AIBU asking teacher to stop giving sweets?

So let me see if I understand - you want to have your son excluded from having a jelly sweet because he will need to go to the dentist.

Kids are always going to need the dentist. It’s free up the age of 19 in the uk and it’s costing you nothing.

Stop being controlling and overbearing.

Yes, that’s exactly the point I was making.

The poster I was replying to was saying sweets make children obese, and I was pointing out that the leading factor in childhood obesity is economic background.

As I previously said, I fully disagree with the teacher handing out sweets. Of course “bags of sugar” would likely make a child obese over time, but a few sweets throughout the school day for the OP’s child who has a healthy diet at home will lead to poor dental health, not obesity.

The kids at my school eat their fair share of junk, but have that privilege of a higher economic background and the health benefits which come with that.

My kids are grown up and perfectly happy thanks. I think you are kind of missing the point!

or maybe adult teachers should know better than to be providing food as a reward to children. SMH.🙄🤦‍♀️

Key words here are independent school
Demographics, innit?
Go and stand outside a primary school in deprived area and you’ll see obese children. You might then change your mind about teachers handing out bags of sugar without parental consent.

So the teacher provided a sweet reward and a toy reward and your child chose the sweet reward. Maybe tell your child to pick the toy reward?

when I read stuff like this I’m so glad I’m not a teacher.

teachers like this are the worst. They want to be seen as “nice” and get that feel-good vibe from making small kids happy, but don’t actually give a shit about harming them. Nor do they have any respect for parental authority because deep down they are fully aware that no parent spends thousands of pounds to have their kids plied with sugary crap every day.

I would- and have - complained in similar situations.

The good thing is that people like that are vulnerable to being shamed (since they so badly want to be liked).

I would ask for an advanced schedule of when junk food is given in class, what the school policy around behaviour is, and request that the kids teeth be brushed after ever piece of sugary junk food is given to them (the goal here isn’t to actually get the school to brush their teeth but it’s to be such a pain in the arse they don’t want to deal with you). I would also send in a formal letter to the head about it. yes it will upset the teacher but you should be prepared to do that.

also, if you can be really tactful about stirring up angst among other parents they may write their own letters.

I think it's fairly crappy teaching practice to continually bribe/reward in this way - with ANY type of reward! They will quickly lose their glamour and the children will stop bothering after a while, as it'll lose value/meaning. It's also a cheap way to buy authority/popularity by handing out sweeties all the time.

I'm not generally on the side of the Sugar Police but I do agree with others that rewarding with sugar is ultimately not a good idea, and one that becomes the child and parents' problem rather than the teacher's. So rather than ask, can my child be the only one left out (that's not fair and I'd say worse than risking a cavity!) I'd ask if the teacher can just stop handing out sweets as rewards. It's really not best practice.

You are not being unreasonable and you are right about this kind of continual eating of sugar means that the teeth are exposed to sugar over a longer period of time than just meal times. At my school we have stopped sweets being given out at birthdays and special occasions too and encouraged parents to bring in stickers/fruit or a class book when it is their child's birthday. Also giving rewards constantly undermines the child's intrinsic desire to complete their learning. I would speak to the teacher and the head teacher who may not know it's going on. I doubt it's school policy.

I teach in an independent school. There’s 700 pupils and not a single one of them looks overweight. I disagree with giving out sweets at school, it certainly is bad for dental health, and it definitely wouldn’t be allowed at our school. But there are far stronger social aspects in play with regards to obesity than whether a child is having a few jelly-tots throughout the day.

I would 100% complain to the school but would phrase it as an inappropriate reward to be constantly feeding children sweets rather than singling your son out. Dental health is important and so is general health.. I certainly don’t give my kids sweets every day, especially not on a school day.

Just trying to help you find your proportion 🤣

is it ideal practice? No

is it appalling 😡
is it worth fury 🤬
is it going to lead to dentures 🦷

No

Yeah, tell the dentist to chill the fuck out.

This. No child’s teeth ever fell out because of a couple of jelly tots. 🙄

That’s appalling. What is the teacher thinking? I would contact the head and ask for non-edible rewards as policy given how delicate their teeth are at this age.

Would be just as bad for the teeth tbh

OMG, ofc!!!!!

why worry about dental health and obesity now whilst you can actually do something about it? Let’s just all low-effort parent and wait until our kids get addicted to ket. FFS.

smh

I agree with this! Ask to see the behaviour policy as there’s no way it says sweets are regularly given throughout the day as extrinsic motivation!

The rules around food at school are now much stricter since ‘Natasha’s Law’ came into force. Independent schools are not above the law.

Is this your response to every concern raised on Mumsnet?

Posters mocking “pearl clutchers” - have you seen how overweight/ obese some children are? Ten years ago even, kids weren’t as big as they are nowadays. If teachers did this at our primary school I’d be furious and ask them to stop.

This! Be grateful that your child is able to benefit from smaller class sizes and everything that goes with a private education. There are children in state schools who haven’t eaten that day due to several factors. First world problems