SIL thinks I have over reacted banning her from my house

I have no absolutely no sympathy for either of them. If your niece seriously wants to be a rider in future, she needs to start by learning to treat horses with respect. They're wonderful creatures but potentially very dangerous too. And when someone with your experience clearly states that your niece should not approach the new, dangerous horse and your niece ignores your advice, then the consequences are on her and her feckless mother, not you. In your shoes I wouldn't allow them back on the property either.

My daughter, who is experienced with horses has a pony and was loaning a slightly bigger one. Second pony was a handful and on a hack got spooked, reared and flipped over and trod on her. DD landed on her face. His hoof missed her spine by an inch. After a very stressful night the full CT scan revealed she had escaped any damage other than extensive soft tissue damage. Her hat saved her life.

A friend's daughter who is not experienced, decided to get on her friends gypsy cob who is carted, not ridden. No hat, said cob reared, threw her off and she has had to have extensive plastic surgery to fix her face.

So no your SIL is being ridiculously stupid and entitled. Horses are not toys. They are grumpy, naughty and stubborn. Feel free to use these examples.

I like this idea

This, it needs to be a permanent ban.

Why do some people think horses are public property?

the poor lad must have been thinking wtf when your SIL and niece rocked up

They sound so self-entitled. Ask them what makes them so entitled they can ignore your safety rules, guidance, and boundaries? Tell them if this were a paid for stable, they would be permanently banned, and to take her to a paid horsing establishment if they are that concerned.

They must be thick as shit.

Horses are big and heavy. Just an accidental side step onto my foot caused a load of broken bones. A reactive kick or bite could cause so much damage to a child. Why would they want to expose their DC to horses whose owner has advised they aren’t suitable?

You could have your niece back - just with you

Better that they combust virtually than decompose naturally...

One hoof to the head and it's curtains.

Horses are far too powerful to be around twats that don't listen.So unfair on them.

I'm not sure if your niece also knew the rules,but I'd be pretty pissed off with my DS9 if he ignored basic requests and walked around his auntie's property without so much as a hello.

Let her spontaneously combust & the MIL

you are right in this scenario. Point re the niece is probably valid but thats down to SIL not you. Can you have niece over and show her properly with no harm?

Not to ride, more to explain the rules and why they are exist. My DC is also 10 and is perfectly safe around large competition horses and youngsters because they know the dangers and the rules. They are also never unsupervised of course.
Agree a riding school if she wants to learn to ride but then again some of the worst accidents I’ve seen have been riding school horses lashing out when they’ve had enough

I'd be wild with SIL for disregarding your clear safety instructions, but I'd also be wild that she has piled extra stress onto an already stressed animal.

She’s had more than enough warnings now she’s going to learn to listen to you.

Your SiL is an ignorant idiot.

Good luck with letting down your horse - I remember a Pony Club mate of mine had an ex-racehorse who'd had to be let out into the field for about 6 months to get the craziness out of his system (we suspected doping of some sort ...). He was then a lovely gentle big boy.

They are distraught because of they are feeling the consequences of their own (dangerous) behaviour.

I wouldn't be entertaining listening to their whingeing.

Your horse , your stable , your house . You did right to tell them not to return . Hope you actually did say fuck off , and I'd be telling my mil to do the same .

You have done nothing wrong. You are correct, if they cannot follow simple instructions about your horses and how to ensure their safety around them then they cannot visit.

If anything been around unsettled and dangerous horses with chances for incident's or injury will be more damaging for the girls confidence.

They should trust you if you say you have nothing suitable. Riding an unsuitable horse is dangerous to the rider.

You need to stand firm. My MIL had a similar situation with DH's cousin, who wanted to ride and according to her aunt had "had some lessons". Mil owns several high level competition horses - one for dressage, one for jumping and one for cross country and her other 3 are severely traumatized ex and "failed" racehorses who are terrified of anyone under 5'7, cannot be walked behind, hear loud noises, touched on their back ends or tacked up by anyone other than MIL. It took MIL many many months to even get a saddle on their back and she is incredibly experienced with rehabilitating traumatised horses and does it as a job.

You didnt ruin her experience with horses, her mom did. If she feels she needs more contact with horses, as you have banned her, she needs to put her hand in her pocket and pay for lessons.

Being around a horse is like driving a car, you don't fuck around, fucking around can get you killed.

Well done on banning the fuckwits. Of course if niece had ended up seriously injured that would be your fault.

Fuck about and find out 🤷🏻‍♀️

If SIL and MIL saw some photographs of injuries caused by horses, maybe they'd realise how stupid they are to persist in thinking of them as giant teddies.

Agree with everyone else: SIL and MIL are idiots, and are setting niece up to be just the same, poor kid.

SIL and MIL would have something to moan about if your horse had head butted your niece and knocked her teeth out or even kicked her resulting in badly broken bones, maybe even worse!

i don’t keep horses but after attending many horse related incidents where the riders were thrown and injured I do know that horses need to be approached with care.

Make sure you or your husband put it in writing in some form too. So if she decides to ignore the ban and she or your niece get injured you have evidence if she tried to hold you liable.

Absolutely refuse to engage with either of them. Leave it to your dh or you will inevitably come off as The Bad Guy.