Burnt out caring for elderly dog with chronic skin and eye issues

OP it's wrong to keep a dog alive just because otherwise you'd feel guilty. This dog has 101 problems by the sounds of it and the vet is just seeing pound signs. Unfortunately putting down a dog means no more money for the vets so they are often keen to try every other possible solution.

I think putting this dog to sleep would be a kindness to both of you, they've had a good length of life but the problems are becoming too much.

@Cel119 do you think the dog enjoys his quality of life?

You're clearly not enjoying the dog.

I have dogs but if this were me and my dog then I'd have the dog put down as it clearly isn't nice for the dog being like this.

I wonder whether a farm vet would be a bit more pragmatic. I remember my Mum (years ago) telling a vet that she couldn’t afford a kidney transplant for our elderly cat; he took her seriously and told her that there were many other things he could try. She was a bit taken aback and got on much better with the vet who didn’t keep suggesting it was her duty to prolong the life of an old cat with various heart and kidney problems.

Why sarcastic? Putting this dog to sleep sounds like the right (and obvious) thing to do.

OP, your posts are loaded with guilt and angst. Please stop worrying and put this into perspective. You lost your DM and took on her extremely difficult and unwell dog. Good for you! Many people would not have done that. Since taking him on you've impoverished and exhausted yourself trying to care for him and it's made not the slightest bit of difference - he's still sick and arguably his issues have got even worse. He may still have energy, but his quality of life must be very poor. Imagine for a moment that you have the skin, eye and digestive issues that he has. Would you be happy? Loving life? Feeling good? Of course you wouldn't. His life is shit, despite all the stress you've put yourself through to try and make it better.

The kindest thing you could do, for both of you, is have him PTS. He's lived to 13, which is a decent age for a dog. So what if you had one that lived longer? I had a cat that lived to 19, but no other cat that anyone in my family has ever owned has lived that long, so that one was an anomaly. You don't have to keep doing this. Lose the guilt, accept that his life is shit and that you've done enough. It's time to take him to the vet for the final time. You are the owner, the decision is yours and yes, many people get their pets PTS because they've had enough. You don't have to martyr yourself for this dog

Just don’t let the vet pressure you to spend a lot more money and put yourself and the dog through further distress.

'She then died, in her sleep, of a heart attack. No, im not blaming him, but i do think it contributed to her death andit does take its toll on the owner and I have grown sick to the bsck teeth.'

Disturbed sleep wouldn't have caused a heart attacked, she'll sadly have had heart disease or other underlying issues.

This is such a sad situation for you and the poor dog.

Sorry about your dm op and sorry about the situation you're in now with your dog .

You need to be realistic, he is 13 not a young dog and sounds like his quality of life is very poor so you sadly need to consider euthanasia. Also, do try and go in with him upsetting though it is, we are their everything and all dogs hate the vets. We should be with them at the end to comfort them .

Why on earth aren't you seeking an opinion from another vet? You aren't locked into any contracts.

Your resentment for both the dog and the vet are oozing out of every post!

Find another vet that will give fresh eyes on his conditions, and perhaps be more compassionate with regards to the PTS option.

He’s at the end of his happy life. Putting him to sleep would be the kindest thing for him. And you.

I think this poster was being serious. It does sound as though it would be kinder to put this dog to sleep.

It sounds as though you have done a lot to make the dog’s life more comfortable but are reaching the end. That is all right. You and your needs are important too, you cannot sacrifice your wellbeing (you mention having to get up at 3 then 7 every night and endlessly clean up) for a dog.

Aw the poor thing has suffered enough, please let him go 😥

Because of the circumstances you are attributing motives to the dog that he hasn’t got. The scooting and eating grass etc aren’t behavioural, he is uncomfortable. I wouldn’t feel guilty about having him pts , you and the dog are both unhappy and he knows you’re cross with him. I think your feelings about the dog are related to your bereavement. I actually would feel more guilty about keeping this going. Show him a bit of love and spoil him for a week then let him go.

Honestly, I’m not. It sounds like you and the dog are suffering.

