Wedding Aftermath

Reaching

I always wonder when I read these threads, whether the guests who feel put out or overlooked actually enjoyed the wedding at all, or if they’re only seeing it from their own perspective. The bride and groom invited you to celebrate their marriage, after all.

Most of these posts, this being the first one I’ve seen after the wedding, focus entirely on the guest’s experience and feelings. But did you actually enjoy the day for what it was? A wedding is about the couple, and ideally the people there are there because they genuinely want to celebrate that with them.

That’s just a fig leaf - she knew exactly her DH was asking - and if she was then aware of social etiquette she would have been so mortified by his excruciating behaviour on her behalf unasked for she would have righted that and declined - not rock up with her appalling behaved DD and allow her to disrupt and disrespect the proceedings.

There would be loads of people there that aren’t related to the B & G

Well yes, but presumably they would be people they knew - friends they had invited.

‘Thought so little of her family’?

They are clearly not that close so I don’t suppose they gave them any thought. They invited their relatives (OP’s husband and stepchildren) and Op (presumably because she’s the wife of a relative).

But it was her husband who asked ( we have no idea if he pushed) for the invite.

she was quite happy not attending

Fully agree, they shouldn’t have asked for an invite. Op shouldn’t have gone. Personally I wouldn’t want to go and celebrate the wedding of people who though so little of my family anyway.

Exactly! I don’t think Op has stated who the relatives were and if they are close with her children. You can’t ( and shouldn’t have to ) invite everyone to a wedding.

So children of blended families should be invited to every wedding on both sides?

If I remarried, should I be inviting my cousin's step-children who I've never met?
I could invite him, him +1, or him+1, his 3 DC, their 2 half-siblings and their 3 step-siblings. (I have never met the half- and step-siblings)

Their wedding. It wasn't half a family, it was the related half of a blended family.

The OP said she had plenty of childcare options but instead she chose to make the day about her children who then misbehaved.

Still, I’m sure it won’t be an issue in future as people will probably think twice about inviting any of you (including your step children) to future events in case of a repeat of this

Couldn't agree with you more.
Who does this?
I wouldn't want me or my children around them again.
I feel so sorry for children in blended situations.
It may work for some parents, but very very rarely for the children.

Funnily enough, pushing someone to invite your children to something which is not to do with them isn’t great on the etiquette front either.

Still doesn’t excuse having no etiquette. Incredibly rude and insulting of them to only class half of the family as worthy of an invite.

Being a guest and behaving appropriately aren’t mutually exclusive.

Having a special day and behaving appropriately aren’t mutually exclusive.

Bride and groom were super rude to only invite half a family.
Selfish bastards. It's not as if it was their special day.

What would you have done?

Not guilted the bride and groom into an invitation before making a fuss about the seating plan.

Having read your posts, that’s quite a compliment 😂😂

The 17 yo is also a stepchild. I'd imagine he was having a nice time with his dad, sibling and aunts/uncles (can be rare get togethers in some families) and was annoyed to be asked to be bumped down so his dad's new stepchild could take his place.

I don’t believe that. Men usually aren’t so forward thinking. I bet she wasn’t happy the children weren’t invited and nagged her DH to go and do something about it.

It wasn't 'cruel' not to invite them. FFS

An extended family member to their step dad is not necessarily their 'family', they may well not have even known them.

OP even says she had plenty of babysitting options for them with their actual family members. There was no reason to make any of this an issue and force the inclusion, which her husband did in the end.

You were completely unreasonable not to go to the wedding as your husbands partner, without your children who arent really related to the couple. However, given they had agreed to invite your children, it seems odd to sit you with your step children and not your actual children, who are younger and presumably dont know many people there. Probably better all round if your children hadnt gone, actually.

Entitlement? What part of my post suggests any entitlement? Other than stating a fact that most 17yo are better equipped to be sat with strangers than 9yo?
I’m glad I don’t know people has hyperbolic as you in real life. Drama llama!

This is different tho. Your cousin didn’t flounce on receiving his invite because his DCs weren’t invited - his DCs old enough to know better then didn’t behave in a disrespectful and disruptive manner during the main part of the celebrations and he then didn’t try to eject a wedding guest off their table with their family to reward the bad behaviour of the DC.

Also I highly doubt the OP has gone round to cut the grass of the B&G to express gratitude for their last minute accommodations. Instead they are still huffing about and doubling down on their series of ignorant and CF behaviours and desperately trying and failing to get anyone to agree that they were polite, gracious and impeccably behaved weddings guests on a couples most important day of their life.