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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I tell my partner about drunken kiss with a colleague?

215 replies

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 16:10

NC’d for this.

Ahhhhh I’m really feeling anxious atm. My own fault I know. I had a drunken kiss/grope with a colleague on a work night out on Friday. Woke up the next morning feeling regret but thinking I’d just forget about it. Now I can’t help feeling so much guilt and that I should tell my long term DP.

Do you think if I just try really hard to forget about it, or fess up? And be clear it meant nothing and I had far too much to drink.

OP posts:
OriginalSkang · 26/03/2026 21:12

Beautifulhaiku · 26/03/2026 21:08

You don’t think people who are in love ever get drunk and kiss other people?

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No, of course not! People who are in relationships they don't really want to be in get drunk and kiss other people

Beautifulhaiku · 26/03/2026 21:08

OriginalSkang · 26/03/2026 18:24

Did you read her update? Literally all it took for her to cheat on her boyfriend was some flattery from a younger, good looking guy she would never have a relationship with. t's not like she developed feelings for him. She's thrown it away for that. That isn't something people do if they're in love!

Edited
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You don’t think people who are in love ever get drunk and kiss other people?

AStonedRose · 26/03/2026 21:01

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:31

Eww just noticed you’re male. Are you looking for tank material?

Edited
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Eww yourself. You’re in no position to lecture on sexual morals

Lmnop22 · 26/03/2026 20:58

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:15

Appreciate all replied and harsh words. Nearly 80% voting I would be unreasonable to tell him, which is more overwhelming than I thought.

For the record, I voted YABU not because you’d be unreasonable to tell him but because you’ve behaved appallingly and kissing a colleague is very unreasonable. Would imagine a few others did the same.

Tell your DP and allow him to leave if he wants to because he deserves agency and choice in his relationship not wasting his life with a liar if he would’ve left knowing the truth.

5128gap · 26/03/2026 20:57

@narnia2025 I'm asking how you know its the same posters though?
Only 50 people have said this OP is NOT unreasonable. 50 people out of a site with 8 million monthly users. What are the odds that tiny percentage of people are the same posters who would be ripping a man to shreds?
Some posters go hard on this type of behaviour some people go easy. There is zero evidence to say its the same people operating different standards based on the posters sex, and that women get better treatment from the same people. It's a big old myth which is not remotely supported by the tiny percentage of users who voted in this poll.

enok · 26/03/2026 20:54

No

PopcornKitten · 26/03/2026 20:53

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:24

Just hugging really, I touched him over his jeans, and he was grabbing my behind.

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That’s not hugging, OP. I’m assuming you mean his crotch iver the jeans and he was touching your bottom. Thats groping.
as others have said there’s massive double standards on MN regarding this. But we’re not you. Only you know what you want to do moving forwards.

Glitchymn1 · 26/03/2026 20:49

365RubyRed · 26/03/2026 16:49

How did the evening build up to the drunken kiss? Were you flirting all night? I can't believe you suddenly lunged at him, got him in a headlock and snogged the lips off him, with no premeditation at all.

This. What’s the long story. Do you really want a boyfriend 🤷‍♀️

SouthLondonMum22 · 26/03/2026 20:47

NormasArse · 26/03/2026 20:32

She should live with the guilt- it’s a lesson learned.

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OP's partner should get to decide if he wants to continue a relationship. It isn't about OP, it's about giving her partner the choice and not taking that away from him and deciding he doesn't get to know.

TooPoor4PandaPooTea · 26/03/2026 20:37

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:31

Eww just noticed you’re male. Are you looking for tank material?

Edited
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You groped another man over his jeans and think you don't need to tell your long term partner when you work with this man.

Ewwww is you.

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 20:36

5128gap · 26/03/2026 20:28

Its different posters though. To be double standards it would have to be the same posters saying different things to men than they do to women. I've never actually seen a man post on here that he drunkenly kissed a colleague and should he tell his wife. So I've certainly not spotted the same user names advising a man in this situation the opposite to what they've told the OP on here. So which posters are displaying double standards?

