To refuse to pay for his dental implants?

I had implants because of antibiotics as a child so they crumbled. I paid for them myself. Ditto my private healthcare.

He pays for his own teeth.

No £7000 is quite enough, if he wants to not look after his teeth and sit on his denture l think he should be on his own paying for more work.
if he doesn't look after them it would be far cheaper and more sensible for him to have them all out and have a decent set of dentures made- at his expense, why should the family suffer because of his bad personal decisions?

He should definitely have the dentures OP, the implants don't stand a chance.
My late mother had the same dilemma years ago and couldn't give up smoking so she went for the dentures with no regrets.

Pack of 20 cigarettes at say £20 x 365 days = £7300 which he could to put towards his implant treatment cost - if he chooses to stop smoking?

Smoking cessation means he could choose to pay for his implants with his savings over say 16 months - if he wants to?

Otherwise dentures…

My dentist confirms the difficulties he has treating smokers due to vascular changes and compromise.

Look up kreativ dental budapest
Ive just booked to go in April as it's about a third of the cost of having it done here. It's totally not like going to Turkeym. Many top dentist's have trained in Budapest

Are you on the Smile plan?

Perhaps you could remind him that poor dental hygiene is one of the causes leading to dementia

DH has always had terrible teeth but he had the worst breath imaginable for about a year before a dental check up, and he had such a bad infection that had gone into the roof of his mouth that he had a hole in the palate. He had to have a bone graft which needed months to embed, then 4 implants at the front and it cost nearly £15k at a private specialist. He still only cleans his teeth once a day, and goes far less than he should to the dentist. Luckily we have separate finances because I wouldn't contribute a penny towards it.

You're well within your rights to say No to this, OP.

Just a thought, as he is 58 has he got a small work pension pot he can withdraw to pay for it?

Mr Monkey is doing that with a small pot he has from a job he had for a couple of years to pay for some expensive dental.treatment. That said he does also have a pretty decent final salary pension due when he is 67 so this little pot is not needed for retirement.

Tell him to quit the fags and booze and he will have the money for his dental work in no time.

I wouldnt pay that for him. If he continues drinking to excess and smoking it would be a waste of time because hes staring liver disease in the face

Since he won't take proper care and follow guidelines about his implants, they've failed. Why throw good money after bad?

In which case he gives up the fags and alcohol and saves up the money he needs.

There is no point paying that much money for dental work when he can't even be bothered to look after himself.

You could go on a fab family holiday for that!

With your husbands lifestyle, implants are not a good use of family finances.
many dentists will refuse to treat smokers with implants so it’d be a waste of time

I have implants after an accident. Never smoked, don’t drink now.
Since I had them done I’ve saved as I know at some point they made replacing.
I dread it, but I take care of the ones I have, go to check ups, follow all advice.
Similar age to your husband.
Friend of mine had implants in Turkey last year as well as some crowns. Smokes and drinks. The whole lot are loose and she can’t afford to go back.
What happened with his denture shows his complete lack of care for himself.
£9000 is probably quite reasonable for the UK now, but in a couple of years the whole lot will fail.
Implants are good in that they help to retain your bones, but smoking robs your health of so much. And the constant sucking motion dries your mouth out, which means your mouth doesn’t stay clean, and you are in the situation your husband is in.
I would tell him whatever his decision is, he pays.
Every person I know with implants who smokes have not had viable implants after 3/4 years.

If he wants implants he should give up smoking and drinking and save for them. They’re not an essential of life. It’s not ‘paternalism’ or controlling to expect an adult to make responsible choices, rather the opposite!

I’ve lost 2 teeth due to mechanical damage rather than poor hygiene - neither was suitable for an implant for different reasons. I’ve got a bridge for the front incisor which seems fine (does depend on having good firm adjacent teeth of course) and the back molar I’ve just left - it doesn’t seem to be causing any issues and doesn’t show.

Yeah, no.
YANBU.

I don't think it should be a case of saying no but having a proper discussion with your husband that it is a lot of money and his implants are more likely to fail due to his smoking.

Does he want implants enough to quit smoking to make them more lilely to be successful long term and so that money can go back in the pot or would he rather have a denture? You may find (sadly) that he would rather have a denture than quit smoking. As suggested by a previous poster he needs to spend some time smoke free before he goes ahead.

I take good care of my teeth and general health and I still wouldn't expect my partner to fork out for my medical bills, likewise he sees to his own.

Which tooth is it? Would a bridge be an option

Does he not have any money or savings of his own. I always think it is a good idea in relationships to maintain your own savings for stuff like this.

Also implants are not essential medical treatmenr. The NHS will offer essential treatment to make him dentally fit. Implants are mainly cosmetic. Yes, they are better than dentures or a bridge but he has shown he is unable or unwilling to look after jmplants and TBH I am surprised he was seen as a suitable candidate in the first place.

You being in control of the family finances doesn’t mean you have the right to deny your husband spending money he earned on something that will make a significant impact on his wellbeing.

I understand all your concerns and why you might feel resentful that he hasn’t looked after himself as well as he should have done, but his failings there are pretty normal in human terms. Most people could do more to look after their health, but if they don’t they don’t become unworthy of receiving suitable treatment.

OP, if you'd prefer things to be different, and acknowledge he's a manchild...... That different life would come by leaving him. How far are you from that? There's only so much exasperation I could put up with before enough was enough.

Unfortunately his new implants will likely fail. Mine are under a warranty that is only valid if i have two dental checks and two hygienist appointments a year. No point spending thousands on something else that won't last.

What does his smoking cost? As the money manager i'd say OK he can have the implant in 4 months, if he gives up smoking within 1 month and remains given up for the 3 months so that the implant stands a chance and also the smoking money can contribute to the cost rather than taking away from your daughter.

But then I'd also be reconsidering life with this drain of a manchild when you already have the challenges of a disabled child to consider...