To think that menopause talks at work might not be an entirely good thing?

Does no one else feel that they just got a sense of gravitas and real seniority at work? And people really value your experience.

And then this undermines that

I'm thinking a lot about it because in theory I can afford to retire. I think. I'm not actually 100% sure. But I'm not working at the moment and I hate the idea that if I try to apply for things, people will be thinking "don't hire a woman at this age".

Our lot love to distribute little promo trinkets and leaflets on our desks for various company events

One day all the middle aged looking women came to work to find menopause awareness usb fans on our desks 🙄😂

I mean, bless them for trying, but still!

Agree

there's a big difference between companies having support available and actually just talking about it in a way that makes people feel uncomfortable

Someone's mentioned heavy periods in 30s I don't know why that would be considered part of perimenopause some people just have horrendous periods are we saying that some women really don't know that? If so then isn't it the kind of thing that should be taught in schools rather than in the workplace?

Again our sessions didn't say anything about super heavy periods in that age group

In fact, I don't think that is considered part of perimenopause but I have noticed they seem to have extended the age, probably because it enables them to sell more wellness shit to women.

@Wonderbug81 I can only see the benefit of educating management, so they know they have to at least ‘fake’ empathy. Without education they would just sweep it under the rug as rubbish.

Other than management - those directly in charge of employees on a day-to-day basis - no other male colleagues should be informed unless us women wish to tell them. It’s none of their business and I’m pretty sure they’d prefer it that way too.

“menopause is SHIT, you will hate it, you will put on weight and forget your own name and your GP will be a total bastard to you”

Totally love this!

It would be like us all attending a joint workplace talk on testicular atrophy, it’s cause, effects and how to manage it in the workplace…😃

See also mental health months and grief support. Managers should have the info for those struggling but it doesn't need to be in your face.

I'm right in the thick of menopause, my boss and immediate colleagues are about the same age and stage so going through it too (one sent me a wee gift of a portable desk fan - brilliant!) but it's not a big topic at work and I personally don't want it to be.

I had bad symptoms but they are controlled now. If they weren't, then that means a conversation with my doc and potentially my boss, but nobody else unless I choose too. There's a danger of making it sound like we all go doolally from 45 on and that's not the case.

Very mixed feelings about it. I like the idea of providing health info at work as it's a good way to reach people. Endless blogs/awareness meetings in general very unhelpful and distracting.

It's just become another stick to beat women with IMO. Don't employ women basically, they are slaves to their hormones FFS.

I'm 55 and haven't had one single day off in my life due to my hormones

Totally agree with this. It’s the kind of thing my work do to make themselves look like a great employer. They are actually pretty good but annoy by wasting time on stuff like this. I would rather have things like access to gyms or yoga classes.

They'd probably be better off giving talks on the menopause at GP surgeries.

I think if you dont have bad symptoms or have any clue what is coming its a shock. Lots of women younger than 40 start peri and have symptoms like bleeding so heavy they cant leave the.house, leading to anemia and the consequences of that. Having managers that are educated to that rather than some thinking you have suddenly just become useless every 3 weeks is helpful. It's easy to say these talks are too much if.you are not dealing with it.

There's a tricky balance. It's important it's no longer taboo. It's important for women to know the range of symptoms which can be part of it. It's important for men to have some awareness, because they might have wives, sisters, and they all will have mothers. And it's important to know that workplaces can be supportive (not all will do it in the same way.)

But it's also important to know that not everyone is affected. I'm in my early 50s and to date, my main symptom has been irregular/missing periods. That doesn't mean life won't be terrible when my periods finally stop, but it doesn't mean it will be, either. I have friends who have terrible symptoms and think HRT is a godsend. I knew someone who committed suicide - and I also know someone who realised it was probably a couple of years since she last had a period, and she just hadn't noticed (and didn't track.)

Some women need support, and some don't. I think the second part of that is being lost.

