What is your midlife crisis looking like?

My second child won't be 18 until I'm 58 so I need to hold out til then. But it coincides with the pension tax free lump sum and paying off the mortgage so my plan is to take 3 months unpaid leave and travel round Thailand/Malaysia which are my favourite countries in the world (from the ones I've been to!) It's the only chance I'll ever get to be free and do my own thing without stressing about work and money. I mean I may have to pay for uni I suppose but I'm definitely encouraging my second child to look into alternatives to university as it's a total waste of money unless it's vocational (as someone with an English degree!)

You've got this @WhyDoesItAlways ! Wishing you so much luck. One step at a time...

Getting so much inspiration from these posts. Im just 40,, in a bad relationship and convinced I'm entering peri.

Ive been surfing rightmove and found a house which is the only place I can now picture my future. On Friday I asked to up my hours at work. Next comes the awkward conversation with DP but one step at a time. Im aware thr house might sell before I can get everything organised but its helped me to crystallise what I want.

I don’t think I’m having one, hopefully it’s coming as these sound great! I really want to get strong for my own sake now and when I’m older but I’m really struggling with motivation. I want to wake up and not give a fuck what anyone else thinks but not there yet either. I have started hrt but maybe it takes a bit to get going?

Taken up wild swimming. I do it all year round; I’ve got the dryrobe and everything. I would highly recommend it.

Oh god, mine has been a disaster! A true crisis in some ways.

Major health event last year that has led to hearing loss and tinnitus. I resigned from my job and have sold my house.

I thought life was getting mundane, and had the feeling 'something' big was coming. I was expecting a lottery win. Instead I got a 2 week hospital stay.

After 40 years of following the 'script to success' I'm having to redefine how my future looks going forward.

Oh yes, this is also me!

Standing up to the mean girls.

I have always been able to stand up to people for others. But just this week someone more senior tried to bully me and I just was taking zero prisoners.

In the past I would have second guessed myself. Now I think … what an idiot she is. She picked the wrong woman!

I want the one you guys are having!
Watching RiotWomen on iplayer for inspo - it’s hilarious, sad and thought provoking re joys of midlife menopausal women who change their life by setting up a punk band

I went to uni at 43, wanted to as a teenager but parents wouldn't let me stay on to do A levels. Took so long as married young and had three children, youngest 9 when went to uni.

I think I'm in between the rock and roll version and the low energy version - I go to lots of gigs, ones that are typically maximum 200 people in basement bars on my own, don't drink and I read my kindle between sets!
I'm also learning to play guitar and have bought myself a beautiful blue electric guitar and lessons that I couldn't have afforded in my teens.

NB I feel I should caveat that I don't have kids and no longer have caring responsibilities for parents, fully appreciate that many in mid life are in the trenches with parenting so it's a very different experience.

You and me both 😪

@Onebattleafteramother @TheHouse me too actually.

I don’t think I’m having one yet, I had my youngest just before I turned 40 and still knee deep in toddlersville, which I love, so haven’t had time to be very philosophical. I have had a mad rush of creativity and a back to nature sort of vibe but it’s positive and productive.

I’m on the cusp - I can feel one incoming. Currently off work and I’m not returning until September.

@Onebattleafteramother I’ve just started the relentless colouring in too…. 🌺.

Your time will come. I wish you happier days ahead 😊

Great thread! Sport has always been a thing so I guess that's not a part of mine although I did some fairly extreme stuff in my forties!
Generally a bit more genteel now!
Started playing an instrument about 6 months ago and realised I can play by ear. Music generally has become much more important.
My fifities have been awesome and I was dreading it!
Generally not settling (for crap) in any type of relationship.

Sounds like me, having the best time of my life in my 40s!

...um. I got divorced and have taken up colouring in so I don't cry allllll the time.

I feel like I'm doing this wrong.

Dressing better and younger again, rediscovering my love of music and gigs, and sex
(but it’s not all good - several parts of my life are a disaster I would have never seen happening to me)

Midlife crisis is mini stage right now. Just went freelance after redundancy recently. So Bought diamonds with the redundancy money. Lost three stone in weight with mounjaro and went on HRT. Have my hair done professionally now rather than using nail scissors henna. That’s my midlife so far but I’m sure I might do a detour and change my route and seek another sort of life if something derails me.

I’ve just turned 40 so hoping there’s a better midlife crisis to come but so far it looks like a complete mental breakdown and 3 months off work 😭.

I think mine is about to start
I've quit my job to better support DCs but the side effect will be more time/headspace to sort myself out.

I didn't think I was having one

Except now, I feel like I want a relationship

Which is ridiculous because that's something I should've sorted out when I was younger if I wanted it

Also wanting to be away all the time - as if I'm running out of time to travel or something

Same!! Except that on top of all that, I'm eating my weight in chocolate and am now fat. In awe of all these ladies doing amazing things! Maybe we just haven't fully hit peak crisis yet!