To refuse to pay for his dental implants?

I would always say go for implants, to avoid further erosion of bone and avoid that sunken jaw look that people get. BUT he really does need to stop smoking, etc.

Id rather divorce than act in a way that controls another adult like that. It just isnt who I'd want to be and it would be too easy to start to steamrolling them into who I think they should be.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to expecr him to use his own savings for this. It is cosmetic work and he is having to repalce them though his own failure to follow post surgery instructions.

I said you sre unreasonable because I dont think you should be able to veto your partner. And unless he puts absolutely no contribution into your family, it isn't just you "funding" it either.

I think you're taking a paternalistic stance here that I would NEVER tolerate in a partner.

YANBU, you really have to look after implants. I had one implant 11 years ago after a root canal failed (it was not a good one anyway having been done when I was a student by a rubbish dentist) and the tooth was extracted.

I was told I needed to do a lot more work to keep it clean - daily flossing, inter dental brishes, regular hygienist appointments. I also have a special implant check once a year.

Even with all that, during covid when I could not get to the dentist for a bit I got a mild infection around the gum, which luckily cleared up with antibiotics and deep cleaning.

I am surprised they did a lot of implant work if he is a regular smoker - it was one of the first questions I was asked in the consultation.

I wouldn't.

And I have five implants (had a lot of trauma to the face) and having implants is a privilege.

If he can't even look after the ones he has, there is absolutely no way I would be contributing to even more. This one failed due to his lifestyle. Hence so will the next one.

Mine were done by a maxillo surgeon and I clearly remember the discussion prior to my surgeries about smoking. I don't smoke, but he said if I did he wouldn't do the surgery until I stopped or I he would advice me to approach another surgeon. Apparently there is double the chance of implant failure due to smoking.

He should just get dentures.

The implantologist at my dentist’s refuses to treat smokers. Says it’s unethical to take their money when the risk of failure is so high. Don’t waste your money if he can’t look after his teeth.

He is a prime candidate for peri implantitis. He would just be wasting money.

What treatment does the £100 per month cover?

Like you, I would be very reluctant to fund new implants when he ignores all the advice from his dentist and his lack of dental hygiene and his smoking and drinking to excess have caused his current implants to fail.

He obviously can't be bothered to act on the advice from his dentist so, if he gets new expensive implants, he will probably go back to ignoring the dentist's advice and you will be back in the same position in a few years time.

Yanbu.
In life you need to help yourself.

We are late 30s, early 40s both of us have shit gums.
We have the iO brushes the floss the tepes the hygienist blah blah blah

Because we dont want our teeth falling out of our heads.

This isnt one bad choice (ie he broken the denture) it's systematic failure on his part (he broke it, prob because he doesnt wear it consistently, ignored replacing it etc etc )

You'd be throwing good money after bad on it

He sounds very reckless.

Not looking after his teeth is bad enough but smoking and drinking excessively is unforgivable.

I wouldn't want to help him either.

Can't help go for the cheaper option of dentures