AIBU to expect DH to take DD to the party?

They are not the only options. She's divorcing him anyway and when the financial settlement is sorted, she may be able to buy him out. The settlement will depend on their ages, earning capacity, length of relationship, children, and disabilities or vulnerabilities, pre nups etc. and will take into account all of their assets.

They're married. It's THEIR house. All assets are 50/50 unless agreed otherwise at the point of divorce.

If he is being an arsehole and won't move out then @Mrsmissunderstood either needs to continue subjecting the children to this hostile behaviour or move herself with the kids.

It's about deciding what is more important.

🤣🤣🤣

If its your house, just change the locks on him.

It's her house.

It is not immediately a marital asset. There are many circumstances to decide whether it is or not, OP said he didn't want to rent not he can't afford to rent. He may earn significantly more than OP and doesn't contribute to the house because there is no mortgage to pay - one such circumstance.

He's abusive, at least emotionally, to their child. @Mrsmissunderstood is most likely to have full custody and require to house the children full time, in the house she owns.

So take the kids and go and stay elsewhere.

You CANNOT subject the children to this. He is an absolute TWAT.

Stay with family and if needs be change the kids school. Rent somewhere else with you and the kids.

If they are married and living in the property then it's the marital home and a joint asset regardless of who's name is on the deeds. An exception would be if there is a separate agreement legally and specifically ring fencing the house for the op in only but this isn't the default. Op cannot legally terf him our of the marital home until they divorce.

How do you know it's not her house? You realise women can own houses before getting married.

@Mrsmissunderstood Good luck. Hope you get rid of this miserable bastard. He is emotionally abusing your daughter.

So you're in the process of a divorce? That kind of changes things. She's still his daughter but some people find these things difficult and if he doesn't want the divorce then he's probably going to be an arse. Not saying he's right but I think this is a bit of a drip feed!

It's still unreasonable for him to expect you to do the cleaning and take the child to the party.

Does your DH ever strip and sort wet beds?
I bet not.

You say DH wet the bed? If your adult husband has wet the bed the he presumably has a medical condition/disability and perhaps finds things that most of us find easy extremely difficult. If so, maybe he really is struggling? If not, he needs to see the doctor-wetting the bed needs investigating.
I don't think it's right that a man should feel uncomfortable taking his child to a party because there's "a load of women" there, as it shouldn't matter-parents are parents regardless of gender/race/religion etc, but it is a sad but true fact that some women act like men shouldn't be allowed at places (and sometimes this happens the other way around-a snooty man told my mum she shouldn't be in a working man's club in the 90s-she replied ok I'm not a man, but at least I work, so if only working men are allowed, you should get out too!).

As youre separated but living together I'd have put the dd first and taken her. To have her in tears was predictable and avoidable.

Get rid of him yes but don't fight infront of your poor kids.

@Mrsmissunderstood

I know you've filed for divorce, but did you speak with a solicitor first? I know that houses owned before marriage can get complicated when it comes to what is 'marital property' and what is not.

If you've spoken to a Sol, what did they tell you about making him leave? If they say it's possible, even if it's costly maybe you should consider it. If you haven't spoken to a Sol about 'it, you should. Even if you find out there's nothing you can do, at least you'll know for sure.

Do you mean it was solely your house before you married then he moved in later? Does he have nowhere else to go like his parents, a friend's place? Anyway, as a married couple and if he has no alternatives I don't think you can just change the locks and say off you trot. How long have you been together?
As for his lazy approach to parenting I presume that means he won't want 50/50 after the divorce which may suit you.

They're married...

Didn't you say it was YOUR house?

Your husband wet his bed?

If he has paid towards a mortgage and/or house upkeep, it's not just your house, regardless of whose name is on the deeds.

How old is DD? After 6 most parties are drop and, couldn't he have done that if didn't want to stay?

Just change the locks and call the police.ice if he kicks off. FFS this is ridiculous. Sorry I'm angry on your behalf.

If you're married, it's not YOUR house. We'll done for divorcing him.

Have you contacted Women's aid?
This is abuse of you and your child.
Keep careful notes.

You need better legal advice. He has to be forced to fuck off.

Point out to him that your life will also be changing as you won’t have to parent a grown man, listen to his irrational ramblings, watch him upsetting your children, clear up his mess.

In many ways your life will be changing in far more ways than his, as I doubt if divorce will give him the impetus to clean up his life, take responsibility for his own actions, start parenting etc. I am willing to bet he will move back in with his mother - who bears a great deal of the responsibility for his lack of understanding about what being an equal partner and a good parent means - and simply carry on with his life as SlobMan.

Of course you're not being unreasonable, but this behaviour is presumably part of the reason you're divorcing him. Deep breaths. You'll be amazed at the giant weight that will lift off your shoulders once he finally moves out. It's hard now, but you just have to make it to the final divorce stage, then you'll be able to start over. (Accept that if he's a useless wanker now, he's not going to turn into a wonderful dad later, and he will probably continue to punish you for having the temerity to divorce him. You'll continue to be both parents - which is even more grating if he acts like a Disney dad or pretends to be delightful around other parents but is a shit to you in private - but it will be much easier to do this when you only have to worry about parenting your actual child, not a man child as well.)