Should I tell my partner about drunken kiss with a colleague?

You need to find another job if you don't tell your partner. This wasn't a drunken kiss with a stranger. This was active cheating with someone you work with because you fancy him.

A man on here would be ripped to pieces for a drunk kiss and grope with a younger female colleague. Just as you would be on here about your partner if he did the same thing, especially if the younger woman had a great body.

No. I wouldn’t want know if it was my partner cs I wouldn’t be able to forget it & if it’s meaningless, you learned your lesson etc better to just move on and forget it

Would you want to know if he was snogging his colleagues?

You cheated.

and one of your replies “nothing would happen even if I wanted it to” sounds like you clearly very much do want things to happen.

Its up to you whether you tell your partner or not, but another reply of yours about dp not being a gym guys sounds like you don’t fancy him anymore anyway.

He should be told. I'd want my partner to tell me if he did that so I could make an informed choice about the future of our relationship.

Don't tell. Live with the guilt and don't put yourself in another situation where this could happen again.

I would say the same thing if you were a man.

Yea tbf ive seen posts like that. Ive seen probably equal posts saying don't tell her. MN isnt a hive mind and unless the same posters are on identical threads contradicting themselves then its disingenuous to claim "double standards on MN".

Also, there aren't many posts from men on here ssaying "i kissed another woman, do i tell". Likely because men usually wouldnt question whether to own up, and this is predominantly a female site.

Ive told op i wouldnt say anything. Id say the same to a man (and have on here, the very rare few threads ive seen anyway)

I remember a few threads like that, tbh.

Women are often told to pretend it never happened so as not to lose their relationship.

My point still does stand that men and women are treated differently in these situations even if I didn’t word it how maybe was best.

if a man came on here and said the same thing he would be told to just leave his wife as she deserved better. In fact I can remember an exact post with a similar sort of thing where that was the general messages.

I'm sure he wouldn't. So he should at least be given the dignity of choosing whether he wants to stay in the relationship or not.

Rather than operating under the illusion that his partner doesn't do this sort of thing.

wtf

I am one of the posters who is against the cheating. My post was directed at someone who criticised me for using a wrong term,

Couldn't get excited about this tbh but don't drink so much

If you think this younger colleague will keep your secret, even from his work mates, you could be in for some embarrassment at work.

I think you tell him and leave it to him what he wants to do.

You drank and you liked the ego stroking of attention from a younger coworker and cheated.

Address your alcohol use and what's lacking that you cheated because you got attention. Validation comes from within.

I don't he'd have chosen for it to happen in the first place!

My soon-to-be-ex wife was cheating on me in 2020. I was suspicious at the time but I didn't find out for certain until shortly after she left me in 2025. That's five years of my life I could have had back if she'd had the decency to tell me at the time.

Yes it is utterly unbelievable that people have such low respect for their partners and take the moral high ground

And what if he would prefer not to be with someone who had done this? Where is his choice?

Are you kidding! Yes they totally would.
Lots of threads on here in the past about men just having flirtatious chats with another female and its all LTB!

I'd want to know.

Doing it would be bad enough in the first place. I wouldn't want someone to compound it by not telling me.

I'd rather be in a position to make an informed choice about whether I wanted to remain in the relationship. And I really wouldn't want to be with someone who could compound disrespect with more disrespect.

It's funny isn't it, how many are say 'It's just a kiss' when they know full well it was groping too.

He should be allowed to decide what the impact is on your relationship. It is not selfish to tell him - that is nonsense. Rather It would be the second act of deceit not to tell him.

I disagree. One kiss is too many for me.... I would 100% LTB after one kiss.
If everything else was good? Nothing would be good for me at that stage. I'd always be questioning why my partner was a cheat.

Whatever 🙄
Doesn't change the fact that if this was a man posting about a drunken kiss and grope he would have his ass handed to him on a plate and the majority of posters would be giving VERY different advice and would give him hell for doing it.

I think you should tell him

He deserves to have the opportunity to decide if he wants to remain in the relationship or if he wants to end the relationship.

Everyone who is saying don't tell him is taking the right to have that choice away from him.

He might be able to move past it and stay together. He might not. But it should be his decision

And its pathetic trying to blame being drunk. You did this...own it.