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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To pull my child out of school?

32 replies

crinklysock · 26/03/2026 20:03

A lad in my son’s class who comes over sometimes is always covered in red dots and scabs, he has been for as long as I can remember and I also noticed it on his older brother too.
Our son started to get the same so we took him to the doctor who diagnosed him with scabies so we treated the whole family and cautiously washed all bedding, clothes, cars and furniture and everything else was bagged up and we got rid of it eventually but it wasn’t easy and took a few attempts at treatment, the emotional affect was horrendous as we continued the cycle and it took it’s toll on all of us mentally.

Lad that’s in the class is still wandering around covered in dots.
This has been a living nightmare for us and I don’t ever want to go through this again, as far as I know the parents don’t know it’s scabies so probably haven’t treated it.
He sits in class with him every day and school coat pegs are next to each other.
I can do all I can but if the other child isn’t treated I can’t prevent re-infection and as I don’t have any proof I can’t say anything to the school about the child but after going through this and all the research I can say that the boy has what looks exactly like it and I’m pretty much without any doubt that they have the same and although I have noticed this on his friend for a long time I’d never heard of scabies so didn’t think anything about it.

I am so concerned my child is going to get it again from them if they don’t get treatment and I am terrified that we’ll face it all again.
I am thinking of changing schools but then I know my son will be devastated as the next school is in the next town.
They are going on a residential trip soon and will be sleeping in a dormitory together which I feel so uncomfortable about but it’s all paid for now and he’s looking forward to it. I am not sure if I should pull him out and lose the money.
We are a large blended family of 6 so treating us is a nightmare as there are other households where they also stay with a parent that needs to treat at the same time.
Is pulling him out of school our only option?

OP posts:
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twoshedsjackson · 29/03/2026 12:36

It's a long time since my probationary year, and protocols may have changed, but I had a pupil in my class diagnosed with scabies; and the child was kept out of school for two weeks, during which time I understand that the deep cleaning you describe was undertaken, and when she returned, she had to be given fresh exercise books etc., as all her previous ones had been incinerated. The family was already known to social services as having possible welfare concerns, which may or may not have been relevant. My other pupils and I luckily escaped infection, but I remember the increased vigilance and precautions, and I find it hard to imagine such a casual approach from your son's school, if they are fully in the picture.

Anonymouseposter · 29/03/2026 12:22

If going into school doesn’t change anything I would try to contact the school nursing service or health visitor ( I know health visitors don’t see over 5s but they could pass information to the right person). They’re much better with confidentiality than schools and you could tell them your exact concern, explaining that you want it to be treated in confidence.

newornotnew · 27/03/2026 06:58

Speak to the school.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/03/2026 06:56

It is not acceptable op to not tell the school for whatever reason you have. Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility

nocoolnamesleft · 27/03/2026 00:25

That poor kid. Please speak to the school.

portvfs · 26/03/2026 22:00

Why can’t you have a quiet word with the teacher?

PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 26/03/2026 21:50

You absolutely can and must contact the school with your concerns. The whole class could come down with it.
Go in first thing tomorrow & follow up with an email. If you can see the scabs on this poor child I'm sure the teacher can too.
I'd also request he's kept away from your child untill treated.

AnSpideog · 26/03/2026 21:49

crinklysock · 26/03/2026 21:15

Yes I was surprised too, when I called in to say he’d be off school for his treatment they said he could go back straight after his first treatment.
Nothing was mentioned about it again.

So I’m not in the uk but scabies is a notifiable illness here if their is a case of two or more in a school (and other institutions) so I would definitely push this in the school.

Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 26/03/2026 21:36

I would make a big fuss over this! I’ve caught scabies (I’m a teacher) and we had to close the entire key-stage, get a deep clean and all staff and children affected and our families, had to isolate for two weeks. Ask the school what they are doing about it. I’d go further and post a link to the NHS guidance too.

YourJoyousDenimExpert · 26/03/2026 21:35

You could try contacting your school health nursing service and explain that you are worried that the school aren’t being more proactive considering the risk if it being passed on.

elliejjtiny · 26/03/2026 21:28

I'm surprised the school haven't got it sorted. When my ds1 had what turned out to be eczema the school insisted we take him out of school and to the gp straight away. They thought it was flea bites.

Thepeopleversuswork · 26/03/2026 21:23

You have to make your concerns known to the school. Pulling you child out before you have done that is a huge overreaction. Talk to the school.

crinklysock · 26/03/2026 21:15

AnSpideog · 26/03/2026 21:02

That poor kid. Do you think he is neglected? I don’t see how your child would be itchy and covered in red dots and for it to do under the radar of his parents.

