AIBU to feel overwhelmed by DHs job search in his 50s, business collapse and family illness?

This sounds interesting. Where do the dogs sleep? Do you have a dog at a time (or family dogs) and how much do you charge?

Please only answer what you a comfortable with. I don't wish to offend!

Do home dog boarding for people who don’t like kennels. It’s utterly insane how successful this is. I earn £3k to £4K a month doing this and it’s so easy!

Very good advice @TheDayBeforeYouCame

I was made redundant just over a year ago and did find another job before the market got worse. I was lucky as my package included some advice. I would recommend:

1. make sure Linkedin is up to date and you have selected skills
2. focus on transferable skills
3. consider a skills based cv which pulls out transferable skills like project management, leadership, budgeting etc. with examples
4. de-age cv as much as possible
5. set up broad job alerts on LinkedIn without salary limits
6. update cv and cover letter to align to the role you are applying for using the exact words. As PP said ChatGpt is great at this
7. consider doing some charity work to get recent experience of working for/with others.
8. network network network every day

Good luck. It is really hard but not impossible.

I agree with this.
OP, I know it's not what you want to hear, but this might be the way forward.
My DH is older - 62 when he was made redundant from a technical IT role - and he took the attitude that anything is better than nothing and it's easier to find a job when you're in a job.
Has he tried supermarket delivery driver, supermarket, postman-type jobs?
Being realistic, it's likely that his best years career-wise are behind him, so if you can afford it, I would look at less ambitious jobs. Sad but true.

Citizens Advice can't help with a CV. But do ask them about managing any debts.
Sending out CVs is a bit random, tbh. Try jobs where vacancies are advertised and there is a fixed application form and interview process - they're more likely to be in the public and voluntary sectors. He may have to accept a change in direction, but view it as a chance to make a new start.

Yes which is why I think in this case (and if OP is in that position - she may not be) looking at it like a 2 year option and then reassess at the 2 year point , depending on what the situation is at that point - either accept it’s looking at raising immediate cash by selling up or converting it to interest bearing and thus not increasing the amount if things have taken a turn for the better.

I really feel for @Onlyonesetoffootprints I could have written your post although our parents are thankfully doing ok, very elderly, but ok.

DH lost one too many clients last year and the work is drying up everywhere, thanks AI!, (comms and pr) and we have had to rethink our lives. So many of his contacts are in the exact same position and it's awful. He managed to get a position with the civil service, the pay is pretty dreadful but he has scope for advancement, however the pension is really good. We downsized some years ago and have a very small mortgage which we are going to pay off asap. I recognize we are lucky in this regard.
I was laid off last month (hospitality) and frankly the way it's going I have a feeling that finding work at my age is near impossible, that was a big blow.

My advice is to keep calm, hard I know, we decided we needed to radically change our lives, so after long conversations we made a plan that we felt was right for us. That was a huge weight off us. Money is now very very tight and I am very very stressed but I decided that I had to keep it together and do that 'keep calm and carry on' thing, so the flat is our sanctuary, looks the best it ever has, my freezer is full of meat and fish all bought on the yellow tickets, all veg and store cupboard items all from Lidl, cleaning stuff from B&M/Savers etc. I also take cash out with me, no cards, so much easier to track spending.

I wish you all the luck in world, life has sent us a bloody great curve ball but we WILL get through.x

Yes, equity release is always worth considering, but beware of the mortgage term going past age 65 and into your retirement.

