AIBU to think 80s parenting was often hands-off and unsupervised?

Please can you tell me what it was parents were doing in the 80s (based on my OP) that parents aren't doing today, to help me understand why today's parents are lazier.

A strange man tried to get me in their car when I was 10. When I told adults, (teachers and family) not one person cared!

Makes me shudder a lot.

I'm so glad things have changed for the better!

I've seen maybe 1 post where a poster's mentioned watching TV with family. I think you're reading and referencing another thread.

Come on knock out ginger was one of the main games we played.

How could it have been horrible or neglectful when kids turned out pretty well in them daye because we were raised properly! There was no boy racing in the 80's, no 12 / 13 year olds still wandering the streets at 10pm at night and causing trouble! We didn't have youth trying house and door constantly in the early hours of the morning back then! I could on and on about the parenting fails of today compared to when I was growing up in the 80"s! We were more trustworthy back then because that's how we were raised so we didn't need over bearing parenting.
Too many parents these days want their kids to have syndromes or anxious at school etc, it was a lot more no nonsense in those earlier generations also parents back then didn't try to take little kids to inappropriate places or drag so many tiny tots on flights, they accepted that little kids don't belong in certain places until the were a bit older.

Is this familiar to anyone else ? I was born in the 80s, my Dad worked a physical job long hours, often away and seemed to mostly sleep when home. My Mum worked part time, mostly school hours, although not when we were little, but she wasn't really a present mum, definitely not child focussed. I don't remember her ever playing with us, although she did read and sing to us at night.

I am 1 of 3 children, so was lucky I had 2 siblings to play with and keep me occupied. In the summer we spent a lot of time outside playing with neighbouring kids, this was without adult supervision, kids ages would range from 5-12, we'd be booted out at 9am. Go in for lunch then back out until 5, we'd go on adventures, get chased by farmers, the big kids looked after the little kids. Were streets safer? There were definitely less cars and more kids, so safety in numbers perhaps.

At home we had a television and a commodore 64, although spent more time watching the commodore 64 load than we did playing it. But I watched Tele, loads of it, Lassie, black beauty, little house on the prairie, the Walton's , neighbours, home and away, blockbusters, why don't you, heart beat, grange hill, BykerGrove, button moon, playschool, T bag, Timmy Mallet, the list is endless and I watched it all without parent oversight.

My parents and their friends, mostly our mum's, drank a lot at weekends, I remember many gathering aged from 5-11 either at our house or friend's where our mum's would get drunk and in the summer we kids would roam outside. We didn't get in to trouble, though I think that's due to luck more than anything. In the winter we'd pile in to a bedroom playing hide and seek in the dark , telling ghost stories, calling up spirits, playing truth or dare and raps (card game).

Even at the beach the parents didn't seem to supervise us, all the kids would be in the sea, mums sunbathing / sleeping but the older kids looked after the younger ones. Again it was probably more luck than anything that we didn't get into trouble.

All sounds quite lovely really even with absent parents although my mum was definitely present if we misbehaved or made a fuss and would give us a smack across our legs for bad behaviour and from memory I think we must have been pretty bad and often!

I just wondered really if my childhood was so totally different to everyone else's as reading posts on here, it seems everyone used to do it so much better than the parents who are doing it today. Don't get me wrong I had a happy enough childhood and my basic needs were met but just because my parents didn't give me a handheld screen to watch doesn't mean they were present and doing it better than the parent today who does.

AIBU - that is not how it was in the 80s for you and your parents were way more present than parents are today.

How could it have been horrible or neglectful when kids turned out pretty well in them daye because we were raised properly! There was no boy racing in the 80's, no 12 / 13 year olds still wandering the streets at 10pm at night and causing trouble! We didn't have youth trying house and door constantly in the early hours of the morning back then! I could on and on about the parenting fails of today compared to when I was growing up in the 80"s! We were more trustworthy back then because that's how we were raised so we didn't need over bearing parenting.
Too many parents these days want their kids to have syndromes or anxious at school etc, it was a lot more no nonsense in those earlier generations also parents back then didn't try to take little kids to inappropriate places or drag so many tiny tots on flights, they accepted that little kids don't belong in certain places until the were a bit older.