I would specifically bring it to the school that you are concerned that this child has an untreated scabies infection.

To the best of my knowledge the school should have notified the whole class that there was an incident of scabies anyway. Our school notified the whole school about two cases. They obviously didn’t identify the children but they made us all aware to be alert as to the symptoms.

Yes I was surprised too, when I called in to say he’d be off school for his treatment they said he could go back straight after his first treatment.
Nothing was mentioned about it again.

OP posts:
AbdonZer0 · 26/03/2026 21:03

I can't imagine the teachers haven't noticed either. This is concerning; can you go to the Headteacher, escalate your concerns a bit? And yes, treatment needs to be rigorous and persistent to get rid.

AnSpideog · 26/03/2026 21:02

That poor kid. Do you think he is neglected? I don’t see how your child would be itchy and covered in red dots and for it to do under the radar of his parents.

I would specifically bring it to the school that you are concerned that this child has an untreated scabies infection.

To the best of my knowledge the school should have notified the whole class that there was an incident of scabies anyway. Our school notified the whole school about two cases. They obviously didn’t identify the children but they made us all aware to be alert as to the symptoms.

crinklysock · 26/03/2026 20:55

CinnamonBuns67 · 26/03/2026 20:44

I would speak to the school about it, they can't do anything about it themselves but the kids are likely neglected if they are never rid of it as parents may not be seeking treatment so on the off chance the teachers haven't noticed to do a safeguarding referral I'd say something but ultimately I'd move my kids because the school can't physically change it and nothing will likely change anytime soon.

This is my worry, when I think of the lengths we went to to get rid of this and still had to re-treat and not just the second treatment we had to go back for more as more were appearing and had to be so thorough and careful, it was stressful so if they haven’t treated them in so long are they ever actually going to do it properly and treat the whole family and environment meticulously to prevent re-infection or will they just slap a bit of cream on and say they were treated.
I can’t imagine the teachers could have not noticed.

OP posts:
CinnamonBuns67 · 26/03/2026 20:44

I would speak to the school about it, they can't do anything about it themselves but the kids are likely neglected if they are never rid of it as parents may not be seeking treatment so on the off chance the teachers haven't noticed to do a safeguarding referral I'd say something but ultimately I'd move my kids because the school can't physically change it and nothing will likely change anytime soon.

crinklysock · 26/03/2026 20:43

AbdonZer0 · 26/03/2026 20:26

It can take a while for visible signs/ symptoms to appear. It's quite likely others are infected too. Tell the school before the Easter break if you can.

Yes it can, I have had this lad round and they were up in his room messing around and a few weeks later he had signs and then we all started to get it.
The lad has been round before and I noticed these marks a long time ago as long as they’ve been at school together so I don’t know if the family know or if they do know and just can’t get on top of it.

Edit to say - I have never seen scabies before so had no idea until our diagnosis that this was what it is.

OP posts:
MissingSockDetective · 26/03/2026 20:42

crinklysock · 26/03/2026 20:36

I told the school about my own child because he was off school during treatment but the school didn’t notify any other parents and we were just told to come back after treatment.
I agree the family should have done something about it a long time ago but even so I can’t just go into school and say I think this child has scabies and I don’t want my child to go near him.
I have already told him not to touch him but I can’t tell him not to play with him.
My biggest worry is when they have school sports it’s over the road in the field and they have to walk holding hands with a partner.

You can tell the school that you are concerned it may be scabies as your child has recently had similar. The school should then talk to parents about it and if they don't take him to the doctors it would then likely be raised as a safeguarding concern.

crinklysock · 26/03/2026 20:36

Star81 · 26/03/2026 20:05

Have you spoken to the school about your sons diagnosis and the similarities to the boy and his brother ?

I told the school about my own child because he was off school during treatment but the school didn’t notify any other parents and we were just told to come back after treatment.
I agree the family should have done something about it a long time ago but even so I can’t just go into school and say I think this child has scabies and I don’t want my child to go near him.
I have already told him not to touch him but I can’t tell him not to play with him.
My biggest worry is when they have school sports it’s over the road in the field and they have to walk holding hands with a partner.

OP posts:
AbdonZer0 · 26/03/2026 20:26

It can take a while for visible signs/ symptoms to appear. It's quite likely others are infected too. Tell the school before the Easter break if you can.

JehovasFitness · 26/03/2026 20:24

What did the school say when you raised it?

plsbekinddelicate · 26/03/2026 20:21

Just speak to the school

TrashHeap · 26/03/2026 20:19

Why on earth haven't you spoken to the school directly?

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