I do think that is quite accurate if there isn’t spare cash to ‘hold off’ - a mindset change can make the difference and see it as early retirement and just look for bits of less career type roles to bring in a bit extra-
however I would caution on people always suggesting downsizing and selling house - not everyone has a ton of equity to make that possible and won’t get newmortgages and might also struggle to rent anything decent too , if income is very low- it might make more sense if there is a fair bit of equity to do a small amount of equity release to bridge the income gap for 2 years ( even if it’s £50k) pay off any debt etc or car leases that’s draining funds, and then totally reassess at that point and either sell up and pay it off if it’s clear that income is going to be a problem or just factor it in ongoing and change it to pay the interest ongoing ( this is possible) so it doesn’t get any bigger. Also is there private pension fund money? And is he 55 yet? If so he can access 25% of fund tax free and that may help bridge the gap -

I think he may need to lower his expectations and broaden his range, because it sounds like the most important thing is for him to be in a job and bringing in something asap, rather than trying repeatedly to get into one sector without success, and feeling more crushed and worried about finances with each rejection.
There are all sorts of possibilities in other sectors where he may have transferable skills or where they offer training. The DWP for instance recently did a big recruitment drive. I know they won't offer the salary he'll be looking for, but its better than nothing, and gets him doing something productive. Alternatively sign on with employment agencies. He'd be likely offered something within the week. Again, not his dream job, but work is work.

Ex recruiter here and you are 100% doing the right thing. In this market, people who are doing as you are the ones that are securing roles. Network network network! Every conversation is a little step closer and you have to think outside of the box x

OP as your husband has had his own business for so long, I would really recommend talking to people directly. Often clients of ours would have concerns that someone like this would be out of date in terms of doing the do day to day.Candidates like this can also find it tough articulating their experience in the right way and breaking down their skills and giving relevant examples - either on paper or face to face. Quite often talking to candidates who had been in their own business for so long was tricky - they could often be a bit wooly about what they had delivered, or they sounded downbeat (understandably) because their business had failed. And recruiters and clients will see right through that. He really needs to get to a place where he’s confident in his own ability and what he can bring to the table and be positive. Esssentially - he needs to market himself! I know it sounds ironic given the reason he’s in this situation anyway, but AI can help him to define his skills clearly, suggest adaptations or even make suggestions of adjacent career options or retraining. I hate suggesting AI but it can be useful for this kind of thing. Or asking it for suggestions of 20 similar companies he could approach proactively etc
Good luck!

I was made redundant last year and I’m in my 50s.

A few thoughts if helpful - I updated my CV but only showed the last 10 years on job history, so they couldn’t tell my age. Obviously at interview they would know, but by then they like you enough to not be biased!
I made sure that all my experience was really outcome focussed, so not just a list of job roles and descriptions, but what I’d done and the outcome/benefit it achieved.
As others have said, and I did find it a bit cringe, but made myself do it, I posted articles on LinkedIn that were linked to my experience, I made connections there and sent messages to contacts politely asking for leads.

Also I made sure that the description of my skills wasn’t too niche, so it was clear I could apply them to different industries/roles.

It did pay off and I found a role that I really enjoy. It’s really tough and I do sympathise with anyone looking.

Over 50's sites might be useful

https://jobs-redefined.co/

https://restless.co.uk/

My DH just went through this last year at 59. We made the difficult decision for him to early retire, downsized, and moved to a cheaper area. Next month, it will be 1yr and while it is tough living on less the stress is a lot lower and he is happy volunteering in the community.

Your DH should remove all dates and references to his age from his CV.

Does he still have his own website? If you have your own website and domain its easy to give references for relatives or even for yourself. You have to crack a few eggs to make an omelette,

Does he have a degree?

PGCE Computer Science trainee teachers can get £31 000 as a scholarship or £29 000 as a bursary.

There were a few people on my PGCE who had no intention of working as a teacher.

So an AI created job application gets vetted by AI....

I feel for you OP.
My DH worked in IT, which is also brutal for the over 50s, and had a similar problem (minus the family illnesses, which I'm sure makes it even harder):

But he did, in the end, after really struggling, mentally as well as just professionally - to the point that I was convinced he'd never find work again. But I was wrong: he did.

TBF he did have to retrain: that took a couple of different goes (it's not easy to radically change career path at 55+, both to find something you can plausibly do at that age and then succeed in the retraining and get a job in a new field.)

It will also most likely not be the same pay ever again - and as others have said, you may just have to look at how that can be managed. And being blunt you'll probably have to take the lead on that for the moment.

