Do other parents see car seats just as cosmetic / a polite courtesy?

I think some UK parents see it as babying their child instead of understanding that it's about protecting the child's more vulnerable body.

My youngest was also small for her age - we just had a spare booster that I would hand over when another parent took her places and gave her a bag big enough to pop it in if that parent wasn’t bringing her home. It’s not difficult.

Yep! In Europe, they seem to understand simple physics much better.

The laws in the UK regarding car seat safety are very poor. And look at how many people don't even follow the law!

I remember once seeing another school Mum with her almost 3 year old in the front seat of the car in an adult belt with no child seat at all!

My mid teens rear faced until around 5 years and were in a 150cm high back booster until one outgrew it at 10 years and the other reached 12 and hadn't made it to 150cm. We switched that child to a booster cushion so that it was hidden until they were 150cm.

In fact, the one that outgrew at age 10 was gutted when they couldn't fit in it anymore. It was a Cybex one that had a reclining headrest for sleep and they slept a lot in the car! They found it very uncomfortable without the HBB for the next year or so until they grew a bit more.

It was that HBB that prevented severe head injuries to that child when we were hit by a lorry on the motorway before spinning 540°, ending up facing the wrong way on the carriageway and being hit head on by a car who couldn't stop in time (they sure as hell weren't expecting to see us facing the wrong way!)

If that child had only been on a booster cushion, they would have still had head injuries. I remember thinking as we were spinning "I might die but my kids are in the best car seats money can buy,". My OH and I had severe whiplash and a head injuries but thankfully the kids suffered no ill effects.

At 7 both of my boys well over the height range for a car seat, so if often forget that other people were still using them. But if course if their child was short and they wanted to provide a car seat I would use it!
Not everyone is super educated on car seat safety, it doesn't make them a bad parent or neglectful. Most parents are trying to do their best and most wouldn't deliberately put a child in harms way.

Children over the age of 3 are allowed to sit on the back seat, wearing the seatbelt if a car seat is not available, not enough space if it is unplanned journeys which are short distances and a couple other reasons

@Happyhappyday Sounds like you live in a much more sensible place 👍🏻☺️

My DC had booster seats past 8 years old because they were small for their age (I'm less than 150cm so not surprising) some other parents insinuated it was babyish I didnt take any notice.

As a firefighter who spends a lot of time fishing people out of RTCs - please just keep the car seats - a seat belt on a too small child does literally nothing to protect them!

And yet children on buses aren't even strapped in. ..

I don't think parents always consider the fact, if their child needs a car seat, then it stands to reason, the other children having lifts will need one too! Allowing a child to travel in a car without a car seat, when you know they either need a seat or booster is against the law. I would contact the Mum, and say that you will give her your car seat, for when your daughter travels to/from the party.

Most people don't realise children can't legally travel in the front seat of a car, without a car seat either (up until they are 12 or reach 135 cm). The amount of parents who allow children to sit in the front without a car seat, who clearly aren't 135 cm, is staggering. I see it all the time.

Car seats shouldn't be treated as optional extras.

Anecdotally UK parents seem way more lax about car seats then where I live (abroad). The laws also seem quite lax in the UK, the height limit for boosters here is also 145cm min to go without and I don’t know anyone who doesn’t follow it. It’s not legal to forward face a child before age 2 and most people I know kept rear facing until 4 as recommended. A lot of people kept until 5 or later.

In this situation we’ve always asked the person driving if they wanted us provide a booster seat.

Stick to your guns. They are safest in a car seat.

At 7? I think mine were just on booster seats by then but it was a while ago now. And I wouldn’t have turned down a lift because I didn’t happen to have a booster about my person unless it was a long motorway journey.

I don’t think it’s a big deal for a 5 minute journey in a low speed area.

However, children between 6-10 are the most likely to die in a car crash due to the fact most aren’t seated correctly in the car. Food for thought.

I've had this experience too! It freaks me out - what if they have an accident and their child is harmed and it's "my fault"?!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Trunki-BoostApak-Car-Booster-Seat/

We generally use this for lifts with friends

I've always just said 'do you need me to bring DC's car seat' and people either say 'yes please' or 'it's OK, we have a spare'.

If anyone said 'no, it'll be OK without one' I'd say I'll drive my DC instead and meet them there! But it's never happened.

We had 2 seats and a booster. When we organised dd’s 8th birthday party the other side of the city, dh and I decided it was easier and more exciting if we drove everyone. We took 2 cars and asked for car seats to be dropped off.

I wouldn’t have been ok with dd going in a car without a seat. But I know plenty of parents were a lot more lax than us.

I'd see this kind of instance like a short taxi ride. Bit different if the party is 45 mins away on the motorway but if it's a 5 mins journey through town traffic (10 miles an hour probably in our town) then I can't get too worried about it, probably safer than cycling.

Mine are big lumps now, but at that age we were always moving car seats about. I think they were high back boosters at that stage so easy enough to transfer from car to car. Or we'd have a spare booster cushion. I'm really surprised people are lax about it these days. And no one ever rolled their eyes at a parent caring about it.

@Aleopardneverchangesitssocks I get this all the time too. I don’t drive and DS and I are constantly offered lifts with no car seats 🙄
Ive had family actually fall out with me because I’m happy to walk my pre-schooler across town when it’s raining (😱 shock horror - we go out on foot when it’s raining!) rather that him “getting home dry and safe in the car” 🤯🤣

@Octagonchecker I would just say respond to the other parent saying that it sounds lovely and DD would love to go along and you’ll provide a car seat for her 🤷🏻‍♀️
I do believe people are far too relaxed when it comes to car seat safety. A mum we know drove past us the other day with her child sitting in the front passenger seat of her work van with the normal seatbelt on and no car seat. He’s just about to turn 3 😔
I know so so many parents who are happy using no car seats over the age of about 7 😔

Yes this too. When mine were in seats I always offered to send theirs. I also always had spare seats for cousins /friends etc.

We had spare boosters in the boot at this age for lifts etc. Some kids would bring their own.

Once they reached 135cm I wouldn’t overly worry if I didn’t have one for an occasional journey but under 135cm they always would.

Normally, everyone would bring their own. I think it’s weird you didn’t offer, hence why she felt she had to offer you hers.

I wouldn’t and didn’t care at 7. Most of my friends didn’t either.