Do other parents see car seats just as cosmetic / a polite courtesy?

I have a big car my grandchildren are 7 and 8 I keep booster seats in the boot.

Yes you are out of touch. My children were in a seat belt only by 7 but my grandchildren are not and they are tall for their age.

I have been told I was strange for insisting any child I pick up / drop off has a car seat. It’s so bad I now keep spare ones

It is a long while since car seats were not the norm and there were far fewer cars on the road but the cars didn’t have so many safety features as they do today. You just can’t compare.

As far as safety goes, you really have to consider the car your child is travelling in as well. They are not going to do so well in a small 15 year old car.

I’d like to know how many deaths there were before child seats were the norm?

With you OP. My children were in boosters until 140cm which is the recommended height in our country. I did not allow them in a car without a booster until that height. I also didn’t allow them in the front seat until they were ten.

You can get slimline travel car seats which would be a good compromise so you don't have to limit her or yourself with lifts etc.

We’d always drop off a car seat for a party or play date, yadnbu, at 7 it’s madness they don’t always use car seats!

Definitely normal to offer to lend your car seat in this scenario. Sometimes you'll get 'no, don't worry, older DD/DS won't be with us so we'll have a spare' but it's polite to offer.

I know a couple of people who wouldn't worry about it hugely or whose children went onto boosters pretty early for whatever reason - and it does get easier when you can use a booster as they're so much more portable. But I think generally, what people are getting at is that they expect you to sort the seat.

This is me and not afraid to admit it.

I am 100% with you OP. And when you out grow car seats the next issue is 4 teens in the back of a car and no one wears a seatbelt because they won’t fit. And people say “it will be fine this once” and “I’ll drive slowly”.

But my friend travelled in a limo without a seatbelt, slowly, and when the limo driver broke too hard she crashed face first into the panel behind the drivers seat. 20 years later she still has a twisted jaw, 20 years of migraines and pain, has undergone multiple surgeries, she is sadly quite disfigured, no amount of surgery is fixing her face completely. She was a very beautiful teen.

All because she wanted to go to the school end of year ball in a limo with her friends and despite her mum’s concern her friends’ mums pressured her mum into letting her go because “it would be ok this one time”.

Assuming the mum is either picking up the other kids from their houses, or you are dropping them off at a central location for her to take, why would you not just give her the kid's car seat too? The only reason I see a problem with that is is you and your kid were taking a bus or walking to another location to meet the mum with the car, but if she's picking up and dropping the kids from/to home, that's easy.

I refused to give another mum and her child a lift in this scenario, we were taking the kids on a day out and she asked if I could pick them up, I said I couldn't as I couldn't fit three car seats in the back of my small car, she said no worries as hers would just sit in the middle without one, I said no way. I know she did it with her own kid but no way am I driving someone else's small child (they were about 6) without a seat. Both of mine are in HBB though my oldest is now over 135, she's still comfortable and I know it's safer so why wouldn't I!

As others have said OP if they're over 125 I'd grab a spare booster cushion to lend out, if under then just meet them at pick up and hand over your HBB.

Iv given countless friends lifts/vice versa and we've always just lent the other one our car seat?

Stick to your guns for safety and offer to give them your seat at drop off. That’s what a few of us parents do round our way. Some have spares too.

Uk car seat laws are among the strictest in the world.

There will be fanatics on here with 11 year olds in cat seats.

Blimey, what age do kids stop using car seats??
We just used to pile into friends cars in the 80s and 90s 😂

Most people don't have spare car seats. I've never had spares? I have a spare booster (the sort without a back). Ds was always the tallest of his friends and was over 135cm by age 8, I just put him on the booster.

The norm is to offer to lend your car seat if your child is having a lift & you want them sat on one. When children get to junior school age people do tend to relax more about it & use booster cushions for these sorts of one offs that tend to be a short local drive.

If she is picking your daughter up, why can’t she take her own car seat?

Interestingly I did this and had infact bought 4 booster seats..

Send her with her car seat?

Kids in my class often bring car seats on a Friday for this exact kind of thing. Not sure the amount they get tripped over in the cloakroom is good for them though.

As far as I know buses are much, much safer than cars. Far less risk of injury/death in the event of an accident. I'm sure that's the case even accounting for having no seat belts.

In my experience - unless they’ve got a very tall 7 year old, parents turn up with a small backless booster in this scenario. The cuggl one from Argos is quite good - doesn’t take up lots of space to easy to fit all car seats in and inexpensive.

Oh local 30 roads I wouldn’t mind so much. Most are 20 in our town. Almost entirely.

Motorways I would be entirely insistent on car seats until the thresholds