To think that menopause talks at work might not be an entirely good thing?

Amen…

This will be super unpopular… but here goes.

No these types of talks are not a good thing for women. I spent my career as one of the few if not only women at the table. There is no way in hell I want anyone thinking in the back of their mind “ohhh she didn’t add the attachment to that email… must be menopause fog” or “gee she’s said that this project is shit… must be a menopause moment” when in all actuality I just forgot the fucking attachment and yes this project is shit at the moment and needs to be fixed.

All of these efforts to push women’s issues are just creating a divide. It’s fucking embarrassing.

totally agreed and the fact we are also told women cant make decisions they need men to do their thinking for them and need endless time off work, paid of course, because of any reason a woman can come up with

Yeah if you have a moment where you forget something it's 'oh menopause'

Whereas for a man it's just 'meh'

I also don't understand what a menopause policy achieves that a general policy on reasonable adjustments doesn't. A couple of years ago someone I manage told me they were struggling with menopause-related insomnia, so I asked whether she had any ideas how I could support and we agreed a flexible start time. But that's exactly what I'd have done if it hadn't been menopause-related, too.

I’m amazed men ever recruit women to be honest - we’re sold to them as total hormonal wrecks who either are young enough to have a baby or are 50 and useless. While I understand the reasons behind the menopause awareness, I really do worry about the picture it’s painting.

A lot depends on how it's done. Current employer has a menopause policy. Previous one didn't, because they said it's already covered by policies on managing chronic health conditions (an approach which makes more sense to me.)

It's good for women to know that some of what they're experiencing is down to menopause. It good for managers to have an awareness of how to deal with a staff member experiencing problems, same as if a staff member has a chronic bowel condition or a cancer diagnosis - what support is available, what adjustments can be made, do we have to accept everything that comes up? But also that it's not always as bad as some expect.

i think things have to reach the peak before the reversal starts!

I completely agree. Its absolutely everywhere at the moment.

Yes the awareness is good but its starting to feel like a kind of endless biological determinism for women. You start menstruation = you’re hysterical and unreliable. You have children = you’re unfocused and want to be at home. You’re menopausal = you’re a whinging, dried up husk with the memory of a demented goldfish. Then you’re really old and no one sees you.

My pet hate at the moment is people attributing absolutely everything to “peri”, whether a cold or their husband cheating.

I can’t see what purpose is served by a “menopause talks”: it makes women feel as if they’re disabled and reinforces the view of men that we’re constantly limited by our bodies.

I agree - now it’s not just child bearing age women who are being judged for their hormones.

Why on earth are they discussing vaginal dryness and libido at work? I assume you don’t all work in a brothel, so how is it relevant?

Anyway, YANBU, I never want to be treated any differently from male co-workers. I even despise workplaces that don’t have equal parental leave allowance for men and women.

Totally agree
I am sure people host them with good intentions but I think they are hugely problematic

I’m disabled.

should employers not organise talks about disability awareness in case the increased awareness leads to more discrimination?

should employers not organise talks about prostate cancer in case women begin to see any man over 50 as likely to have cancer and treat him with sympathy?

I actually started the same thread about 6 years ago, when my employers introduced a menopause policy and training.

I was torn to shreds 🤣 Funny how things change.

What a refreshing thread. There was one a couple of years ago where everyone seemed to think menopause “awareness” should be banged on about at work and women should be allowed special treatment, time off, etc.

I think I was alone in being horrified and thinking that this is a bad idea. Sure, anyone who is unwell for any reason should have time off, but the possibility that middle aged women become generally regarded as useless, dotty and unwell is a real risk. Wanging on about the problems of menopause can only increase discrimination against women.

I am post menopause myself and had problems with anxiety and insomnia, but nothing that affected work or anyone else.

To be fair, it's totally possible at some point I ticked a box on some employee wellbeing survey that said "yes I'd like information about menopause please" and didn't think about it again, and in the background it churned through the various layers of employee engagement for months and got turned into "yes please put a promotional menopause fan on my desk when I'm not there".

Knowing my company that is a scenario I can very much see happening.

Great post, it’s only really debilitating for some. Most of us get through puberty, pregnancy, periods with no trouble but some really suffer.
It feels like scaremongering sometimes, I’m sick of hearing about it all the time.

It’s been really positive where I work. Our company is 80% male and we’ve had really good feedback. Our male CEO and CFO did a week trial with heat vests, and tens machines to mimic hot flushes and pain, and they drank loads of water before bed so they’d had to get up in the night. They kept a vlog and they found it enlightening and made them more sympathetic. A lot of the men said they found it really useful to be able to support their partners too. We’ve also done a lot about men’s mental health as our industry has a high male suicide rate. We are a progressive company though and discrimination is not tolerated and it’s created a mush more welcoming and open environment.

We’ve also put in a lot of effort with new parents (both male and female), to give them some slack from being constantly knackered, and we increased our paid paternity leave and actively encourage men to take it up.

Edited to say it’s had a big impact on the usual team bonding activities we do. So no more orienteering in the middle of nowhere with no toilets - also good for those with bowels disease as well as flooding!

I also feel like this - more awareness isn't inherently bad, but I feel like there's a bit of an underlying suggestion that not much can be expected of women over 45 and that they'll need constant accommodation. I also - and I recognise this is a selfish perspective - find it quite personally depressing. I'm late 30s, feel like I'm just getting my mojo back after the little kids' years, and I feel like I'm constantly surrounded with messages that my life will very soon be hell...

People who are unwell deserve support.
Why people who are unwell with menopause need separating out & special treatment I cannot understand.

Have they heard of age discrimination?

Noooooo

how did they decide who looked the right age?! I presume in reality they went through records - which they shouldn't be doing anyway.

That sounds like discrimination to me, actually.

@Halfblindbunny oh okay
Bloody TikTok

I quite like Insta, but it normally just sells me clothes because that's really what I'm there for!

There is definitely a TikTok/Instagram influencer push to say that peri menopause begins in your 30s when in reality it can do but it's unlikely. Strangely these posts are the same ones trying to either sell something or gain followers.