’t want to support their children.

The bar is oh so low.

I receive nothing for 2 dc, ex’s other three children (older) receive £100 each per month. There’s nothing I can do about it.

That said, I’m glad he doesn’t have DC more.

UK child support system makes no sense to me. How is one parent allowed to pay 7 quid, because see he doesn't have much money, poor thing. But the other parent just has to find the rest of money?? She can't put in 7 quid from her side and conside it done, can she?

Well thats not really true is it? I know its not loads but swimming, a Saturday morning cinema (most do really cheap deals then), a round of crazy golf, a day out at a beach or country park or free museum if you're careful about snacks. Again, not remotely defending the amount but its not nothing.

Well if you faved it for 16 years it’s nearly £6k you could give to child ?! Obvs he should be paying more but equally don’t miss out on something your child could benefit from.

Closing the claim isn't in your children's vest interests. Don't do it.

I spend more than £7 a week on my cat.

YANBU

You know, when your children are older they’ll know how he treated them (or not). Mine are in their thirties and remember how he didn’t take them on holiday etc but managed stuff with his new girlfriend(s)

Hes not changed even now.

Keep the £7. He’s a proper tosser 💐

Nothing has changed in all these years. When I was a child (admittedly this was late 70s-80s) but my mum got £1 a week for 2 kids People think £1 went a lot further than today, it didn’t. Dad had a great job, no debts.

Don’t close the claim. Open a stocks and shares ISA, pay the money in every month and let it grow.

I can’t imagine being the person who transfers precisely £7 a week to my ex’s bank account to ‘contribute’ towards our children and never a penny more! On benefits or not, what sort of parent could do that? I’m baffled by any parent who just pays the minimum CMS sets even, it’s never enough.

How do you feel when you see the £7? Do you think of him? Will you think of the cruel "lucky" comment? Will you wish it was EOW?

if the thoughts are unhelpful it might be good to stop the payments just so you don't have that reminder or attachment to him.

I like the idea of doing something with it, I'd be tempted to spend it on lottery tickets.

Yes £7 is not a lot, but the fact it is there means it can be increased.

It's also £364 a year. Maybe save it up and get something for the family.

I get £6. I’m not grateful but by god, there’s no chance I’d take away that teeny tiny bit of responsibility towards raising his children. They can have a Freddo a day with that!

No, I would keep the £7 per week. It only helps him if you don’t. I wouldn’t give it a second thought, I’d move it into a Christmas savings account & have the £350ish towards giving the kids a fab Christmas.

We were the same as you and entitled to the £7 a week that is specified when the NRP is in receipt of benefits/not declaring their SE work. I actually refused the amount as ex thought it was hilarious that he only needed to pay that as thought that it would mean I would struggle. I’ve had the last laugh though and through sheer hard work have a great career, own my own home and have two amazing teens who want for nothing, with whom I have a fantastic relationship ♥️ Ex has no job still, lives with his Mum and hasn’t seen them for five years. People will always try to compare, I wouldn’t even engage in conversation about it. The moment I accepted I’d never have any time alone or help, things changed for the better.

what an absolute disgrace, such a slap in the face. i love the idea of an album with a pic of half a haircut. there might be a way to get more or force him to work (excluding illness/disability), try a free consultation with a lawyer or going through the gp.

reminds me of an old joke

what do you call the useless bit of skin at the end of a penis?

a man

i would donate £28 p/m to an animal charity and turn an insult into something positive, thinking of the help it would give. it doesn't have to be an animal charity, that's just what i would pick because animals are very close to my heart.

i really hope his circumstances change and he has to take a job. well done mama, you're doing amazing