AIBU to feel overwhelmed by DHs job search in his 50s, business collapse and family illness?

If you are in work and earning, have you sat down with a years worth of bank and credit card statements and worked out how much you need to live and pay bills and also live, pay bills, buy clothes, eat out and go on holiday, retrain and put a little aside against what your income is.

Might sound strange but if you can see in black and white what you need it might just change his job search criteria. If the difference between the figures for you to have a comfortable life and what you are earning is eg £1600 per month then getting agency work or other hourly paid jobs might be the way to go in the short term. Look around at things like extra work, event staff, eBay business. Buying and selling stuff
Huge difference in applying for a job on £40,000 per year when you only need a £30,000 per year job and a big difference between having to get 1 big jobs and having the equivalent income after tax from several agency type jobs and small businesses

It's an awful job market for many people at the moment. Current crisis in ME won't be helping at all which is truly awful for people seeking work.

However some sectors are still employing, civil service, MOJ (especially prisons) defence, healthcare, green energy. There are also niche markets like wine growing that might need comms, marketing. Also does he have an security clearance, could he apply as that can add an extra "qualification" that will stand out for some CVs.

Good luck..hardest part is keeping morale up during the long search.

When DH was made redundant during covid (he’d worked in the same place for over 20 years), Careers Wales were really helpful about getting his CV up to a good standard, advising about what to put on LinkedIn etc.

I’m not sure where you live but do get him to look into services like that in your area, it’s not just for teenagers.

Good luck, it really is shit xxx

Your DH might become eligible for funding for a second degree from Jan 2027, if he's still under 60 at that time.

Or perhaps teaching is something he could research? Maybe Business Studies?

I hear security work is not ageist. You can do training to get qualified but just a short course that you pay for.

Sympathies, my brother is going through something similar, and it's really difficult for him 💐

Yeah my DH freelance work declining slowly. Tough times financially. It absolutely sucks! Solidarity.

To all the posters in the media industry... It's one I know well... I think the core issue is that it's been allowed to be ever more concentrated within a few hands, and repeated disruptions have been allowed to happen with barely any regulation. And yet, it's one of the most valuable sectors in the UK! It's infuriating to read that 46% of people in the media are no longer employed. How can anyone find a good job if the industry itself doesn't know where it's going - or even what it is anymore.

I was also going to suggest the civil service. If he finds something to apply for then it’s worth asking on here, reading around more broadly, maybe using AI to help with the application and interview prep, as the CS has a very formulaic approach to recruitment- you need to get ticks in the right boxes ao you have to present your experience and skills in a particular way.

Sorry everything is so hard. I don’t blame you for feeling overwhelmed and hope your life gets easier soon.

Get his cv through chatGPT, the problem is now CV’s are being screened by AI before they’re even looked at by a human, so you need to re-write your cv to include certain words for the job you’re looking at to get past that screening. A good prompt to put in is ‘update this resume to be fully optimised for applicant tracking systems for the role of (insert role) insert industry specific key words naturally.
Or
act as a recruiter for (insert role/job title) review my resume below & highlight weak areas, overused buzzwords, and missing metrics, be brutally honest’
And
‘tailor this CV to fit this specific job role (insert job description) highlight matching experience and reword sections to match the language used’
worth a go!

looking for jobs: have applied for over 50 in the past 18 months and have had two interviews and no offers.

Fuck! @Thepeopleversuswork That's really depressing, I feel for you.

Love your fuck you attitude. So true.

^If the industry feels that my 30 years experience in two careers is worth nothing then it can do one. Fucked if I am allowing it to impact my self esteem.
Not sure that helps you much but if nothing else we owe it to ourselves to remember our self worth.^

Well said.

Is there something he would be interested in retraining in?
When we were having some building works done recently one of our electricians was an apprentice and must have been in his late 40’s I would guess.
He didn’t say what he had done previously but had said he had become fed up with the long hours desk job he had been doing and had decided rather than plodding through the next 20 working years gritting his teeth he would do something he was interested in.
One of my friends retrained as a teacher in her late 40’s as well and worked in Aldi until she graduated.
Fingers crossed he finds something soon

On the practical side sending off a CV and hoping will not work. Best advice i had from a recruiter was CVs now are sifted by AI so applications need to be tailored every single time to the specific requirements in the job description. The closest matches as determined by AI will get an interview.

With most vacancies receiving 100s of applicants your CV and application is highly unlikely to be read by a human until interview.

