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“You are lucky to get £7”

192 replies

LemonadeCake · 28/03/2026 22:20

I’ve been debating whether to just close my child maintenance claim altogether. My ex pays £7 a week and always has and realistically, it’s been years, he’s never going to get a job, so it’s not likely to change.

I mentioned this to someone and they told me I was “lucky” to even get £7 because they get nothing 🤦‍♀️

Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit annoyed by that? Am I really supposed to feel grateful for £7 a week? It barely covers anything it might as well be nothing, and honestly sometimes I think I’d rather it was nothing than this token amount that makes no real difference but means he can say he “pays” for the children. Theres been times when I’ve got nothing due to him having debts that take priority but I’ve never once felt anyone else was lucky to receive maintenance for their children.

They then said their ex has the kids every other weekend so that’s why they don’t get anything… but if I’m honest, I’d rather have that arrangement. At least then you’ve got some time to yourself and a bit less day-to-day cost. But obviously that’s not something you can say out loud without it sounding awful but it’s ok to tell me I'm lucky?

Is the bar really this low now? 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 29/03/2026 21:51

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 21:42

Maybe im reading it wrong but I’ve definitely seen a few comments trying to imply it’s more than what it is.

I would keep taking it because it’ll be an annoyance to ex. Also, it will add up just set up a regular saver so it’s completely dc money and you don’t have to think of it as toxic funds in your account.

No one can genuinely argue it’s even close to being a decent amount but deciding not to take it is cutting off your own nose to spite your face. I will never understand how a parent can walk away from their own dc. Thankfully they have you. I understand why it’s galling but don’t give him the headspace, he’s a worthless human so eye roll and take the money from the fuckwomble.

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 21:42

Maybe im reading it wrong but I’ve definitely seen a few comments trying to imply it’s more than what it is.

OP posts:
DarmokAndJaladAtTenagra · 29/03/2026 21:25

I don't think anyone is disagreeing with you that it's a pathetic amount. But canceling the claim is not the right solution

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 21:08

My sons school lunches cost me double that a year.

OP posts:
LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 20:58

I don’t know how £300 a year is seen as a decent amount, I read mums on here getting £500 a month being told it’s not enough to raise a child

OP posts:
LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 20:57

NoisyMonster678 · 29/03/2026 20:54

Its £364 per year

Most people get more than that a month through child maintenance?

OP posts:
NoisyMonster678 · 29/03/2026 20:54

Its £364 per year

Penguinsandspaniels · 29/03/2026 20:43

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:44

..

wtf. How can that happen

its income

Idunkia · 29/03/2026 20:27

BrendaSmall · 29/03/2026 19:19

No doubt you do the same with the children’s child benefit!

What a silly comment from a silly person. Just so like you feel like you are winning, Ms Saver.
Put it in a savings account, while she is expected to feed them, clothe them, provide shelter and everything else. Its money for their upkeep. £7 a week.

DarmokAndJaladAtTenagra · 29/03/2026 20:26

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:58

I have children it would be split between them.

Ok, so your 2 kids get £9.5k a year
Or your 3 kids get £6.3k a year
Or your 10 kids get £1.9k a year

Whatever, so they go on fewer long haul holidays a year when they're retired, but they'll have more options than they would have had if you burn the money in his face just so you can feel good because you don't want this pathetic excuse for a man and father to feel worthwhile.

You have a choice to do something clever and stick two fingers up at him. He failed at being a dad. He's failing at providing for his children now. But your kids will win in the end if you're clever

cadburyegg · 29/03/2026 19:34

BrendaSmall · 29/03/2026 19:19

No doubt you do the same with the children’s child benefit!

Don’t be ridiculous, it all goes into the same pot. She is providing EVERYTHING for the children, she doesn’t have to save it ffs

Unforgettablefire · 29/03/2026 19:33

If you really don’t need it enough to be able to cancel it why not save it all up for your dc? I’m sure they’d appreciate it in a lump sum that’s a lot of money.
Or even just spend it on your dc, better they have it than him.

BrendaSmall · 29/03/2026 19:19

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:55

Yes I think it’s my money 🤦‍♀️ you know what I use it for my hair and nails 💅

No doubt you do the same with the children’s child benefit!

