SIL thinks I have over reacted banning her from my house

YANBU - SIL cannot be trusted. Do you think DN would listen if she came without her mum?
Not that you have any obligation but it might shut MIL up…

I bet she tells her child to go and pat that nice doggy when they are out and about without asking the owner, too...

Your SIL has done the FAFO thing hasn't she?
If your niece was hurt or frightened, it's on her. Horses aren't cuddly toys ffs

Your In Laws do no like being told no and they think they can do as they want so they must be in shock that you banned them from you stables.

Am sorry, you can't fix stupid and you're 100% right to ban them for their own safety.
It's also not good for the animals to have people who don't respect them.

In the least patronising way, I want to say well done. Always great to read where people stand up to numpties.

That would be far too late. A ring camera on the main gate though, and fierce signs everywhere...

Your sister sounds as though she is a spoilt brat in your family.

For fuck's sake, SIL is a candidate for a Darwin award. Riding instructor here, and furious at her on your behalf. It wouldn't have taken much of a difference for that kick or that bite to have given her child a brain injury that she may never recover fully from. SIL is an EXTRA special type of moron if, having witnessed that, she still thinks you're just being mean.

SIL and MIL can have a strip torn off each of them with the emphasis on the exact life limiting consequences that child very nearly experienced from her mother's wanton disregard for your clear boundaries. Make it very clear that you are ANGRY because SIL's actions were DANGEROUS to her and her daughter and that your number one priority is for nobody to be INJURED or KILLED.

People who cannot follow safety instructions have NO business being around horses, dogs, or livestock (as a starter for 10). They do NOT get to fuck around and find out on your horses.

Sadly I'd also be be redoubling the signage around the property at this. Big old DO NOT TOUCH THE HORSES. DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT SUPERVISION. DO NOT APPROACH THIS HORSE signs on the gate, and signs on each stable. Just in case this isn't the last you've seen of them.

I would let the niece back and take her yourself and let her meet the horses. But sil nope

@Happyhorse222

YADNBU.

But if I were you I'd install some kind of alert system that will 'ping' your phone if someone enters the stable. If SiL is that entitled she may take it on herself to show DN that that 'horses aren't dangerous'.

Clearly you are angry and annoyed and youve had a falling out with your sister in law over the matter. Your mother in law has involved herself nnd taken your sister in laws side. Now, I dont have horses, I do have dogs. A horse is a large animal, you told your relatives to stay well away from this unpredictable animal and not to approach his stable and not to approach the other horses without you being there for safety reasons. Its the same issue with my dogs, they are corgies and one is not friendly and may snap. I therefore ask kindly for people not to touch him for that reason. I think you should let things cool down with this silly woman and then send her a card and a note. You should put it in writing that with regards to approaching your horses you make rules for safety reasons and expect them to be adhered to. Also, point out that if a horse is not a novice ride you reserve the right to decline your niece an opportunity to be thrown off it and sustain serious injury. On your property, they and anyone else must do as you say, you are not being mean youre just keeping people safe. Also state that any visitor coming to your home and stables announces their arrival with you and doesnt go directly to the stables. Say they are always welcome but you must enforce these rules to keep people safe and to ensure your horses welfare and that you hope they will understand this. Nothing to do with the mother in law she should have kept out of the issue. Ignore her outburst. Hope you can resolve the matter.

his mother has been on the phone saying I have ruined his nieces experience with horses

And you replied...
"No, the lack of DN listening to and following advice from someone in the know and thinking it doesn’t apply to her has ruined DN's experience with horses"

Did you give these messages in writing to both SIL and niece? Or just verbally?
Some people with severe ADHD are completely unable to take in and retain info. Their brain hears what they think is being said or what they want to hear. Or their executive functioning let’s them down and they just don’t process the words so that at the point when they need to act upon what they should have been listening to their brain says, “she didn’t really mean what she said about the horse. It won’t hurt me. It will know not to hurt me.”

I have to stress that this is severe ADHD only. On the severe end of the spectrum. Their brain simply changes reality because they are too impatient to do as they have been advised, or they think you were exaggerating.

if not, she is simply a drama queen who wants to cause a fuss and disrupt your life. Perhaps she is jealous of your stables? Sounds like she got it from her mother.

Your SIL’s entitlement is off the charts. YADNBU

100% YANBU vote so far!

Was SIL kicked in the head by a horse as a child?

Horses are not toys. If they want to restore her confidence they can buy her a pony ride with professionals, and leave your poor horses alone.

“I have said absolutely fuck off basically until they can actually listen to me around my animals and my property”

Couldn’t have put it better myself! They should absolutely fuck off.

They should be ashamed and apologetic, not distraught and angry. Ffs.

Your SIL is fully to blame here. Your niece is simply following her Mum, she probably didn't know anything about the instructions you gave your SIL. Your SIL knowingly put her daughter in danger, because she failed to follow your instructions. I think for your niece's safety and that of your horses, you are within your rights to ban your SIL.

The stupidity and entitlement of some people never ceases to amaze me. Sounds like MIL might have been enabling it for quite some time as well.

Ask your MIL and SIL if they'd have such a chill attitude if the horse was a gun? because both have the potential to kill and need to be treated with the same about of respect.

Bunch of morons, I feel sorry for the niece because her mother is a fool

I do so enjoy a 100% YANBU poll.

YANBU

I’d be quite clear the horse could have killed your niece, and next time might kill your niece - and how would that help her confidence?!

If MIL is so concerned can't she pay for lessons?