How could it have been horrible or neglectful when kids turned out pretty well in them daye because we were raised properly! There was no boy racing in the 80's, no 12 / 13 year olds still wandering the streets at 10pm at night and causing trouble! We didn't have youth trying house and door constantly in the early hours of the morning back then! I could on and on about the parenting fails of today compared to when I was growing up in the 80"s! We were more trustworthy back then because that's how we were raised so we didn't need over bearing parenting.
Too many parents these days want their kids to have syndromes or anxious at school etc, it was a lot more no nonsense in those earlier generations also parents back then didn't try to take little kids to inappropriate places or drag so many tiny tots on flights, they accepted that little kids don't belong in certain places until the were a bit older.

I think that is why we all became helicopter parents. Our own parents - 1960s to 1980s were just neglectful and although that gave us some wonderful freedom and taught us resilience, it also made many of us feel rather invisible and bred a lot of low self-esteem. It also, as OP said, led to us surviving by sheer luck on more than one occasion.

Looking back, I think I over-compensated, and wish I'd let DC solve their own problems more often. That said, DS2 has autism and ADHD and maybe he never would have. He may well have floundered and become really socially isolated or depressed without all that extra attention and vigilance.

Broadly my experience. The problem for my child is that if all the other local kids are at multiple activities, there is no-one to play with, added to the fact that a lot of 3 and even 4 bed family homes in our area are occupied by childless or retired couples, so there simply isn't a large mixed age group of kids anyway.

So? You write it as if it's a bad thing.

My childhood was similar, and kids are being raised in very similar ways now, where I'm from. Except for unsupervised swimming in the sea.

I see it somehow differently than you, though. We, kids, weren't 'booted out' from 9 am. We weren't forced to go out and play with our friends; we were raring to go. And actively upset if we weren't let out for one reason or another (illness, etc). Staying in and 'playing with my parents' instead of playing with my friends outside would have felt like punishment, not 'positive parenting'.

Watching tv unsupervised. Yes, we watched all kinds of cartoons, Lassie, etc. So? What's to supervise here? Sit with a kid and watch cartoons together? Just why? Or that kids saw some more adult stuff (horror movies, etc) earlier than 'allowed'. Yep, we sure did. It was fun and felt naughty. Don't see the problem.

Parents partied on weekends. Yes, mine did. Friends' parents too. And we, kids, stayed late, played games, and probably ate too much candy. Felt like a party to us too. It wasn't every weekend. Again, I'm no St Nun or MNetter with a 'thimblefull of sherry on Xmas' and don't see a problem with this. I'm now an adult, I have a teen, and I have drinks on weekends (and have had since she was a small child). Not even going to pretend to be sorry for it. That's normal.

Superwising when swimming - yeah, that should be done. And it was done in my case.

I was born in '88. To be honest, I'd much rather have my own childhood, and as I said, the kids have similar childhoods back home now in 2026. Than the UK helicopter bullshit. I'm not an extension of my kid, I'm not her personal plaything or clown, I'm not going to 'entertain' her every spare second of the day when we're together. It's healthy for a kid to learn to be alone, to entertain themselves by reading, playing, drawing, being with friends, etc. More independence is needed.

What my country does better is much less screen time, every teen is not riddled with 'anxiety', they're more independent, resillient and aren't being driven to school until they're 16 because mummy is scared to let them go on a bus alone. I prefer that, thanks.

You literally said that the parents of the 70s/80s were just as lazy as the parents of today. I massively disagree. I think giving kids ipads as a way of not having to deal with them is lazy. I think the way we were raised was healthy.

Even back then we had some kids like that. They weren’t allowed out with us , or to be home alone or do various things. Or some were just lazy as fuck . I remember my uni bf complaining he was starving and his mum wasn’t yet home from work. He grew up the same as I did, he was just a lazy twat.

For reference, my 14 yo gets her own uber when needed.