But my point is that it can all be done, and you can get through it.
Wishing you all the best.💐

it doesn’t touch the sides of what we need overall as a household and family.
This is what has to change.
Not just cutting the weekly shop and selling a few bits on eBay or Vinted - you need a vast and radical overhaul of your life. The kind of overhaul people usually do in their late seventies or eighties, you need to do now.

You need to jump before the debt-collectors push you.

Work on the assumption DH will not find another professional role, and will eventually get a minimum wage job.
You are downwardly mobile; you are going to be poorer - accept it.
Now plan for early retirement.

What age can each of you get your state pension? When can you access any private pensions? Do you have cash savings? How long can you hold off taking money from private pensions? The later you leave it, the better.
Make a spreadsheet of income and outgoings for each month until the pensions come in.

Downsize - sell the home to cover the gap before pensions are received.

Do you have children under 18 still at home?
If over 18 and finished college, they are now adults and have to find their own way. They need to move out into a rented room.
You only need two bedrooms in your new home, one for you both and one guest room. If more than two guests or adult DC stay, you use a camp bed or sofa.

Move to a cheaper area if needed. This is harder if DC under 18 are still at school or in the final year of college, or going through GCSEs. If necessary, sell the house and rent with the DC for those final few months until they are finished school or college.

The details of exactly what you can do depend on your circumstances, but it is the mindset that has to change and change now. You can no longer have the life you used to have, or the future you expected to have.

I'm sorry @Onlyonesetoffootprints , that sounds really tough, it's going to one of those 'annus horribilis' affairs, we've certainly had a few. Things do change. My husband is over 50 and has had a wobbly few years jobs wise. 2 years ago, in a field where he could usually apply to multiple roles a day, it was total tumbleweed for 8 months, but last year when he was looking his market seemed to have picked up and he's recently started a long contract. I hope things improve soon.

Comms and PR is very tough right now, I gather. For people wondering how AI is taking jobs - well, imagine a small to medium business with a niche market (which is quite a lot of businesses) It needs to have a social media presence and do press releases. Their comms don't have to be big, or clever or linked into pop culture... so with AI you might decide to ditch your marketing assistant or stop using a comms agency because AI can come up with something good enough for your needs

You can't use AI for your CS application. You can for interview prep though.

I'm in IT (not AI) and there are still jobs out there but the competition is tough.

However, if I had had any idea I would of been in a restructure and at risk of redundancy after submitting new objectives that were all approved the week before. I think I would of started to take evening courses to retrain 6mths ago. There are lots of accountancy and book-keeping courses I could have invested in or possibly even of looked for part time work or consultancy while I had a more secure income. I'm currently leaving it as an option and when I do secure work, I think I will create a backup plan and start to diversify to have more options in the future,

Just sending sympathy. We moved downsizing,had just given my notice 3 days previously, going from ft nights to pt days, nursing,DH came home,sat staring into space... they were called into the office, company had liquidated on the spot! He was 55, only had one career vehicle technician top colour by then. I rescinded my notice, stayed at my Surrey hospital on better pay scale London weighting etc. he applied for over 100 jobs, got one interview,was offered the job,cash in hand,no guaranteed hours,in a barn,no heating, zero safety equipment, ramps,pit. He declined. We managed, just on my wage for exactly a year and his old garage re opened,he went back there. DD,very qualified in lots of areas,55, Been off sick after major abdominal surgery, her last place has closed down (restaurant) she has been getting sick pay and using her private pension.
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I sympathise it's awful. My partner was hugely successful, self employed then about three years ago work just dried up. I work but earn a lot less than he was. For about two years we muddled through with my pay and savings and then very gradually things have started to improve. He's in a much better space now but it was really scary and to be honest I'm not confident about the future. We were on the verge of downsizing massively and I haven't given up that idea entirely. Planning a move away from the SE in the hope that our money goes further and allows us to build up savings again. Age does play a part I guess, partner in late fifties but the whole landscape of work is changing very rapidly. Good luck OP, I hope he finds something soon.