Wedding Aftermath

I think that’s mean of DH’s family to do that, they’re young children. I once went to a wedding where DH was the best man and I only knew him plus the bride and groom. Consequently, I was sat at a table with people I didn’t know. Even as an adult I was nervous in the run up but they were lovely and we had a great chat. As a child, I would have been running over to my mum all the time.

I think this exactly what the op did..
The thing I don't understand is why were your step kids annoyed about it all

Its over so it doesn't matter.

Were the bride or groom close relatives of your DH?

What would you have done?
If I were you, I'd have stayed at home.
I would not be inviting children under 13 to my wedding, and your thread is an example of why not.

9 and 12 it says in op

You would have done better to have accepted your kids weren't invited in the first place.

You feeling weird about it and pulling out in protest made things harder than they needed to be. You could have just gone to the wedding without them, no fuss.

I don’t understand why you couldn’t have gone to a wedding without your children. Especially as you had appropriate childcare.

I think you swapping and going to sit next your daughter was the best thing under the circumstances but it should never have happened. Is your stepson upset because you don’t do anything just your DH and them?

Yes.

@Greenhairedmonstor
How old are your children???

It was not appropriate at all for your dh to ask for extra invites for ypur children
I hope you gave them a generous gift.

The best you can hope for now is time moves on and it fades in the background

How long have you been Married?
I wouldn’t be happy if my children wasn’t invited in the first place.
I probably wouldn’t have gone.

Why did you want your children there? I would have been delighted to go without them and enjoy myself.
I think it was rude of your dh to contact the groom but it was also silly of the B&G to put kids at a table with strangers.
A no win situation, just forget about it now.

But the step children were sitting with their family. Why should they have moved to accommodate the op’s children?

That. The step son was close family to the bride and groom. He doesn't get to be moved to a table significantly further away.

'my husband asked the groom if it would be possible to extend an invitation to my children which he kindly did'

It is so inappropriate to scrounge invites. With a dc and dsc situation you accept an invite or decline.

To then be swapping seats adds to the cringeness of it.

I'd send a note apologising tbh and tell your dh you don't ask for invites in future.

Your DH/you if if was your idea to contact the couple is the problem here.

They generously added your DC at the last minute, but it does appear they were an afterthought as it's an odd table plan choice otherwise. The other guests on the table they were on might've found the whole thing awkward, and your DSC were entitled to be irritated.

No she didn’t decline. Her husband contacted the couple before she has chance to, it seems.

I think she should have just accepted the invitation without children to be honest but I can’t see where she threw a strop.

Sure, he would have had to lie to his family and relatives because his wife threw a strop.

It sounds like it was all handled very awkwardly. You weren't wrong to decline, loads of people have to decline weddings or send one person of a couple if their kids are not invited. Declining isn't a tantrum. Sitting them away from you with strangers is a very odd thing to do, not sure what they were thinking there.

I’d have just gone with my DH and SC, arranged good childcare and had a good time.

You made a point by refusing to go unless your own kids went. If I’d have been the bride I’d have been annoyed. A wedding is so stressful without other people’s views on who should or should not be invited and where everyone sits. Table planning is hideous and your DC were last minute.

A wedding is not a social event for the benefit of others. Particularly where blended families are involved.

I love weddings and I don’t think there needs to be any drama, never had any issues in all the years I have attended weddings. I think lots of people choose to make them a traumatic experience with their strange behaviour.

Yes, I would have done exactly the same. Why do you always have to come as a set? It's not an enjoyable occasion for your kids anyway and you are within your rights to socialise independently. Refusing to come without your children was rather odd to begin with.

He didn’t have to tell them, his wife intended to decline. There’s many reasons people do t attend weddings. He asked presumably because he wanted his wife to go to the wedding

I would have done exactly the same op and not gone if my kids weren’t invited (no hard feelings just left dh to go spend time with his family. )
it was lovely of them to include your dc, it’s a bit awkward your dh asked and will have come across as him asking on your behalf but it also depends on how close they are.
id assume they sat your kids at a different table due to seating logistics but I feel
for them as I assume they wouldn’t know anyone. Your dd getting up is not ideal during service and swapping seats was the best thing to do. Your dh shouldn’t really have asked him to. I can’t understand why your sil or step children should be annoyed. It doesn’t affect them if you swap seats. I think you managed it on the best way and if anyone was funny about it they are rude.

Just wondering how many people feel like jumping off a bridge each time a wedding invitation arrives ...

He chose to because his wife said she won’t go. Imagine having to be put in the position to explain why your wife refuses to attend the wedding. Poor chap didn’t have a choice , did he?