Remove lines, tricky fonts or niche abbreviations from your application as AI cannot read and will be rejected.

Agree public sector is a good option for over 50s.

I'm in your husbands age bracket, and my peers who are experiencing similar job implosions have used it to reflect, work out a plan of what to do until they can retire. Basically a job downsize, and drawing down on pensions at 55.

Obs. This depends on finances etc. But none of them have bothered getting back into 'the thick of it' with a big job.

They are very happy and I am very envious!

I know several people in DH's situation, some of them under 40, so it's not his age. It's bloody AI etc taking over jobs. Somehow he needs to get back his confidence in himself and think what he can do to find fulfilling work not necessarily in his chosen field. My friend with a fine history of producing documentaries is now working as a gardener and just finding a few weeks of film work a year. Coaching or counselling may help your dh move forward.

Following in solidarity as I am in this industry and in a similar position. Not unemployed (yet) but looking for jobs: have applied for over 50 in the past 18 months and have had two interviews and no offers.

To be honest instead of making me depressed its made me feel a bit fuck you to the whole industry and I want out.

If the industry feels that my 30 years experience in two careers is worth nothing then it can do one. Fucked if I am allowing it to impact my self esteem.

Not sure that helps you much but if nothing else we owe it to ourselves to remember our self worth.

If he has been self employed for a long time, it could be his job application skills and general workplace skills are out of date, the workplace has changed a lot in 20 years and being an employee is very different from being in charge of your own business.

I would recommend getting some advice and perhaps a careers professional to check applications are up to date and targeted to what employers want.

Is he just applying for other jobs or is he networking or anything?

I'm due to be made redundant at the end of April and what I'm finding about the current job market is you really have to really put yourself out there. Even on places like linkedin, it's not enough to just send your CV off, you need speak to the recruiting agent for the job and ask if they can give you feedback.
My diary is pretty full at the moment with interviews, speaking to recruiters, messaging people on Linkedin, women in tech networking events etc.....I have two meetings booked in for next week. I even applied for one job and then called them to ask if it could pay any more so now have a meeting with the head of department next week to discuss. I also applied for a job that I did 10yrs ago in which the interview turned in to something completely different and could be an amazing opportunity if they decide they want me.

Obviously I don't have anything concrete yet but the process has really pushed me and it has definitely changed from last time. If all else fails I will get a local part time job as I can't imagine not working while looking for a better job.

If he does decide to try changing direction, then on CVs / applications etc he should focus on his skills (if his experience isn't v relevant)

I don't work in his field but changed direction and it turned out brilliantly

i think it sounds very overwhelming. I would reiterate checking you are getting everything your household is entitled to. Checking entitled to website, also carers allowence for your sh whilst he isn’t working if your father is in receipt of attendance allowance- it’s about the same as job seekers ( which after paying stamp is not means tested and is payable for 26 weeks) carers allowance you must not earn over £196 per week or it gets cut

friend of mine was made redundant in 50s and went to work for grocery delivery, NMW and out on the road all day solo, he loved it. Might fill a gap. He never did go back to original career and is now retired

Try Local Government as well they are usually a bit behind the curve AI wise and have very strict recruitment rules around discrimination of any sort. Municipal Journal, Local Government chronicle, Jobsgopublic etc.

I’m really sorry for your situation. It’s v tough out there. Sorry to be dim but how exactly is AI taking over jobs in media and comms? I read about it but haven’t really seen concrete examples. Is it like instead of a human carefully crafting a press release or important communication the company just uses AI instead? Press releases often still have the name of a human at XYZ communications company at the bottom?

While your DHs main skills were in media, running a company has a tonne of its own skill area too. Client getting and managingand project delivery are crucial in almost every business and your DH has a lot of experience. I think trying to get to networking events might help make some contacts directly, getting in on the ground with a new business. Come up with a a direction , a story and market himself directly. DH lost his business overnight when insurance companies stopped insuring in the sector but he was able to pivot and hasn’t looked back. At that age being proactive and exploring other channels is very important.

Op I’m so sorry, it’s unbelievable how the media and comms sectors has been affected in the last few years. One of my closest friends is in the same position, mid 50s with an excellent track record with global companies and she is struggling to secure interviews. She is now looking at interim roles as these seem to want greater experience to hit the ground running. Might be an option for your DH?

I would also echo a PP and suggest civil service might be a good option.