Should I tell my partner about drunken kiss with a colleague?

I wouldn’t be fine with it - if I found out I’d be very upset. If he very much regretted it and didn’t do it again (with anyone) then I’d rather not know at all. I’m sure he finds other women attractive as i find other men attractive - that’s not an issue.

Not very clear what each vote means

Does the OP feel terrible, though? Really?

A mistake is forgetting to buy milk on the way home from work not rubbing another man's hard on through his jeans and admitting you find him more attractive than your partner.

If my partner did the equivalent - snogged another woman, touched her sexually and then lamented that she was more attractive than me and he'd have to be careful in the future, I'd consider the relationship over anyway.

I think it’s awful to hide something like this. You are denying them the chance to decide if they want to stay in the relationship. If my OH kissed someone else that they will also continue to see 5 days a week then the relationship would be 100% over. Of course we all feel differently and that’s fine, he may be able to get over it but IMO it should be his choice once given the truth and an apology.

Yes of course it's an opinion thing.
Personally I think kissing and groping someone isn't a mistake... and in particular where the OP has been very detailed about this colleagues physique and how she'd need to be cautious around him again.

We don't know if her partner would be of a similar mindset to you or to I.

The other person deserves to know and decide for themselves if they want to continue the relationship. It isn't fair for the person to not only decide to kiss someone but then also decide for them to continue the relationship.

There is absolutely no respect involved at all. It's all about the person not wanting their partner to find out.

No. And stop drinking. Especially around your colleagues.

Because if my partner missed and touched another man through his jeans I would want to know about it.

Are you really saying you would be fine with your husband kissing and grabbing his coworkers bum and then continuing to work with her whilst admitting finding her attractive and knowing that he is gonna have to try and resist doing it again. You really wouldn’t want to know? Wouldn’t care? Because I certainly would and would be devastated.

How do you not realise they're voting that way because you were unreasonable to cheat on your long term partner..... absolutely mental

This is clearly more of an opinion thing. If my partner did this once, felt terrible about it and never did it again then I wouldn’t want to know - why ruin an otherwise good relationship? (and yes, I think you can have an otherwise good relationship even if you make one mistake at some point during it).

But if you are in love with someone you should respect them enough to atleast tell them the truth about your fuck up (though if you love someone you shouldn’t be looking elsewhere anyway)

Tell him and the he can decide if he wants to be with someone who doesn’t respect him or the relationship he’s in.

And you can be in love with someone who fecks off getting drunk kissing someone else while you're sitting at home too....

Ok, you can be in love with someone and still kiss someone else, and then afterwards consider that you made a mistake doing that.

There is a difference between loving someone ans being in love with them

Kissing someone is never an accident

This is why I think she needs to tell him

But i don't think she actually HAS realised it was a mistake.
She has said that of she was out with work again she would need to be careful around this particular colleague... which hints to me she really fancies him. She's also compared his physique and talked him up compared to her partner.
She didn't just have a quick peck or s little snog. They were getting handsy too.

She clearly has zero respect for her partner.

It’s a shitty thing to do. People do shitty things sometimes though. I’m saying it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her partner, and if she has now realised what a mistake it was and will never do it again then I’d question whether it’s worth ruining the relationship over. I would not want to know in that situation (drunken snog, will never happen again).

You feel this way for a reason. You love and respect him and know he deserves the chance to make an informed decision on whether to continue the relationship.

Personally I think I could overcome an instance of infidelity if there was a confession soon after. Much easier to believe there's true remorse rather than simply regretting it was found out

They aren't tripping up and landing with their tongue in someone's mouth ..they have agency
I am surprised how few people seem to have self respect or self control

You sound lovely...

I haven’t myself, but I’m aware it’s a thing that happens. Love isn’t some kind of magic shield. People make mistakes.

We just have a completely different view on reality then I guess. People are human, they make mistakes. Loving someone doesn’t mean that will never happen.

Hang on …. You do ??

or is it you have?

Shhhh this never happened