Have you taken him to a different vet if you're unhappy with the current one? Have you taken him to a vet that specializes in dermatology? Eye specialist?
My dog had severe gut issues as a puppy so we saw an internal medicine vet, 12 years on and his issues are barely present due to diet and medication.
Oh and your dog isn't deliberately eating grass to be revengeful, I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. Dogs eat grass when they have stomach issues. He's trying to tell you how he's feeling but you're so full of resentment you cannot see it. Poor dog.

Heh, I looked at the Raw tripe & oily fish mince and thought it must smell vile!

If you're spending this much at the vet's, I would have thought he'd been tested (and treated as necessary) for underlying conditions like thyroid, liver, kidney, stomach ulcers, blood disorder, etc. An autoimmune condition as serious as this would usually be connected to some other organ malfunction, hence my thought it's probably allergic.

I have heard of cynical vets ignoring problems in order to persist treatments, though it must be quite rare. It's still worth consulting another vet for a fresh perspective, though?

If he's scooting the carpet, he's got a bum problem. Presumably the vet and groomer have checked for anal gland congestion and treated it? This could also be due to worms, but I presume he hasn't got those, or to an allergy.

Everything you've described does point to allergies but I'm not sure what you can do about it. On the point of asking you how he does with human food, I looked up Butternut Box and found it basically is human food. They do a probiotic powder as well, which might help his diarrhoea and irritation.

Do you use scented household products? Pets can be very susceptible to them.

The groomer thinks its from vaccines
I would not rely on the groomer for medical expertise! Your vet sounds unpleasant, though, is there another one you can try?

I do understand everyone saying it's time to bump him off, and also understand that you care about the dog and he's still got plenty of energy. It could be worth trying a different vet and a bit of lateral thinking about allergens.

If nothing improves, then ... 😢

ETA: Crossed with @WiddlinDiddlin's very nice reply.

He isn't capable of the revenge/spite actions you're assigning to him (I am a dog behaviour consultant, I am not pulling this out of my arse).

He may be showing signs of doggy dementia, or he may have been conditioned to go in the house, like thats the correct spot, or he may feel worried/insecure outside (many elderly dogs do) and so feel its not safe to toilet out there.

Eating grass that then makes him sick suggests some sort of tummy/digestive issue, yes he is eating it to help him bring something up, but that is to make him feel more comfortable, how could he possibly understand that cleaning carpet is a pain in the backside for you or that living with the smell of puke on things is gross?

Biting when handled - its sore its uncomfortable its scary, sometimes more so than others, if you've ever ignored him growling or told him off for objecting, he may well think there is no point communicating more subtly and just drop those behaviours and go straight for the bite.

Dragging behind/pulling on walks often linked to pain, and potentially feeling insecure/anxious so wants to stop or wants to just charge through it and get it over with - both/either will reduce anyones ability to listen, think, learn, exercise impulse control.

I do understand how emotionally draining it is (and physically at times) living with a very old dog - our Tibetan Terrier died at 17 years old, a few days after christmas. For several years he'd had to be carried up and down stairs (he would attempt do them himself but it wasn't sensible to let him) and would occasionally wee in his sleep or not get himself to the door in time. He had several vestibular attacks, needed a fair bit of medication and support, couldn't be left alone as he was blind and would get himself stuck somewhere in his search for his favourite toy.

We understood though that none of his behaviour was revenge/spite related, thats not something dogs are capable of - he was just trying to keep himself comfy, do what he wanted to do (because dogs are self-centered little beings, they aren't capable of human levels of empathy!), keep himself safe etc.

We found that Vitofyllin really helped cut down on the doggy dementia moments where he'd grind to a halt and forget what it was he was trying to do. We also gave him Lions Mane which also seemed to help.

To keep him outside long enough to go to the toilet and ensure he felt generally relaxed and happy out there, we'd scatter some stinky fish kibble (use whatever your dog can eat) for him to sniff out which being blind, took him a while. The sniffing around and gentle movement both relaxes and increases the chances of going to the toilet though he did need total supervision as when his feet found the ramp up the steps that would trigger his 'going back inside' routine even if he hadn't been yet.