And if workplace hormones are problematic, then can we deal with the testosterone-filled men who are arguing and currently making my workplace an unpleasant place?

@onoitsnotgood like the gals who post having no pregnancy symptoms and wonder is they are having a miscarriage not everyone gets nauseated breast tenderness or the damn implantation spotting (never once in 3 pregnancies) did i have this.
I do think that older women who's mothers went through meno with little symptoms know that not all women experience this stuff. as a matter of fact i think most don't.

Also, I feel like people have forgotten that a company will get rid of you if they feel your health isn't up to the job

And they can do that

So setting people up to disclose all of their problems, which managers might not even have noticed - it's just a really bad idea

@onoitsnotgood yeah my sister didn't have any problems - though she left that seminar worrying about it!

It's shocking that people see it as inevitable now. I don't know what the percentages are. There's a point where this health "awareness" practically becomes gaslighting. I don't understand where it's come from. Is it just because people realise they can make money out of it? It really really isn't doing women any favours.

and I hate how it's become socially acceptable for people to just ask you how you are doing with it. I don't even know if I'm going through it. So far, I'm fine. But it should not be acceptable dinner party conversation! It's so unpleasant and I also really worry for women who just blame everything on that - there might be something really wrong and they're just blaming being a particular age.

It does strike me as somewhat virtue signalling. Be seen to be good whilst you don't tackle the other things that make work ineffective, such as ensuring you have managers capable of managing people, not just with technical or business knowledge.

sadly is brings back memories of mixed sex puberty classes.
and yes the boys did tease the girls to no end.
just no need to do this, i bet some of the fellows who attended did so to avoid actual "work" for the x amount of hours this was discussed.

There is also another problem that a dr identified to me which is that many women do not have serious symptoms during the menopause at all. Some women do suffer badly and it is good there is awareness of this but many won't at all.

Over emphasis on the possibility of suffering can have a psychological effect on women who would otherwise be without serious symptoms or have low level symptoms. They feel 'worse' because they are being lectured at that this is inevitable. I haven't explained it very well but what this dr was saying to me was the psychological expectation of definitely feeling bad is a bad thing for everyone.

Sort of like if you have a bit of a cold and you dismiss it as nothing to worry about and get on with your day, walk the dog and so on is a completely different feeling to if you have exactly the same bit of a cold but assume you are coming down with Covid so spend all day in bed telling yourself Covid is coming and you feel so bad.

Absolutely agree with this

They can now discriminate, basically from age 16 onwards. Because they've got the child bearing to worry about and now they've got the perfect excuse to worry about what happens after.

My company was incredibly aggressive about it - they could see there was reluctance for people to attend a seminar and they ended up organising several dates - it was clearly a tactic to make sure that no one could be on annual leave or part-time workers couldn't say that they couldn't make the session due to their working days

My sister actually had her 50th birthday when her company did the sessions and she felt horribly self-conscious which is such a pity.

it sounds like yours was much more full on I would've hated it if all that information was given in mine

I think it is often forgotten that yes it CAN be difficult for some women, but for other women it can a glorious feeling of freedom, and increased energy , clarity and focus (and libido )

i feel all this focus on the negatives is all very well meant but may ultimately be used against women … and is also not true for everyone

Yep. I hate it. Managed to go through 40 years of work without my hormone levels being an issue for anyone except me.
trouble is there are people whose job is wellbeing initiatives so they have to make a drama out of every human frailty.

Honestly I'm glad someone else has had this thought. I'm glad there is recognition of the problems that it may cause some women and that there is more help available now than previous generations have had. However the way this is being dealt with in my workplace is, I feel, putting equality in the workplace back by a few decades. It now seems to be the general opinion that as soon as a woman hits early 40s they are a ticking time bomb for needing allowances made as to their ability to do their job, learn new skills, even attend work everyday. When reality is women have been holding down jobs and going through the menopause for a long time now and if anything women of today are better equipped to do that successfully than they have ever been before.