SIL thinks I have over reacted banning her from my house

Poor kid. Going to end up a selfish, ignorant idiot just like her mother at this rate.

The worst bit about this is you probably need to make sure all your warnings are on record to them - email or message - as they have such serious form for not listening something terrible could happen.

https://www.lep.co.uk/news/horse-rider-killed-by-aggressive-stallion-2556076

Yanbu ,your SIL , Mil and niece are being ridiculous. People don't think of horses as aggressive animals but they absolutely can be. Reminded me of this, we know these people and they really knew what they were doing around horses but a decision to go in the field alone with their new 'fiesty' horse resulted in this terrible tragedy.

Agreeing with all previous “SIL is unbelievably cretinous”, posters.

Gentle suggestion, it could be worth asking your insurance folk for their suggestions as to how to protect yourselves from infuriating know-it-all, deaf & selfdistruct ‘relatives’.

Tell her that she has deliberately put DN in danger, refuses all instructions & if DN had been injured she would be blaming you.
If niece wants to regain confidence she needs to go to a petting zoo. Your animals are NOT there for SIL stupidity.

Your SIL sounds like one of those tedious people Who Won't Be Told What To Do ~ tell them not to do something and they'll do it all the more.

It would be helpful to have the written text for a couple of reasons.
Firstly if SIl starts wailing at other family members that she didn't know the horse was dangerous, no-one told her etc etc.
Also if SIL or neice do get hurt and try to come after OP for any costs (I mean you'd hope not but SIL clearly lives in her own little world so who knows) having written confirmation she knew the horse was dangerous and was told not to go near it could be very helpful.

They can be distraught as much as they fancy, it's nothing to do with you.
Tell your husband he can deal with them from now on as there's nothing in the relationship for you and they're unstable. (No pun intended)

You are not being unreasonable you are being very thoughtful and safety conscious, people have no understanding of horses. And as for those ‘sweet’ little Shetlands, they can be nasty little feckers ( lighthearted)

Good grief, your sil is an idiot. Poor horse 🐴 Niece could’ve been seriously hurt.

Even experienced horse riders can get injured. Horses are such emotional animals. Even experienced horse riders like Princess Anne get kicked by one on occasion!

YANBU OP.

OP, stick to your guns.
Your SIL is a moron.
Tell your MIL to mind her own business.
Let your husband deal with them and see his family at theirs.
Make the ban permanent.

Does SIL have any idea the damage a horse bite can do or just how strong horses are? Niece could have been scalped, picked up and thrown or had muscle ripped from bone, let alone the damage a kick can inflict.

I'd not change your stance as there is the potential for severe injury. It's highlu likely that they'd try to do a ride on your other horses if you weren't around - she just wanted to sit on it and walk around- I can hear it now.

To be honest with you, like really being honest, that side your family/in laws don’t respect you or care about what you have to say. Everything indicates they do not take you seriously, could not care less about your opinion, and probably think you over exaggerate or cause drama or something. Otherwise why else do they consistently ignore what you say about safety?

Going forward, your husband deals with his family direct surely? As you’re already being painted as a wicked witch.

Your SIL sounds like a moron. I just can't get my head arod what she was thinking. Did she think you were lying about the horse or something? I can't understand any parent who is happy to ignore safety warnings and put their child in danger.
YADNBU.

Written warning? They’re family members, idiotic ones mind you, but family, not employees. Goodness me. Verbal ‘you’re banned from my property’ is more than sufficient. No disciplinary procedures necessary! 🤣

Fucking hell! Your poor horse, hope he found somewhere suitable to go to.

Hope you named and shamed the stables, they should be shut down!

I think you might've gone a wee bit ott banning them from your house but completely agree the stables/anywhere near the horses are a no go from now on. They can't be trusted and it's sheer luck your niece wasn't seriously injured. Stick to your guns OP!

We once had friends turn up unannounced with their two boys in full riding gear, clearly expecting me to pop them on a couple of my horses. Except at the time I had a bunch of unbroken youngsters and a crabby old broodmare who would've killed anyone who dared to approach her with a saddle 😂

What a pity your horses are the only horses in the entire world. Wouldn’t it be magical for your niece if other horses existed? Some enterprising soul could even set up a business with the most calm and amenable ones and teach people to ride.

I also hate having family/friends and their kids come to ‘visit’ my horses and yard.
The yard is my space and I hate having people coming down to see them like it’s a petting zoo.
I’m a proper misery 😂

40 years with horses and have a livery yard. They wouldn’t be going near any of my horses again!

I don't know horses at all but it should be obvious that they are living breathing feeling beings.
My car behaves just fine for me.
I would not let a 10 year old drive it.
It is not even a living breathing being. It is almost entirely predictable.
But as pp said, you can't reason with stupid. Maybe the car analogy would help your MIL see it though. Letting the 10 year old drive a car wouldn't get her over anxiety about road accidents.... Why would a horse that's not safe for her help? Sheesh.

Surely part of gaining confidence with animals is gaining a sense of when to go near them and when to leave them alone eg when you have clearly been told to?
Rolls eyes at SIL and MIL you’re clearly not in the wrong.

She needs to go to a riding school and ride a nice little school master if she wants her confidence back.

I had this with a livery owner once. I moved my previously abused rescue horse to the livery and she had very clear information about his history. He is a doddle and the sweetest horse ever, once he knows you and trusts you.

He was not on the yard 3 hours before I got a call that he’d taken a swipe at her 5 year old and needed to be removed immediately. Rescue horse, fresh off the trailer from a move where he’d had to leave his long time companion, literally 3 hours in a new setting and I raced over there to find her 5 year old, I’m not joking, literally roller skating through the yard and swinging on his stable door, hence why he tried to kick her in the bloody head.

Apparently, they ran a livery because the little girl loves horses and she likes to get up in the morning while they are all still in bed and go play in the field with the horses unsupervised. My poor rescue horse was deemed not okay to play with and roller skate with so had to go. I literally put him back on the trailer and we left. Some people, even so called horse people, have zero sense.

You are 100% in the right and, in your position, I would stand my ground.

No doubt SIL has massively downplayed it all looking to paint you as the "bad guy" and gather sympathy.

I'd be glad to be rid of her. If she is so concerned about her daughter she wouldn't have put her in that situation in the first placed. Furthermore, your horses are not the only ones in the UK. So if SIL is indeed ever so keen for her daughter to be around horses she can go visit others (and no doubt get banned from there too!).