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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it weird to say you are taking your spouse out to dinner?

44 replies

FeelinLost · 26/03/2026 16:01

Weird one but my male friend said the other day that he is taking his wife out for dinner. I know households can be different but when you're a shared household, joint bank account etc, are you really taking the other one out? Or are you taking them out because you have booked it/organised it rather than paying?

Am I being unreasonable to ask if its weird he said he is taking his wife out? 😂

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WalkDontWalk · 27/03/2026 13:33

That would be the language in our house. Sort of depends who suggested and arranged it. Has nothing to do with who's paying for it.

StrawberrySquash · 27/03/2026 12:22

It's nice to make an occasion of it. I took my OH to dinner when I got a surprise tax rebate for example. Spread the joy.

NormasArse · 27/03/2026 11:50

I’ve been married for 29 years and have never shared a bank account with DH. We take each other out! We do share a mortgage account though.

CruCru · 27/03/2026 11:48

I tend to think this means he has booked it and booked a babysitter.

Waitingfordoggo · 27/03/2026 11:37

I assume he means he is paying out of his own savings/income rather than joint funds. My husband takes me out for lunch or dinner sometimes.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 27/03/2026 11:35

This has prompted me to message DP and ask him if he wants to take me for dinner on Saturday night (from our joint account)

KimberleyClark · 27/03/2026 11:12

MidnightPatrol · 26/03/2026 16:04

I think it’s quite sweet, like they’ve organised a date!

Not every married couple shares all their money!

Hard agree!

Scripturient · 27/03/2026 11:02

BauhausOfEliott · 26/03/2026 16:48

You're overthinking this.

It's not a remotely weird thing to say; it's just a common figure of speech. If he was the one that planned the evening and booked the restaurant, he's taking her out. It's fine.

Also, plenty of people don't have entirely shared finances. DP and I don't have any joint bank accounts.

Yes, to this, and neither do we have shared accounts.

EnterFunnyNameHere · 27/03/2026 11:00

GeniusofShakespeare · 26/03/2026 16:10

We have joint finances but I consider myself to have been taken out when DH organises it all.

Hard agree.

We do have separate "personal spends" accounts too, but even if the meal is paid for from the joint account, whoever has bothered to do the organising is definitely considered to be taking the other out in our house.

AnnaQuayRules · 26/03/2026 18:02

MimiSunshine · 26/03/2026 16:07

Maybe they have separate accounts?
maybe they have a joint bills account and individual personal spends accounts.

This!
I sometimes take DH out, he sometimes takes me. Although I rarely say it like that, I'd tell people that we're going out to dinner at X restaurant, I probably wouldn't mention which one of us is paying.

TheChosenTwo · 26/03/2026 17:59

Dh and I have some joint accounts for a few things and we each have our own accounts where we transfer money every month for our own discretionary money.
When we go out for dinner Dh always pays! Unless it’s his birthday (and even then the bugger always tries to pay). I like him ‘taking me out for dinner’. I do sometimes treat him to a lunch out, I’m not a total monster 😂

Twoshoesnewshoes · 26/03/2026 17:55

Yep we often say this
me -‘are you taking me out to dinner?’
we share all of our finances.

Lurkingandlearning · 26/03/2026 17:52

FeelinLost · 26/03/2026 16:08

It could be that deep down I am jealous my husband doesn't "take me out" 😂 we do go out for dinner though.

That is probably what is bothering you about it.

Couples must have some spending money of their own to treat each other now and again to a meal. If not every birthday present, Xmas present random bunch of flowers is a joint expense. You pay half for your own gifts.

1000StrawberryLollies · 26/03/2026 17:51

YABU. We have been married over 20 years. We have a joint account but also our own accounts. Mostly we'd just 'go out to dinner' but if it were one of our birthdays or something, we might take each other out for dinner.

hippomail · 26/03/2026 17:48

YABU.

My DP of 24 years takes me out for dinner occasionally. Books the table at a restaurant, wears smart clothes, does the driving and pays for it with his fun money. I love it.

Hollowvoice · 26/03/2026 17:45

We don't pool all of our money.
Sometimes (very occasionally!) we "go out for dinner"
Sometimes I "take DH out" as in I plan, book and pay from my own money
Sometimes he takes me out, same parameters

gannett · 26/03/2026 17:43

We have a shared account for bills, holidays, household expenses etc, and if we decide to randomly go out for dinner, we'll pay from that.

If I'm taking DP out for his birthday or vice versa, we'll pay from our personal accounts.

But it's also just a turn of phrase that might not mean anything and is not worth thinking twice about.

Shoxfordian · 26/03/2026 17:34

Depends on how the finances work, we pay into the joint account monthly then leftover money is ours to spend so we do take each other out

Moveoverdarlin · 26/03/2026 17:21

My DH is taking me out for dinner tomorrow night for my birthday. He’s booked it, he’s paying for it, he’s driving. So yeah he’s taking me out. I have no idea where we are going.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 26/03/2026 17:18

Mumsnet has taught me that not all married couples share finances.

Many of them have a 'household' account that they both contribute to, but after that their money's their own.

DryIce · 26/03/2026 17:16

We pool money but I still might say I was taking him out if I'd booked and organised

Wiennetta · 26/03/2026 17:12

We have a shared account but also separate accounts. We both put money into a shared account each month that covers mortgage, bills and things like the food shop and shared social stuff like meals out or coffees. We pay for our separate social stuff and personal spending (like clothes or hobbies) from our own accounts.

And sometimes we use our own personal accounts to treat each other for birthday presents, and other date nights. My husband paid for a meal out last weekend, he booked it and organised it. I’ve suggested somewhere this weekend and I’ll pay for it. So yes we ‘take each other out’. I like it, it’s a nice treat and feels like a date night.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 26/03/2026 17:00

Our meals out don't come out of our joint account which is for bills and general expenditure (so food shopping but not eating out). So either one person would be treating the other or we'd split the bill.

Lemondrizzle13 · 26/03/2026 16:57

I think you’re being a bit pedantic,

It’s just a figure of speech really. He’s probably organised it or used his own spends to pay.

I wouldn’t necessarily take it in the literal sense.

Mariooooocart · 26/03/2026 16:54

Me and my husband share finances and if we go for dinner we mostly pay from the joint. However on payday we both take an set equal amount out of the joint as our own personal spending money to do what we want. My husband often treats me out of his portion.

So you have no idea how they run finances.