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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that menopause talks at work might not be an entirely good thing?

233 replies

Wonderbug81 · 26/03/2026 18:42

We had a talk on menopause today at work. An outside speaker. About 10% of attendees were men (mainly younger) plus a mix of women of all ages.

The speaker went into a lot of detail about how debilitating perimenopause can be and the impact on work. She also talked through the support women can get both internally and through other orgs.

I know I should feel positive about all this but I couldn't help feeling that now people will just wonder whether any woman in their late 30s and above in our company (including me) is forgetting something or is 'off sick' because of their hormones.

I also feel a little uncomfortable that now, a lot more of my colleagues might now assume that if I am perimenopausal, I may have vaginal dryness and low libido among whatever else is wrong with me. Whether you have the symptoms or not it feels overly exposing and I have a couple of team members who would potentially exploit it as a vulnerability.

Please prove me wrong and tell me this is a positive move forward??

OP posts:
superchick · 26/03/2026 18:52

It is a bit much. We don't get to keep anything private any more. I found being pregnant at work exposing, I hated people constantly being aware of my personal circumstances and commenting on my "baby brain". The last thing I need now is everyone thinking I can't get through the day in one piece because I'm over 40. I'm all up for private, consensual conversations about our personal lives but not this.

LayaM · 26/03/2026 18:50

I think it needs to be balanced. Some women have a very tough time with peri and need accommodations, but some don't notice a difference at all. Most of us will be somewhere in the middle and can probably manage to plod on with a bit of understanding. Equivalent to pregnancy in fact.

The issue isn't education on the menopause but what I find to be the heavy focus on how bad it is without giving equal weight to the fact that most of us can manage our symptoms enough that it won't have a major impact on our work.

menopausalmare · 26/03/2026 18:50

God, how awful. If you really want to improve things for women, make it easier to get to the GP and stop sending women on wild goose chases around their town to find a chemist that has their HRT in stock.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 26/03/2026 18:49

I think it is important to raise awareness but a lot of women's health messaging is based around a deficit model.

Not: your body can grow another human, that's amazing , let's talk about how you can be supported to be as healthy as possible and make sensible choices for you

More: childbirth is horrid, you'll probably have zero libido and have various problems afterwards suck it up

Not: menopause is a natural thing, are you aware of all the things you can do to be healthy like lifting weights for bone density etc - and if you have adverse symptoms, these are the treatments

More: menopause is SHIT, you will hate it, you will put on weight and forget your own name and your GP will be a total bastard to you

It's always the assumption that women's bodies are sickly and painful and that's just the way it is.

Wonderbug81 · 26/03/2026 18:48

FancyNewt · 26/03/2026 18:45

I agree with you OP. We spend our twenties and thirties being dismissed and discriminated against because of the possibility of children it for having them, now this.

I had this exact thought throughout the talk.

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 26/03/2026 18:48

I completely agree with you.

I'm 51 and I don't want my (all male) managers looking at me and wondering when I'm going to become a liability.

Janesput · 26/03/2026 18:46

I have mixed feelings about this too. On the one hand it's great that people are starting to understand, but if they "understand" that women are all a bit useless after 45, that's not great.

Also, like the other symptoms of menopause there's a risk that everything will be attributed. Lacking patience, that'll be menopause, it couldn't possibly be that you work with idiots etc etc

FancyNewt · 26/03/2026 18:45

I agree with you OP. We spend our twenties and thirties being dismissed and discriminated against because of the possibility of children it for having them, now this.