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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for kissing DP on school run when DD dislikes it?

462 replies

Werze · 26/03/2026 17:49

DD has had yet another massive go at me after school today. I broke up from her father when she was v young. Didn’t date for ages. Met a school run dad (now DP) in September, knew each other for a while then dated and went from there. Obviously we can’t see loads of each other so school run is one of only opportunities in week. Naturally happy to see each other and embrace/kiss as any normal couple would. DD kicking off saying she doesn’t want to see this.

AIBU? She can’t expect me to remain single for ever surely ?

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 27/03/2026 12:06

Why don't you care about her happiness enough to just not do it?

Twatterati · 27/03/2026 11:53

Werze · 26/03/2026 22:54

Hiding round a corner for a harmless fondle would be well childish, we are adults fgs 😂

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As adults you are capable of waiting until you’ve dropped your children off and left the school premises, even if you’ve not seen each other for weeks.

MrsWhites · 27/03/2026 11:52

bigboykitty · 27/03/2026 11:40

You might want to re-phrase that,because there's every chance the OP will take your advice quite literally in the playground.

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😂😂

I would genuinely be interested to hear the OP’s opinion on how much is ‘too much’ for the school playground.

I quite literally can not imagine anyone thinking it is acceptable to be picked up by their boyfriend in front of children, outside a school!

Was it raining too OP because I’m imagining the scene from four weddings and a funeral now or the notebook with her legs around his waist!!

bigboykitty · 27/03/2026 11:40

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 27/03/2026 11:18

Get a grip OP.

You might want to re-phrase that,because there's every chance the OP will take your advice quite literally in the playground.

giggly · 27/03/2026 11:22

Dear god some people just don’t have the emotional intelligence to be good parents.

Tryagain26 · 27/03/2026 11:21

No one needs to hug and kiss their partner on the school run. Of course your daughter is embarrassed and yes you are being unreasonable.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 27/03/2026 11:18

Get a grip OP.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/03/2026 11:15

Werze · 26/03/2026 22:54

Hiding round a corner for a harmless fondle would be well childish, we are adults fgs 😂

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Adults would be able to control themselves in the playground, @Werze.

365RubyRed · 27/03/2026 11:13

Yuck. How performative and juvenile.

MermaidofRye · 27/03/2026 11:08

It won't just be your daughter who is passing comments. It will be other children, parents and teachers too.

Fairly or unfairly, it will be you, not him, that people are laughing at and they will be waiting for it to break up-as it may-so that they can enjoy you looking shamefaced at the school gate.

Pull back a little. It's not your first time around the block-your daughter is living proof of this-so have a little more dignity instead of providing a side show that your daughter is upset about.

Your daughter might warm to him more if you do.

user58643296 · 27/03/2026 10:24

If you see each other rarely enough that you need to carry out the bulk of your relationship at the school gates, are you sure you've reached partner status?

Surely this isn't real?

wfhwfh · 27/03/2026 10:24

Brightbluestone · 27/03/2026 07:22

It sounds like you’re looking at this from the POV of an adult, not trying to understand how an 11-year-old might understand it and feel about it. If you think your dd is being unreasonable for not understanding that “it’s just natural to be excited to see someone surely” when he lifts you up, then you don’t know much about 11-year-olds. (Which you really should because you have one). She’s not your adult mate who’s going to be happy for you and ‘get it’, she’s your child. To her, her mother being lifted up and kissed by a man outside her school, like something out of a cringey 1950s rom com, will be absolutely mortifying! She also probably thinks it’s super cringe and gross (cos who wants to see that OTT display of affection from their parent 🤮). She also may be feeling uneasy, jealous, confused - if you haven’t dated since you left her dad, this is going to be a massive thing for her. Sounds like you’re minimising it, making it all about you, and not trying to understand from your daughter’s POV at all. You can’t expect her to just ‘be happy’ for you before she feels safe & secure and gets to know him properly (which imo she shouldn’t be doing after 6 mths. I’d date for a year personally, before introducing anyone to my kids). It sounds like you need to try to understand your daughter better

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This is all so right.

Also the point that a lot of previous posters mentioned that the OP is doing this on the school-run - her daughter’s domain - in full view of others. School is a place her daughter has no choice but to go to each day and be confronted by her peers. Meanwhile OP is deliberately exposing your private life in a ridiculously performative way and inviting her to be bullied. Where is her safe space?

I honestly marvel at the number of parents who appear never to have been a child themselves and have no idea how shamed and trapped this would make a child feel.

If you want a public performance go and fondle your bf at his workplace. Keep your daughter out of it.

Overitallnow · 27/03/2026 09:47

Really really GRIM.

Offthepath · 27/03/2026 09:34

Chenecinquantecinq · 27/03/2026 07:48

Dating another parent at your child's school is supremely selfish. This happened at our school the poor child was so embarrassed and it was a huge source of gossip etc. If you must date another school parent at least have the decency to keep it secret to spare your children.

It's OTT to say you can't ever date someone who is a parent at the same school.
I've done it very discretely, it was totally fine, and nobody knew. Polite nod and smile when passing in the school yard, same as any acquaintance.

beeautifullif3 · 27/03/2026 09:02

Oh god you sound so grim 🤦‍♀️ start thinking with your head and not your fanny and spare your poor daughter the embarrassment

PersephonePomegranate · 27/03/2026 09:02

Werze · 26/03/2026 22:54

Hiding round a corner for a harmless fondle would be well childish, we are adults fgs 😂

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Fondle? 🤮

Fo you see any other parents 'fondling' in the playground. You sound like an exhibitionist who doesn't care about her poor child's feelings.

I agree with PPs that this is too much involvement for your child for a six month relationship.

Disgusting.

ClairDeLaLune · 27/03/2026 09:01

🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

Your poor poor DD. She’ll be the laughing stock of the school.

Grow up OP.

sidneytweeney · 27/03/2026 08:47

BuryAllYourSecretsInMySkin · 26/03/2026 17:56

Do you know what's natural?

Putting your kids feelings above your own in situations like this.

Wait 5 minutes until she's in school ffs.

THIS

sidneytweeney · 27/03/2026 08:45

Yep - stop it! At 11 anything that makes them stand out is embarrassing. Kissing what is effectively a school dad on the school run must be excruciating for her !!
Don’t mean to be mean but it all sounds a bit performative.

Twatterati · 27/03/2026 08:20

OMG - this is a new one, Performance Dating 🤮

It won’t just be your DD who’s embarrassed and wants you to stop.

This is such attention seeking behaviour from you and the other parent. Literally everyone will be cringing and rolling their eyes. Just stop.

Jellybean23 · 27/03/2026 08:15

You are putting yourself first. The kissing gives her the ick. You and your partner know this yet you continue to do it. It demonstrates to her that he can make your daughter come second place. You are making a big mistake.

Therecordplayer · 27/03/2026 08:13

Werze · 26/03/2026 17:54

She was extra annoyed today because DP lifted me up ,got a bit carried away we haven’t seen each other since last week due to his work. We won’t repeat that but it’s just natural to be excited to see someone surely

Nobody wants to see this on the school run, not just your daughter.

franklymydearscarlett · 27/03/2026 08:08

This can’t be real. Poor child.

CurlewKate · 27/03/2026 08:08

I mean-I’d be pretty embarrassed and they’re strangers to me!

Calliopespa · 27/03/2026 08:07

Werze · 26/03/2026 17:54

She was extra annoyed today because DP lifted me up ,got a bit carried away we haven’t seen each other since last week due to his work. We won’t repeat that but it’s just natural to be excited to see someone surely

You know it isn't normal. How often have you seen other parents doing this?

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