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Original poster

To think I’m too hard on my ds age five?

30 replies

eatyourpizza · 28/03/2026 17:41

I feel like I’m too hard on my five year old ds, and he must hear a constant stream of nagging from me but equally I don’t feel I can ignore some stuff so I don’t really know what to do. It inevitably ends in my frustration tipping into annoyance and then he gets angry and upset.

Just now at the dinner table he would not sit up or sit down. He was jumping up and down from his chair, lolling and leaning so that he was lying across the chair with his head on the floor, then up again, running round then back and lolling again.

I don’t feel I can ignore it but equally I don’t want to be always on at him!

OP posts:
Bearbookagainandagain · 28/03/2026 18:05

eatyourpizza · 28/03/2026 17:56

@begonefoulclutter but if I did that he’d have it back in the dining room then ten seconds later be lolling all over the place again. I guess this is what worries me a bit - that can he do it or is it that he can’t? And if it is ADHD I don’t want to destroy his self esteem by constantly being on at him, but then even if he does have ADHD he has to learn to sit at the table!

If he's hungry and wants his dinner, he might try to get up again a couple of times but will learn quickly (if he is NT, I don't know about ADHD children).
We use the same method this poster has mentioned with both our kids and it worked perfectly.

The only time this doesn't really work is when they're not hungry or don't like the dinner we made. Could it be one of those?
Or did you ask him why he isn't sitting down?

Pearlstillsinging · 28/03/2026 17:56

Well nagging isn't getting you anywhere so a change of approach is needed.
The suggestion from @begonefoulclutter us a good one and definitely worth a try. Or, if he has finished his meal before the acrobatics start, let him go and play quietly where you can see him.

Original poster
eatyourpizza · 28/03/2026 17:56

@begonefoulclutter but if I did that he’d have it back in the dining room then ten seconds later be lolling all over the place again. I guess this is what worries me a bit - that can he do it or is it that he can’t? And if it is ADHD I don’t want to destroy his self esteem by constantly being on at him, but then even if he does have ADHD he has to learn to sit at the table!

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 28/03/2026 17:54

Expecting a neurotypical child to sit up sensibly for a reasonable period of time while he eats is not being hard on him.

begonefoulclutter · 28/03/2026 17:51

"Oh - don't you want your dinner? Never mind then".

Take his plate away and put it on the side in the kitchen. I can pretty much guarantee he will want it back immediately and at that point you say "Come and sit nicely then". If he doesn't sit nicely, take it away again and he goes without.

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