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I think if you looked at the polls they would show very things. A man asking would be ripped to shreds with the polls representing that whereas this one shows a nbu which is disgustingly really

dadtoateen · 26/03/2026 20:34

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:31

Eww just noticed you’re male. Are you looking for tank material?

Edited
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I have no idea what tank material is but….

what differs does it make that I’m male?

you have posted you have cheated on your partner, that’s plain wrong. Think many women agree but you chose my post to reply cause I’m a man?
hmmmm

NormasArse · 26/03/2026 20:32

Eightdayz · 26/03/2026 16:27

So many hypocrites when the shoes on the other foot.

Sure. Dont tell him. Enjoy living with the guilt.

She should live with the guilt- it’s a lesson learned.

Original poster
Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:31

dadtoateen · 26/03/2026 20:30

So you would be happy with your fella doing the same?
touched him over his jeans?? Assume it wasn’t the behind?

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Eww just noticed you’re male. Are you looking for tank material?

OP posts:
dadtoateen · 26/03/2026 20:30

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:24

Just hugging really, I touched him over his jeans, and he was grabbing my behind.

Show quote history

So you would be happy with your fella doing the same?
touched him over his jeans?? Assume it wasn’t the behind?

5128gap · 26/03/2026 20:28

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 19:15

My point still does stand that men and women are treated differently in these situations even if I didn’t word it how maybe was best.

if a man came on here and said the same thing he would be told to just leave his wife as she deserved better. In fact I can remember an exact post with a similar sort of thing where that was the general messages.

Show quote history

Its different posters though. To be double standards it would have to be the same posters saying different things to men than they do to women. I've never actually seen a man post on here that he drunkenly kissed a colleague and should he tell his wife. So I've certainly not spotted the same user names advising a man in this situation the opposite to what they've told the OP on here. So which posters are displaying double standards?

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 20:27

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:24

Just hugging really, I touched him over his jeans, and he was grabbing my behind.

Show quote history

oh come on

op this was so wrong. Your dp deserves to know

Original poster
Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:24

ThejoyofNC · 26/03/2026 20:20

What does a grope actually consist of?

Just hugging really, I touched him over his jeans, and he was grabbing my behind.

OP posts:
Satarn · 26/03/2026 20:21

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 19:12

wtf

I am one of the posters who is against the cheating. My post was directed at someone who criticised me for using a wrong term,

Show quote history

I am sorry about that i quoted the wrong comment, tried to get it removed but still waiting.
Ill ask mn again.

ThejoyofNC · 26/03/2026 20:20

What does a grope actually consist of?

narnia2025 · 26/03/2026 20:18

Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:15

Appreciate all replied and harsh words. Nearly 80% voting I would be unreasonable to tell him, which is more overwhelming than I thought.

No one can deny that that number would be wildly different if it was asking if a man should tell his wife he groped and kissed his younger colleague at a work do because he liked the attention

op if you don’t tell your dp your an awful person. He deserves to know that their has been a betrayal.

Original poster
Rachhh9 · 26/03/2026 20:15

Appreciate all replied and harsh words. Nearly 80% voting I would be unreasonable to tell him, which is more overwhelming than I thought.

OP posts:
Springiscom1ng · 26/03/2026 20:01

Of course you should tell your partner… so he can leave you and find someone better.
I assume you would want to know if he cheated on you?

sharkstale · 26/03/2026 19:53

Always surprised by these threads and the amount of people saying to keep your cheating a secret

Chetchy · 26/03/2026 19:51

Absolutely not.
But you really need to cop yourself on.
Why would you do that?
This is not the action of a woman happy in her relationship.
Do you really want to blow it up?

Tell him if you want to end it, cause huge drama and for him to never trust you again?

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