Asenseofcalm · 29/03/2026 19:17

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:44

..

I’m actually in shock!

Okay, so you can ask the CMS for a variation on the maintenance calculation.

This is specifically for situations where:

  • The paying parent has additional income not shown in HMRC records

You can argue:

  • He has unearned income / property income
  • His lifestyle doesn’t match declared income

ChatGPT says: What actually works best

A clear, structured statement like:

  • He owns/rents a property with X bedrooms
  • I believe he rents rooms to lodgers
  • Reasons: (ads seen / statements / observations)
  • Estimated rent per room (if known)
  • Request: variation due to additional income

👉 This is often enough to trigger a review

The CMS will then do their own investigation.

Good luck!

Wynter25 · 29/03/2026 19:02

I get nothing from the kids dad and wouldnt dream of saying that

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:58

I have children it would be split between them.

OP posts:
DarmokAndJaladAtTenagra · 29/03/2026 18:56

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 11:42

Thank you I’d rather have nothing to, it’s a completely insult would rather shut the claim down than have him thinking he is providing for them.

At the risk of repeating myself - by cancelling the claim you're cutting your child's nose off because of your spite at your ex.

You child is not going to always be a child. £7 a week now is no good to man nor beast, but if you invest it, and get tax relief on it by using a SIPP, your child will grow up into 68 year old with an extra £19000 a year.

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:55

BrendaSmall · 29/03/2026 18:52

It’s not money for you it’s for his children, put it in a savings account for when they’re older and they can decide what to do with their money

Yes I think it’s my money 🤦‍♀️ you know what I use it for my hair and nails 💅

OP posts:
BrendaSmall · 29/03/2026 18:52

LemonadeCake · 28/03/2026 22:40

That wouldn’t be the reason I want to close it it’s because I want no further ties to him. He doesn’t see our children and I don’t want anything from him if he doesn’t want to be a father I don’t want to chase him for pennies.

It’s not money for you it’s for his children, put it in a savings account for when they’re older and they can decide what to do with their money

NeededANameChangeAnyway · 29/03/2026 18:50

£7 a week is an absolute travesty. I can't quite understand how that is worked out! But, like others have said don't cancel it!! Keep taking it from that tosser and spend it on sweeties and lottery tickets. Don't let him off the hook however insultingly tiny the hook is.

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:48

He does not have the rooms because of my children he had the property before I met him.

OP posts:
Asenseofcalm · 29/03/2026 18:47

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:41

He can, look into it, it’s disregarded.

There’s no way UC will pay for the roof over his head as he’s not working but he’s free to rent out the rooms for extra cash and not have to declare it.

Does he have the extra room/s because he says he looks after his child?

What he’s doing is wrong. He’s thieving off the tax-payer and you’re getting ripped off too.

Call them, they’ll soon tell you if you or me is correct.

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:44

..

“You are lucky to get £7”
OP posts:
LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:41

Asenseofcalm · 29/03/2026 18:40

No he’s not! Don’t be ridiculous. He can’t rent out rooms UC are paying for. Plus he has to declare his income. You don’t need hard evidence, you just need to tell them what he is doing. They will investigate and determine if it’s legitimate or not.

If he has to stop renting the rooms, his income will reduce and hopefully this will force him to have to work and you will get more CMS and possible weekend childcare too.

He can, look into it, it’s disregarded.

OP posts:
Asenseofcalm · 29/03/2026 18:40

LemonadeCake · 29/03/2026 18:35

I don’t have any evidence, maybe if I did I’d be tempted to report like actual hard evidence he couldn’t deny. Yes UC pay his rent and he is allowed to earn from rental income and still claim UC as it’s disregarded by UC if you look into it he is allowed to earn money from lodgers with no limit and still claim UC.

No he’s not! Don’t be ridiculous. He can’t rent out rooms UC are paying for. Plus he has to declare his income. You don’t need hard evidence, you just need to tell them what he is doing. They will investigate and determine if it’s legitimate or not.

If he has to stop renting the rooms, his income will reduce and hopefully this will force him to have to work and you will get more CMS and possible weekend childcare too.