Page 5 | Should I tell my partner about drunken kiss with a colleague?

Notasbigasithink · 26/03/2026 18:44

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 16:10

NC’d for this.

Ahhhhh I’m really feeling anxious atm. My own fault I know. I had a drunken kiss/grope with a colleague on a work night out on Friday. Woke up the next morning feeling regret but thinking I’d just forget about it. Now I can’t help feeling so much guilt and that I should tell my long term DP.

Do you think if I just try really hard to forget about it, or fess up? And be clear it meant nothing and I had far too much to drink.

So you want to risk ruining his life in order to relievie your own guilt?!
How selfish of you! This is the consequence of cheating and you need to lay in that bed you've made.

Olive123456 · 26/03/2026 18:42

ExtraOnions · 26/03/2026 16:42

The guilt will wear off.

I know people on here want “sackcloth and ashes” for and transgression, but sometimes you just need to be a bit pragmatic. Really worth breaking up over this ? I would say not.

Maybe that's for the cheated on partner to decide.

Satarn · 26/03/2026 18:42

For them that are saying keep it to yourself i think these commenters have cheated themselfs.

Satarn · 26/03/2026 18:40

Olive123456 · 26/03/2026 18:39

I think you should grow up and stop blaming drink for your skanky behaviour.

This with bells on everyone blames the drink.

Olive123456 · 26/03/2026 18:39

I think you should grow up and stop blaming drink for your skanky behaviour.

RealDealCloud · 26/03/2026 18:38

I think it's really unfair to keep something from your spouse that would potentially cause them to rethink the relationship. They deserve to make an informed decision.

But it seems like you're just looking to alleviate guilt. It isn't fair that he has to shoulder this hurt, but that should have been thought about before cheating on him.

Satarn · 26/03/2026 18:38

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Satarn · 26/03/2026 18:36

For the fuckers on this thread that say keep ya mouth shut trust me it hurts more when you find out its been kept a secret.
The DS on here is shameful.
Goes to show women cheat more on here.

Megifer · 26/03/2026 18:34

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 18:29

Because some people are exhausted and have severe brain fog make due to severe chronic illness.

but they don’t feel the need to correct people on the internet just to make them feel small and stupid.

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Sorry, hope you feel better soon.

But that doesnt mean people can't point out incorrect use of words, particularly when they are being used to try and prove a point.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 26/03/2026 18:30

Just because no one was there doesn't mean he wont go blabing to everyone.

Either you are unhappy in your relationship and this is a symptom

OR

You have a problem with drinking

Either way this should be a MASSIVE wake up call that triggers real change.

If I wasnt going to tell my partner and intended to stay with him i'd be looking to change jobs asap and not stay in contact with anyone from that job ever.

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 18:29

Megifer · 26/03/2026 18:24

Why dont people understand what "double standards" and "the other way around" mean? 😭

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Because some people are exhausted and have severe brain fog make due to severe chronic illness.

but they don’t feel the need to correct people on the internet just to make them feel small and stupid.

OriginalSkang · 26/03/2026 18:28

greenteaandlimes · 26/03/2026 18:22

@ErlingHaalandsManBun that is totally untrue, no one would say LTB after one kiss if everything else was good and fixable.

Anyone with a vague bit of self respect would. Cheating isn't ever fixable. Relationships don't ever completely recover from

canisquaeso · 26/03/2026 18:28

Have a shred of respect and tell him. Who would want to be in the dark about this?

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 18:26

greenteaandlimes · 26/03/2026 18:22

@ErlingHaalandsManBun that is totally untrue, no one would say LTB after one kiss if everything else was good and fixable.

yes they would. Have seen people tell them to ltb for far worse interactions with coworkers.

Ivyremoved · 26/03/2026 18:25

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EmeraldShamrock000 · 26/03/2026 18:24

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 17:07

No nothing like that, I completely accept we were both willing participants.

Nothing would ever happen romantically even if I wanted it to, he’s is quite a bit younger than me. I admit I was flattered by things he said to me, and he is a part time footballer so in fantastic shape. I love DP but he’s never been a gym type of person. I just got carried away with too much to drink.

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A drink or 10 wouldn't make me cheat, kiss anyone, certainly not a work colleague.

OriginalSkang · 26/03/2026 18:24

Beautifulhaiku · 26/03/2026 17:26

Unfortunately life is rarely this simple.

If you feel absolutely wretched and will never do it again then I would not tell him, and I would not want to know if I was your partner. You deal with the guilt, and promise yourself that you’ll never do it again, and that if you ever did it again you’d have to tell him and it will likely be the end of your relationship.

Also if you want to stay faithful to your partner from now on then don’t let yourself be in this position (drunk and alone) again with this person or anyone else you feel that kind of chemistry with. Take yourself home when it starts to feel dangerous.

All of the above assumes you 100% want to stay with your partner. If not then stop messing him about and just leave him.

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Did you read her update? Literally all it took for her to cheat on her boyfriend was some flattery from a younger, good looking guy she would never have a relationship with. t's not like she developed feelings for him. She's thrown it away for that. That isn't something people do if they're in love!

Megifer · 26/03/2026 18:24

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 18:21

The double standards sometimes on here are wild. If this was the other way around and op had found out her oh had kissed and groped her his younger colleague everyone would be calling him a sleaze and telling her to ltb

op you have to tell him. You have cheated. There is no grey here. You have kissed and groped another man while in a relationship your oh deserves to know so he can decide whether or not he wants to be with you because quite frankly if it was me your bags would be packed and you would be out the door.

men and women should not be treated any differently for shitty behaviour.

Edited

Why dont people understand what "double standards" and "the other way around" mean? 😭

greenteaandlimes · 26/03/2026 18:22

@ErlingHaalandsManBun that is totally untrue, no one would say LTB after one kiss if everything else was good and fixable.

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 18:21

The double standards sometimes on here are wild. If this was the other way around and op had found out her oh had kissed and groped her his younger colleague everyone would be calling him a sleaze and telling her to ltb

op you have to tell him. You have cheated. There is no grey here. You have kissed and groped another man while in a relationship your oh deserves to know so he can decide whether or not he wants to be with you because quite frankly if it was me your bags would be packed and you would be out the door.

men and women should not be treated any differently for shitty behaviour.

greenteaandlimes · 26/03/2026 18:20

No I dont think so OP. Unless it’s likely that he’ll find out.
The thing that you need to figure out is why did you do that? Kissing and groping other men is most likely a sign that something is wrong with your relationship. Try to figure out what that is. And try not to let it happen again. If it does, it is time for a big reconsideration.

Pedallleur · 26/03/2026 18:19

Romebreak · 26/03/2026 16:11

Would you want to know if your DP had a grope and a kiss with a colleague?

And what would you do if he had?

DripDripAprilshower · 26/03/2026 18:19

Yes you need to tell him. I’m surprised you even had to ask!

Bringemout · 26/03/2026 18:15

No definitely don’t mention it.

Hereforadviceee · 26/03/2026 18:07

No you should stay quiet and then whenever you need another ego boost you could start an affair.

Of course you should tell him. If a guy wrote this../