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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if she overstepped the boundary or if I’m being unreasonable?

110 replies

Starinthesky1 · 28/03/2026 19:32

One of my clients (I’m a hairdresser) rang me out of the blue last night on my personal mobile (clients do have my mobile but they usually just ring the salon number and this particular client has never rang my mobile before so her number wasn’t saved in my phone so I just answered as it was a mobile number and didn’t know who it was at first) outside of work hours (she rang at 7pm) crying asking if I had time for a chat. I said I did and had a long chat with her, ended up on the phone for over 90 minutes. This isn’t a client I’ve previously been friends with, I do her hair but I mean we don’t have a friendship outside of that. She is basically having a tough time at the moment and could do with a friend/some support. I’m happy to support her but my DH thinks she overstepped the boundary because she’s a client and if I’m honest I did feel a bit uncomfortable at first when she called me last night but I am happy to support her. She has an appointment with me on Tuesday (she had this appointment booked before her call last night) so she could have spoke to me then too. Like I said, I am happy to support her but I do wonder if DH is right that she has possibly overstepped the boundary as I did feel a bit uncomfortable at first when she called. Has she overstepped the boundary or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
Starinthesky1 · 28/03/2026 19:46

I am concerned about her and that’s why I’ve said I’m happy to support her but I did feel a little uncomfortable to be honest. And I think DH is making me uncomfortable too to be honest because he keeps saying she’s crossed a boundary and he thinks I should tell her that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Starinthesky1 · 28/03/2026 19:44

Whilst I’m happy to support her I think it’s going to mean having to support her a lot because she basically told me she’s going through a very tough time in her life with lots of personal issues and family issues all at the same time and she has been messaging/calling me a bit since she called me last night too. She didn’t mention self harm or being suicidal to me on the phone last night but some of what she said was similar to how another friend spoke a few years ago when they were in that state of mind. I did feel a bit uncomfortable at first on the phone last night to be honest and DH is adamant he thinks she has overstepped the boundary.

OP posts:
Sassylovesbooks · 28/03/2026 19:44

My hairdresser has been looking after my hair since 2012, we have lovely chats when I visit her home salon. I like her, her eldest was a student at the school I work at and her youngest is currently a student. However, she's not a close friend of mine, and I'd never call her for personal reasons. I'm her client, we don't socialise together and she provides a service (a fabulous one!) that I pay her for.

Your husband is correct. This woman is your client, she isn't a person you'd consider a close friend, no matter how much you might like her. She shouldn't have called you on your personal mobile, and put you in an awkward position.

I'd be inclined to let this incident go. Make sure you store her number in your personal mobile, and if she calls you again, I'd ignore the call. You would then need to gently tell her that you're her hairdresser, and as much as you like her as a person, you're not equipped to help her.

TheCurious0range · 28/03/2026 19:43

I think if she's so desperate to talk to someone she calls her hairdresser who isn't a friend and doesn't know her very well, I'd be quite concerned about her

Original poster
Starinthesky1 · 28/03/2026 19:42

She hasn’t asked me for money.

OP posts:
Favouritefruits · 28/03/2026 19:42

It’s a tough one, personally I’d rather a person ring me in their hour of need I’d never want anybody to feel alone and have nobody to talk to but if you’re not comfortable with that sort of thing it’s not ok.

you’ve rightly not gone into detail about the persons issues but if she was suicidal wouldn’t you rather she picked up the phone to you who she obviously knew she could trust??

FMc208 · 28/03/2026 19:40

She’s a human being first a foremost, I would listen to any human being that reached out to me for a chat when they’re going through a tough time regardless of who they were.

We’re always telling people to talk when they’re going through a tough time, you might
be the only person in the world she feels
able to talk to. Does your DH lack empathy?!

StormyLandCloud · 28/03/2026 19:40

I can’t say I’d phone my hairdresser but I guess you discuss all sorts with them and mine knows my life inside out lol … speak to her Tuesday and maybe find out what the issue is, if she’s not already explained in that call .. it doesn’t hurt to give someone some support, no matter who they are. If she’s asks for money though say no lol

Itsmetheflamingo · 28/03/2026 19:37

I don’t think she can overstep a boundary- she was clearly desperate and maybe dialling anyone for a chat.

if you didn’t like it (and I’d hate it) the obvious thing to do would be to control/ manage the conversation yourself - ie end it, which you didn’t.

so no professional issue, but I think you need to work out how to take the lead next time

Leeds2 · 28/03/2026 19:36

I wouldn't like that at all, given she isn't your friend and you have a client/professional relationship.
I would probably block her number, or not answer if she rings again. Although I would probably wait and see what she has to say on Tuesday first.