Should I tell my partner about drunken kiss with a colleague?

All you’ll be doing is alleviating your own guilt and putting misery on to him. Don’t tell him and put this down as a silly stupid mistake. Don’t do it again. If you do then you will have to do the right thing and let him go so he can find someone who’ll show him more respect

Ah sorry @narnia2025
But really, “far less” than a kiss & grope being LTB territory? “Far less” would be not much.
Just to confirm, I think such behaviour is very problematic indeed, by both men and women! I just think LTB would need more context, more background of bad behaviour. But maybe youre right, maybe this should be a LTB moment for OP’s DP. I don’t know! I don’t know what I would ultimately feel if I was OP’s DP.

I meant far less. I need to stop using Mumsnet when my brain fog is bad

Worse interactions ok - obviously worse interactions are very different (worse) to what we’re discussing here

This.

Say nothing. Your conscience is your punishment. Next time you go out socially stick to soft drinks.

To be “that drunk” that you accidentally kiss someone (whilst in a settled relationship) you’d surely have to be at the “I feel sick, dizzy, wobbly, can’t think properly or speak any sense” stage, or if you’re me, vomiting everywhere, then crying!
To be kissing someone who’s not my DP/DH would be a real no-no, as I wouldn’t be capable.

What is wrong with you?? Drunk or not, you know you have a partner. You don't just forget. You made a choice to cheat. Now you live with the consequences of whether he wants to stay with you. You must tell him.

You made your choice, now let him make his.

I think you should be honest here, OP. I have always suspected that something went on between my ex and former best friend. Neither admitted anything but I've always wondered.

I imagine he will pick up on the fact you are hiding something, if you choose to stay quiet.

A proper kiss and groping / touching him through his jeans 🤮
I just couldn't imagine being in that drunken state... but yet vividly remembering it

This.

And also how can you get so drunk you kiss someone? It’s one thing to flirt with them but a proper kiss is totally another thing.

You should absolutely tell him, so he can make an informed decision about whether he wants to stay in a relationship with someone who cheats.

You sound incredibly blasé about it all.

Oohhhh, work ‘dos’ are such a mine field, OP.

We still talk about work parties from over 13 years back, and ‘what went on’
You are lucky that nobody saw you or put 2+2 together that you were last to leave.

On a side note, can I ask - the way you described him came over like you think he’s gorgeous, you gave him much more description than you did your DH…
am I right in thinking you weren’t sorry about this happening if you were 100% truthful with yourself?

If you, maybe you need to do some serious thinking about your relationship with your DH.

From your updates OP, I think you do need to have a word with yourself. Because doing that not only when you have a partner, but with a young colleague is beyond daft if you value your relationship and professional integrity.
If you want to get drunk and get off with young guys, I'm sure there would be plenty willing to oblige you. But that's a thing for when you're single and out with your friends not when attached and on a works do.
You can't have everything in life all at the same time. So you need to decide if you want to be in a committed relationship or if you still want to play around.

He’s younger than you. Wondering if 1) he can keep his mouth shut 2) was a dare his friends

a drunken kiss is bad. A drunken grope is bad

@dadtoateen made a good point. How would you feel @Rachhh9if your partner did the same. Rubbed a much younger girl between her legs. Fondled her boobs etc

you didn’t answer how long you have been together ?

OP - Regarding the "other party" in this, you said he was younger than your DP. What's his position in the company - is he junior to you, senior, work in the same team?
Are you his manager?
Is he yours ?
Is he likely to use this as leverage in the workplace in the future?
Is he likely to tell all his mates at work (and out of it) that he thinks he's getting in your knickers at some point ?
Has he already told everyone that he did anyway?

It takes two to tango and he might be thinking he's still on the floor...

This is how I read the voting to.

I voted YABU due to not wanting him to know, not because you should keep it from him.

Some things are honestly better left unsaid. It was unwitnessed, I'm presuming that there is no digital footprint of your brief dalliance that could bite you in the arse, nobody's sexual health was put at risk and there is no chance of an unwanted pregnancy. You don't mention children, but I'm presuming that you have a shared life together, perhaps a home and combined finances, is it really worth imploding your relationship, finances and home over 10 minutes of silly drunken madness(apologies for the arbitary timeframe but this is an estimation)?

I used to work in finance in London. What you have described sounds incredibly tame compared to the brazen behaviour from men sporting wedding rings after work drinks on Friday. These men often had children or even children on the way; they would stumble back on the train to the Home Counties and their spouses would be none the wiser. You can bet that none of those men agonised over their actions.

Give yourself some grace and recognise you are a human being that made a silly mistake after overdoing it on the booze. Despite what some holier than thou, black and white thinking mumsnetters would purport, many of us have been there in some form after overdoing it.

What's it got to do with that poster what other posters on other threads might say? If I said I didn't eat meat would you accuse me of hypocrisy because somewhere on another thread some of the other 8 million users were discussing how much they enjoyed a steak? MN is not one very busy woman with inconsistent views you know.

As everyone posts under a thread that starts “My DH had a drunken snog and grope with a colleague at a work event. He said that it meant nothing and was a one time thing but I don’t think that I can trust him anymore. What should I do?”

Quite. The only willy-rubbing happening here is by the OP.

no i wouldn’t want to know, nor would I tell, it’s a stupid one off thing. Don’t get so pissed again.

Yes it is completely different - that’s what I was saying. I wouldn’t care about that bit. The drunken kiss I would definitely care about and so would rather not know if it was a one-off over a possibly 30 year long relationship. Completely understand other people may think differently though.

Finding someone else attractive is normal... but completely different to fondling someone through their clothes on a night out.