AIBU to think 80s parenting was often hands-off and unsupervised?

On a sidenote, TV was more gentler paced and the bad guys got their just desserts. Unrealistic though it may have been, lol, it sent a better message.

My childhood was the same but my mum never drank (still doesn't know). I think all parents were much more hands off than now. Not necessarily a bad thing in some respects though awful in others.

Very typical of childhoods in the 80s

Yep sounds familiar. Most of the time my parents never knew where we were. We used to go out first thing and only go home for feeding and back out again. All the kids used to play outside together or go down the adventure playground for the whole day. Loved it down there. This was before health and safety regulations was strict, it was so much fun.
The mums used to take it in turns at the weekend sitting on each others front step getting pissed 😂

My first child was born in 1983 and I also don't recognise the style of parenting described in the OP.
I had four children and I always knew where they were.
They weren't allowed to play in the street. I went to the park with them. I wouldn't have dreamt of sending them there on their own.

I recall sometimes cooking three different options for dinner, because they didn't all like the same things.

I rarely drank alcohol, and if I did, it was after they'd all gone to bed.

I drove them to activities.

I supervised their homework.
I read them stories when I put them to bed.

I worked as a midwife, usually part time when there was a baby or toddler in the mix. My husband looked after the children when I was at work. I worked at the weekends so that he could do this. He worked Mon - Fri.

I do not recognise what was going on in the OP at all - it sounds more like the 1960s, when I was growing up.

Even then, I wasn't allowed to play out.
And I definitely remember my mother cooking different foods for my sister, because she didn't like some of the things on offer.

YABU.

Kids are not routinely abducted. Isn't there some stat that it's about one child a year who is abducted and killed by a stranger in this country, and it's been like that for years? Horrific, but in terms of the bad things that could befall your child, very unlikely.

I agree with you, but it does tickle me whenever someone talks about their adults children being "successful and in happy relationships, so I must have done something right".

My husband (who I love very much) is obese, in a six figure job that makes him anxious, has mental health issues, and although I love him, drives me batty. MIL would happily say that all the things she did as a parent "did no harm".

We none of us will every really know how good our parenting was.

And that’s why everyone is exhausted, stressed and anxious

I so relate to this! Weirdly controlling about what to eat, wear, how to behave in front of other people they want to impress but the rest of the time- yeah just crack on without us, off you go and be back home by 7pm, we dont want to know what you've been up to the entire day on your own. You could be doing all sorts of horrific shenanigans but as long as you are wearing what we want you to wear and are eating what we say its all good.

Utterly bizarre!

70's and 80's me - my mum was a fab mum. She was kind, fair and caring and had a sense of humour and a sense of fun. Yes, we were allowed out a lot with friends but she always knew where we were and strict times to be home.

I think parents are more controlling now and also protective, but in some homes that's gone too far. Children that are allowed to fail, to solve problems, to accept that sometimes things are beyond their control means they grow up to be healthier adults when it comes to dealing with problems. I see it on here on MN, where parents go into meltdown if their child wasn't invited to a party. My mum would've just said that's life, but it's ok.

My eldest was born 87.There was more of "it takes a village" around here anyway.We knew their friends and their parents and it was common for us to arrange to transport a few or watch a few on the understanding it would be paid back in time. They were unlikely to misbehave out of the house because they knew I would be told of any misdemeanour.
I still live in the house mine were raised in overlooking the park where mine and their friends played most days. There was an unwritten understanding that any of them could come here if needed and I would call their mum,give them a plaster, a drink, spare clothes much like if they went to a different area a different parent would do the same.

The park now is largely unused even during summer holidays. The football pitches are only used for Sunday League and the play equipment mostly abandoned.I find it pretty sad when I remember the swathes of children on there after school,at weekends and in school holidays
I read to mine but rarely played with them outside of board games but there was always siblings and friends about anyway.
With school there was the understanding that if they hadn't done the homework then they could take the consequences. Mine mostly did theirs without help or supervision and they wouldn't have complained to me if they had got into trouble over it.
I have a grandson now and I think I would likely have found it quite tedious and suffocating to parent how dd does. Grandson is always entertained, always has attention focussed on him where I quite enjoyed that they knew how to entertain themselves and were more independent of me.

My mum was at home. She cooked but that was about it really we were expected to amuse ourselves. The positives were that we had more freedom than kids currently. However we also had exposure to some very dark things. I got sexually assaulted twice. Once by a teacher and our school had a surprising amount of drugs and violence. I did not tell my mum about the assaults as I did not think I would be believed. Particularly with the teacher. He was quietly dismissed when I spoke to a female teacher who I trusted. I do not think I would go back to those times.

I was a child in the late 70s and 80s. My parents didn't give me as much freedom as many of my friends but we were actively encouraged to go out to play and as long as we came home for meals no one really asked where we went to. I remember being about 8 years old and cycling round calling for friends and gathering a group of us who would then play at one of several parks/woods etc until at it went dark. If the weather was bad we'd sometimes end up in someone's house to play but no parents ever asked if our parents knew where we were etc. In the school holidays my older brother was often left in charge all day from when he was about 13 and I was about 8 (he was a nasty bully but that's another thread). Other than brownies, there were no adult organised clubs/activities.
But like OP, in other ways my parents were oddly restrictive.

This. I don't think today's parenting is doing kids many favours.

I had a 90's childhood similar to the OP's and loved it. Not sure what the complaints are all about. I had so much fun.

Oh my goodness yes the flashers. There were so many.

I was going to nightclubs at 15 too for the gigs, never drank just liked dancing and listening to the music.
My mum and dad knew and I never lied to them, they trusted me not to be an idiot.
I totally agree about the online thing, so glad that was after my time.

@MrsLizzieDarcy child abduction rates (by a stranger) are low and have always been low. I think some huge cases made parents more aware of the risk though.

Risks from traffic have definitely increased though. And anti social behaviour which makes us all feel more unsafe.

I could have written this myself! Even down to my parents jobs.
I loved it, have so many happy memories of the house parties, the karaoke machine coming out and my mum putting on a proper 80s buffet of vol au vents and cheese and pickle hedgehogs.
We talk about it often, thanks for reminding me!
Neither of my parents drove so we walked and took the bus everywhere as we couldn't get lifts or picked up. My friends drive 50 miles each way to drop off and collect their kids on a Saturday night, we just never had that luxury.

They are all on the Internet or apps sending d*ck pics.

Have child abduction rates gone up?

I’m not sure children are routinely abducted these days. Our perception has changed.

I personally think children are overprotected in the real world and under protected in the online world

Growing up I had a lot of freedom. I lived in a small village and from about 8 we’d disappear off all day and just be back by tea time?

I definitely think my parents were on the relaxed side when I used to go to clubs at 16. I don’t remember having a curfew. But I never had to lie to them. So who knows if they got it right. I was pretty street smart at a young age. We do need to learn how to handle lots of different situations.

Are parents saying they are more supervising and present compared to the past - and at the same time needing to give kids screen time to get things done